May 31, 2011

Memorial Weekend..

I had a virtually perfect weekend. Mixed with best friends, laughter, dancing, swimming, good food, sunshine, ponds, rivers, and lots of hugs.

God is good.. but I am exhausted.

May 28, 2011

Weddings and Friends

Today.. Weddings and friends! I'm so excited to be here and around my friends.. Dancing, laughing, hanging out, joking around.. and the normal be-bopping around with my bff's :) So glad to be here.

May 27, 2011

Working Chaos...

Today at work was pure chaos. I mean literally I was the only one in the office (that was going to help in my department) and we had several crises, mostly dealing with the Convention program that apparently had a corrupt file.. the designer was out, the computer wasn't working, and my supervisor who has everyone's contact information was out... It was chaotic to say the least. I really feel like I just tried to direct the chaos into being controlled chaos instead of actually fix things because I literally could not fix it all. Thankfully one of the designers came in to fix the problem and leave again. Whew!

Then they let us leave 2 hours early... yet.. I left half an hour late from that too.. haha but, I am thankful that I was able to leave at 3:30 and get on the road, because leaving that much earlier allowed me to get out of the city and to Lynchburg in the normal 4- 4 1/2 hours instead of the million it might have taken had I left at 5.

Now on to a weekend with my bff's.. I needed Lynchburg peeps this weekend!.

May 26, 2011

Flippin Pizza!

Walked a mile down the road for my favorite tomato basil pizza! The roomie and I sat and ate right away of course!

May 23, 2011

Random Ramblings...

I hate how I have this ping-pong effect going on inside of me over the last several months. I keep trying to focus on the good, humorous, loving, etc.. moments and things going on.. and I will finally get back to a point of feeling like life is good... And then something or someone will do something that will change that entire feeling.

Let's discuss the bad first so we can leave with a couple funny stories that make me smile.

Thankfully my class (though it's the first week) is easier for me to understand.. and while I might change my opinion later, it makes the suckage less in my life!... However, my work situation is not getting better. I really am going to have to get on my knees and pray through all the stuff going on because it's not getting better on its own. And, while I COULD go on and on about all the reasons I have a right to feel, be, do, and think the things I do about my situations.. I also have to take responsibility for the fact that in several instances I have not done what I could have to make it better. Please pray for me.. because while I am not going to go through this list of things going on, I seriously need some help from the Lord.. And, whatever lesson He's trying to teach me.. PLEASE let it come quickly so I can move on and not drag it out arduously!

I have been really thinking and mulling over the several people who have misunderstood me and my heart so much lately.. Partially because there have been a couple in the last several days, but partially because it has come from people I feel like should know.. or have a sense of where my heart is, whether they understand everything I do or say or not... The frustration and hurt I feel from these instances is very real.. but surprising too that it is hitting me so deeply.

It is all very frustrating.. but I KNOW it will be worth it some day...

"God promises deep fulfillment and rich joy beyond your wildest dreams. When you come through your trials, you begin to experience it. That's why, if you've ever met a gentle, loving, wise person who radiates the love of Jesus, I can almost guarantee that he or she has suffered deeply. The way God produces that kind of person is through adversity. They don't give up, the life of Christ begins to manifest through them, and they have an inner joy and fulfillment from God that can't be touched by circumstances now and that is greatly magnified in heaven." (my favorite quote)


On the good side of things...
I got to dance three nights this weekend.. oooh boy was I tired this morning! And, all three nights were awesome and loads of fun. Friday night several friends showed up, a couple I knew about, and a couple I was pleasantly surprised to see... And, let's be honest, friends always make dancing way more fun.. if for no other reason than people watching!... And, maybe a little discussion about the various guys' styles, cuteness, abilities etc.. always an entertaining time!
Then, Saturday I went to a social salsa event, which had a significantly smaller crowd than I was expecting, but ended up being an absolute blast due to the people there. However, I probably danced less Saturday than the other nights, although I was there for a solid four hours!... But, I also laughed the most this night because while I was not dancing I was chatting away and making awkward situations even more awkward.. then we would all laugh about it. Great night!
Sunday I decided I wanted to go to my favorite place to dance here in DC... For a couple reasons, but the main one being that I will be out of town for the next three weekends, and I had not been in a month as is! I was not planning on staying very long at all given how much dancing I had done over the weekend, but I ended up meeting a couple great dancers, and chatting with one that I have seen several times before.. and we just had a great conversation.. 


Definitely the weekend I needed to face the chaos that is the week ahead of me.

May 21, 2011

Speak to Me...

A friend posted this YouTube video on Facebook.. and I out of curiosity clicked on it. Fracis Chan is an amazing communicator, and his humility has me in awe every time I read something of his or listen to him speak.

This video is in reference to the "Christian world debate on hell" that has been going on and sparked by Rob Bell.

I appreciate Francis Chan's encouragement to read the Bible, and seek understanding and wisdom.. but mostly to read it in the right perspective, that maybe, just maybe my ways, thoughts, feelings, are not "the best" and certainly not over God's...

Enjoy!

The End Of the World...

While I definitely do believe the world as we know it will end, and Christ will return one day, today is not that day. There are several things that are pretty clear in the book of Revelations about what will happen and what is to come first.. However,

"Heaven and earth will pass away, but My words will not pass away.
 36"But of that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, nor the Son, but the Father alone.
 37"For the coming of the Son of Man will be just like the days of Noah.
 38"For as in those days before the flood they were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, until the day that Noah entered the ark,
 39and they did not understand until the flood came and took them all away; so will the coming of the Son of Man be.
 40"Then there will be two men in the field; one will be taken and one will be left.
 41"Two women will be grinding at the mill; one will be taken and one will be left" -Matthew 24:35-41

So, it is coming one day.. But, only God knows the day and hour.

There are Days...

There are days that blow me away with how great they are. How seemlessly everything goes, and how in-tune with people I am, or they are with me.

And then, there are days like the last couple. Where I feel like I am running up against a brick wall, and nothing I do or say makes it better, and only makes the situation worse.

There are days that I am totally lost as to how I have gotten to where I am, how so many misunderstandings lead to such friction.

There are days that I wonder if I really am the way some people see me, maybe they are right and I am just totally blind to that area of myself.. and what do I do that creates that perception of me?

There are days I am overwhelmed with my imperfections and shortcomings that I find it not only hard to breathe, but I hurt at my core... and cannot decipher if it is true or not.

There are days that I can do nothing but just take whatever is thrown at me, because responding just makes it hurt worse.

There are days that the Grace and Mercy of God is hard to see through the emotions and frustrations.

There are days that only my flaws are visible, and there seems to be no one to lovingly cover them when I cannot.

There are days that I realize how much further I have to go, and maybe it really is for the best that I am alone because I would just screw up and hurt someone if they were with me.

There are days that life just sucks.

There are days that all I need is for someone to extend a little grace and mercy towards me, but I am too aware of the hypocrisy of seeking that to ask for it.

There are days that no one seems to understand me, and it leads to hurt, anger, frustration, and a whole slew of other emotions.

There are days that no matter how many times someone has said I am great or wonderful, this day proves them wrong in my own mind.

There are days that are clear as to why I should not be in a relationship because I have too many flaws still.

There are days that lead me to just want to drop my life and disappear to Africa.

There are days that I just feel alone and secluded.

There are days.......

May 19, 2011

Chunker...

I Love this little guy...

video
Thanks to my brother for sending this :)

May 18, 2011

Cleaning...

I know this probably isn't impressive to anyone else, but I love when my organization and clearer mind takes over and the little things are in their place.. Like my jewelry!

May 17, 2011

Letters from Home...

Today I came home exhausted once again (I'm feeling a trend for the next couple weeks), picked up the mail, and discovered a letter from home. My little sister had written me a note, as did my mom, along with a couple 3x5 cards with scriptures on them (that will go up around my room).

I cannot express how nice it is to hear from home, to get letters just updating me on life.. all the little things, the garden, the updates to the bathroom, the laughter, mother's day, funny conversations.. The little things that I miss every day. Letters from home sometimes come in the form of a card from someone in my family, or a note, or sometimes I get a card with scriptures and notes from several people.. and they always always seem to come at exactly the right time, saying exactly what I need them to.

My family is amazing, and God is awesome.

May 16, 2011

Pooped...

I woke up a little tired.. but mostly alright considering I slept horrible last night (I seem to go through terrible sleeping cycles... a lot.).. Work was productive but exhausting because of the number of projects I'm facilitating and all the different elements, meetings, timelines, emails, and conversations that have to take place about each aspect of each project. Tiring.

Then, I went to the gym for my Monday night beat down.. and left even more tired, but feeling good about the number of workouts and ways I have pushed myself this week/end. Made dinner, did homework.. and now.. I'm pooped. (eloquent huh? haha)

Sadly though, Wednesday is my last session with my personal trainer for at least six weeks while my life goes into massive overdrive with weddings, graduations, showers, travels, work, and school.. There was just no way I could fit in heading to the gym for an hour in a half twice a week.. especially knowing I will be gone for a solid two weeks because of weddings, graduations, and work.. which of course ALL take travels.. (Eek my gas bill is going to be ridiculous!) Thankfully though because I told him a couple weeks ago he's been able to change my trainings just a tad, and the last couple are all focused on the workouts I can do no matter where I am... Except, I desperately need new shoes, mine are leaving my knee hurting now, which really means my shoes have effectively died to running. Bummer.

Hot body whoa summer here I come!... After I sleep. :)

May 15, 2011

Die to Self...

Today's message at church (I went to the new Barracks Row location today!) was about dying to self, but also what happens when we reach the end of our "event horizon"

Event Horizon - In general relativity, an event horizon is a boundary in spacetime beyond which events cannot affect an outside observer. (wikipedia.com)

So, it started out explaining that there comes a point in each of our lives that we will forever be doing what we have been doing and be who we have always been. That we have reached the end (so to speak) of ourselves and it takes something outside of ourselves (God) to move us past our limits.

Then Pastor Mark (Batterson) went on to explain that in order for God to move us we have to die to ourselves DAILY.

"saying, "The Son of Man must suffer many things and be rejected by the elders and chief priests and scribes, and be killed and be raised up on the third day."
 23And He was saying to them all, "If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross daily and follow Me.
 24"For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake, he is the one who will save it.
 25"For what is a man profited if he gains the whole world, and loses or forfeits himself" - Luke 9:22-25

He went into details and explanations about how as humans we want to overcome things.. without actually having to overcome anything. And used the example of a man who sent him an email about being inspired by one of his books and how God used it to really motivate the man to get his health in order... which subsequently he lost 242lbs (that's more than an entire person!). But in order to do that he would have to essentially die to self (torture) himself at the gym daily, with the food he ate.. and he would not be able to do that without the help of the Lord to keep it going.

He also said that while the saying is "no pain, no gain" we in all honesty really just want "no pain.. no pain." We have this adverse reaction to avoiding pain.. regardless of what it would mean in the long run.

The message went on and on.. and was absolutely amazing.. but I really just want to focus on this part of the message...

Dying to myself daily. What would that look like in my own personal life?.. Oh gosh it could mean any number of things.. I think for each person it is something different. Some people it's food, alcohol, TV, etc..etc.. Really anything that needs to be given up, then gone to Christ in prayer asking Him to take it and do whatever He wants with it... Sometimes He will give it back.. and other times He will literally just want it to die out of your life. But, whatever it is will look different and be a different thing for each of us.

I don't know what mine is today.. or tomorrow. But, I really needed the reminder that it's time I begin focusing on dying to self again. I needed the kick in the gut to re-focus on God.. Which might sound funny since I pray and talk about God all the time.. But it is SO easy to have that always on my mind, but never really actually focus on the reality of what those actions would look like in my life.

Lord, help me die to self and learn what that looks like for me now. Give me the strength to follow through and follow YOU.

May 14, 2011

Saturday Serve...

Today I joined a friend of mine and we joined my church's Second Saturday Serve project opportunity. I have been wanting to do these since I moved here, however in the 6 or so months that I have been here I have only been in town for 1 of those and a friend was in town which caused the scheduling to be conflicting. I showed up a little early with Starbucks in hand, and talked to Matt another NCC attender, but to a different location. Then my friend and others slowly started trickling in.

Eventually they began explaining the service opportunities and the need at each location, along with the number of people needed. I needed to physically do work today, not sure why, but I needed to be productive. So, I volunteered to not only go to one of the more physical locations, but take the lead on it. We went to Christ's House, a place that supplies food to the community at large.. but ALSO supplies a whole slew of other food pantries in and around the city. They move thousands of pounds of food a year. It was really rather amazing. So, we followed Nicole down to the cramped basement with a low ceiling to get the instructions... We packed boxes full of food that will be sent to other food pantries. Each box could be no more than 40lbs, so we packed, weighed, wrote the poundage on each box and stuck a sticker of the organization on each box... All while ducking, bending, and slouching to avoid hitting our heads on heating ducts, water piping, and lights. I am not sure anyone realizes the challenges tall people have when carrying a 40lb box while having to duck or limbo under things. Whew! Afterwards the three of us (packing 30 boxes) headed to lunch to just hang out and chat, laughing and enjoying getting to know new people.

I loved the chance to physically get to show love to people who will never know what I have done. The mothers who feed their children with the food I packed today will never know how sore my back is or the time I spent in a damp basement to help her feed her family. That is awesome to me, I love that.. and it could not have been a more perfect project for me today.

Afterwards I stopped by the store to pick up a whole lot of Ramen Noodles to ship to my friend in Afghan-land.. And could not help but giggle at the store when a lady stopped me saying "I am so sorry.. but I am short, and you are very tall, can you reach up there and grab that for me?" She was so sweet about it, and let's be honest, it took no effort at all...

When I got home I for some reason had energy to spare.. So, I went for a 2 mile run in the misting rain... came home to do homework, laundry, and relax...

Now I'm getting ready to head out dancing (my body is really gonna hate me tomorrow!)...

I am so beyond content today. It amazes me how God works. All it takes is a little time actively getting outside my selfishness and putting some actions behind my words that speak more to my heart than so many other things I could have chosen to spend my time doing today.

May 12, 2011

Only in DC...

Only in DC do you insult someone to get the to become "saved"... Stupid.

May 8, 2011

Mom...

This is a picture of my mom and I from my whirlwind weekend trip last summer.

I know you do not have my mom.. and really that is a sad thing because she is an amazing woman. Let me tell you a little about her...
She is hands down the strongest woman I have ever met. She is not only smart but wise.. She is the epitome of what happens when God is asked, sought after, and encompasses someone's life. She is loving, caring, compassionate, passionate, and has this stubborn unwaivering faith that only comes from being German I am convinced! She comes from this amazing German family with these parents that really instilled in her an understanding that God is God, and we are not.. Her faith in the Lord inspires me constantly. She is the type of mom and wife I want to be some day.

I cannot count how many times in my life I have heard "You look just like your mother" or "she looks like your sister!"... and no matter how many times I hear it, I still get this warm fuzzy feeling inside because it gives me such a unique and personal connection with her.

She is so beautiful, inside and out. She does not even look close to being her age (shh!).. and what few wrinkles she has are these amazing laugh lines that she shows when she is spending time with our family doing whatever.... AND.. If I can look like her when I'm her age.. I'm gonna be stoked!

She is amazing and I love her so much.

Thank you mom for everything you have done, sacrificed, and helped me with throughout the years! I love you more than I can ever tell you, and I am literally thankful every day for you... And, no, I do not take you for granted even one single day. I know how lucky I am!

May 6, 2011

This Is Stupid...

There comes a point when you realize "this is stupid.." I reached that point yesterday, and it was confirmed again today. There is no reason to actively be putting myself in the middle of this much drama..

I am done and over this.

May 5, 2011

Yay!...

The last week or so I have been SO TIRED. I mean legit tired, waking up wishing I could sleep for another 5 hours. Lazy lazy lazy weekend.. I should have done more homework, but did not. Should have done more laundry (or maybe any at all), but did not. I should have done more grocery shopping, but did hardly any. Should have done more cleaning in my room/bathroom/around the house, but definitely did not. I was tired, physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Instead I did absolutely nothing Thursday and Friday night, Saturday woke up early, went running (thought I was gonna die.. who runs 15 minutes after they wake up?!), got a mani-pedi, did a very little bit of homework reading, and putzed around forever.. then went to watch the UFC fight and text my brothers... Sunday I didn't even go dancing! Gah.. that's tired!

I also discovered this week that my mouth has been leaning towards going unchecked! Not ok, not good. I spent a long time praying and asking for forgiveness for my unchecked and unkept mouth!.. And begging that God helps me get that back under control!

This week I have been super tired still.. But, I am not as emotionally or mentally tired.. Although, I was expecting to be! I might actually get through this class with a pretty good grade thank you to a classmate and lots and lots of prayer! (Thank you if you've been praying for me!)

Plus, I get to go to Lynchburg (spend a million dollars in gas.. I'm switching to train rides down I think as much as I can).

Life is never easy and always has challenges.. but thankfully God is still my God.

May 2, 2011

May 1st...

May 1st is quite the day in US history, in 1945 Hitler was announced dead, although he had committed suicide the day before, and in 2011 Bin Laden was announced dead as well. Both victorious days, and days full of what feels like Justice, although really God has the last say in true justice for them.

However, today, May 2nd I cannot help but feel like we have kicked a bee hive.. like this has entered us into some really horrible things to come. I am glad for the closure it brings some people, and thankful that this can put an end to some troubling things... But, our men are still in Afghanistan, Iraq, and many other places spread across the Middle East and around the world. I am proud of our military, so much so... but also feel compelled to pray for them more because this is not the end.. nor is this the beginning of the end.. This is not even the beginning. I feel like things are going to get worse... And, can I say I am really not ok with this feeling.

What I do know:
Yesterday, today, and tomorrow, my God is still God.
Things will get worse as they head towards the end times.
More deaths will come, more weeping, more sorrow... and more chance for God to sweep in and comfort His children.

God will be glorified.

May 1, 2011

Facts of Life 300's...


Because people have been asking.. Here are the Facts of Life 300's. 

Obviously there are a WHOLE lot of numbers missing, but that's because it is not complete, and the lower numbers have more...

Enjoy the "Facts of Life 300's" (and a bonus)!

 

Fact of Life #304: God never says life won't be full of challenges... 

 

Fact of Life #309: You can't blame other people for not getting over and moving past your own fears, limitations, and anxieties...

 
Fact of Life #310: All anyone has is 5 loaves and 2 fish.. God is what makes that enough for thousands.

Fact of Life #315: Guns don't mean safety, especially for me.
 
Fact of Life #346: Nerds tend to have more imagination....and everyone else is just jealous.
Fact of Life #350: Hiking and rock climbing causes tired bodies that need recovery the next day.

Fact of Life #356: Dinner, walks, and talking with friends (or roomies) who love Jesus can restore a weary soul.

 
Bonus Fact of Life: This morning more than 2,000 years ago my savior Jesus Christ rose from the grave paying for my sin and yours so that we could be seen as perfect, blameless, and holy in front of God.

Give Up Anything...

I have been thinking a lot lately about what God is/has been calling me to do, or what He is calling me to... Sounds like two very similar things, but they are distinctly different in my head, let me explain.

God calling me to do is more of the life vision, goal for me. I have said over and over my total goal is to "love people for Jesus" leaving it ambiguous because I do not believe it is any specific people... Christian or not, guy or girl, white or black or any color inbetween, republican or democrat, American or not, straight or gay, every single person. Sounds like such a cute and fluffy little statement for "cute Krista" to make. Especially when I make the statement with a smile and a giggle... And then the rubber meets the road and it is so ridiculously challenging it evokes no smiles, just hard work and dedication every morning to start new. And, I am really bad at it actually... Now, I know some of you would argue that I am better then I give myself credit for.. but that is because you fall in the category of people that are actually easy for me to love... There are certain people who just grate my nerves, annoy the snot out of me, that I just want to slap every time I see their face or hear their voice, or those that I mistakenly think I am better than, or just the people that are so different from me that I just don't care to try and love them... *sigh* Every day I need Jesus.

So, while I have this basic compass of what God is "calling me to do".. I also am working on understanding what that means specifically. Is He calling me to stay here? Finish school, stick it out in my job, etc.. Or can I pick up and peace out from any or all of the above? What does He want me to spend my minutes and hours working towards?.. What in my life gives Him the greatest glory?.. I dunno, but I sure would like to.

Then there is this slowly boiling thought "What is God calling me to?" Sounds so similar to the previous one that it could be mistaken as the same thing or weird rambling of mine once again... Yet, to me they are very different. You see, God calling me to do something is a bigger life journey type thing.. what He is calling me to is smaller, right now. I have been thinking extensively about this for a while.. ok ok, for about the length of time I have lived in DC (6 months), but more recently, and today's message at church got me thinking about what really is it.. I mean the "rich young ruler" was told to give his riches to the poor, then he can inherent the kingdom of God... Well, while I make a good wage, I don't even own a bed.. haha.. So, clearly my riches are lacking a bit. I do what I can to help people, family.. and am trying to pay off bills.. so what is God calling me to?... I do not know yet, but I am thinking about it because I am sure it is something substantial. I think sometimes we get caught up in the idea that all we have to give up is money.. But, one of the comments today really made me think, it was "God does not call you to give up everything, He calls you to give up anything." Meaning it will be dramatically different for each one of us what we give up for Christ. Hmm...

I will keep you posted as the thoughts formulate.