January Ramblings...

What a week it has been.. Sometimes I am just thankful to have made it through the week, and this week is definitely one of those weeks!

I am SO sore because I literally ran off the stress and anxiety this week with four separate days of running a 5k each time, three core work outs, thee shoulder work outs, and a kicking session. I have no idea how I am still walking right now.

My sleeping pattern continues to be absurd. For roughly six weeks (maybe a little more) I have been sleeping bizarrely. However, since just before Christmas my pattern is to sleep for about an hour (maybe two), then be awake for 30min-an hour.. Or to wake up every hour for a few minutes... I have no idea what is going on with my used to be able to sleep 10-12 hours straight... One day I know it will return to me.. Until then, I pray a lot at night now...

This song has been my favorite song for the last week or so..

Mounting Attacks...

I do not know why, but sometimes I am completely blown away by the force at which I end up struggling with things.. I am unsure why I do not see it coming more that Satan is mounting an attack, but let me tell you, sometimes I am just totally blindsided.

Today was one of those days.

Looking back on yesterday, I should have known it was coming, I spent a great deal of time praying yesterday, and was feeling particularly antsy and like I just could not rest... yet somehow I missed the signs that a full onslaught of struggling was coming.

Today, I was taken by surprise. I hate getting taken by surprise in this way, I hate that I barely slept, and certainly did not sleep well enough to be able to recognize what was happening. So, instead I spent hours today struggling with some pretty intense fear and anxiety. It was so much so that I literally could not put accurate words to it for hours.. and even after the majority of the attack was over I felt physically exhausted, but still completely jittery.

So, I talked with a few friends, ran my third 5k of the week, and proceeded to have my third core worked out of the week... I am going to be hurting tomorrow.. But, thankfully right now the gym time is working off the extra energy I cannot seem to control, clearing my mind of the fog, and giving me a distinct chance to pray (which seems to naturally be taking its place the last mile of my run).

Thankfully the full onslaught of whatever was going on earlier has been replaced by calm seas once more. I have no idea how people get through days like today without Christ...

I am so glad tomorrow is a new day.

Pooped...

I woke up a little tired.. but mostly alright considering I slept horrible last night (I seem to go through terrible sleeping cycles... a lot.).. Work was productive but exhausting because of the number of projects I'm facilitating and all the different elements, meetings, timelines, emails, and conversations that have to take place about each aspect of each project. Tiring.

Then, I went to the gym for my Monday night beat down.. and left even more tired, but feeling good about the number of workouts and ways I have pushed myself this week/end. Made dinner, did homework.. and now.. I'm pooped. (eloquent huh? haha)

Sadly though, Wednesday is my last session with my personal trainer for at least six weeks while my life goes into massive overdrive with weddings, graduations, showers, travels, work, and school.. There was just no way I could fit in heading to the gym for an hour in a half twice a week.. especially knowing I will be gone for a solid two weeks because of weddings, graduations, and work.. which of course ALL take travels.. (Eek my gas bill is going to be ridiculous!) Thankfully though because I told him a couple weeks ago he's been able to change my trainings just a tad, and the last couple are all focused on the workouts I can do no matter where I am... Except, I desperately need new shoes, mine are leaving my knee hurting now, which really means my shoes have effectively died to running. Bummer.

Hot body whoa summer here I come!... After I sleep. :)

The Plan...

So, this week I have done a first for me.. one thing I never thought I would do...

I got a personal trainer.

His name is Lionell, he's fun, spunky, has done years of boxing or martial arts, and is very interested in doing work outs that mix my martial arts with my fitness goals. He is also very careful about my shoulders and knees and my lack of wonderful joints, so he slowly is working on stabilizing muscles to help them.

I never thought I would get my own personal trainer.. I mean, lets me honest, they are expensive.. I lived with an athletic trainer for a year in a half, and while I am no stranger to gyms or working out, anything I did not know she did or was able to help me with (like wrapping my knee... and telling me what my issues probably were... even if I would soon forget she'd told me..whoopsie!)... But, mostly I was just not a fan of the cost of personal trainers...

However, as a complimentary thing (that's how they ALWAYS sucker you in!) I got an hour free with one of the personal trainers. He spent some time talking with me the day before to discuss my injuries and things, my goals etc..etc.. When I showed up, he commenced to working me so hard (mind you this is the first time really in 6 months I have done any serious working out) that a couple times I thought I might throw up, but then he would begin talking to me about martial arts related things... UFC fighting, favorite movies, sparring, the various styles we have both trained in... etc.. I was amazed at how quickly he passed the time, and how well he managed the hour.. and kicked my butt (I am so sore). He changed my diet just slightly, and we discussed the frequency of meeting, what I could afford, and that he wanted me to work out twice before we met again on Monday (this was Thursday).. Lovely. Did I mention sitting down and getting up from the toilet hurts?!

My plan: Meet with him twice a week for a month, then once a week for another month.. then I will be well on my way to exactly how I want to look and feel. Expensive, but since I really do feel awful and not thrilled, I figure this is a good jump-start to the entire process.

I am excited to finally look and feel great once again!

Hot Body Whoa..

I keep joking with a couple of my girl friends from various places that this will be "Hot Body Whoa" summer.. Mostly because I need humor to get me through the soon to be never ending soreness I will be enduring for months!.. However, as nerdy as it sounds..

I am SO EXCITED! I love being sore. I love feeling like my butt is going to fall off.. and sadly, I miss the brothers around to freak out and pummel every time they punch me where I am intensely sore.

I signed up for the gym.. and pay HALF what I paid to use the Y.. plus, this place is aesthetically way more pleasing (although the pool is only 3 lanes wide). I was a little unsure of the whole thing when I first walked in because they have a smoothie/drink bar.. like Tropical Smoothie Cafe.. and then all the basics, but the entire place is underneath the building. Kinda cool.

I also was not sure (although I knew I would sign up anyway because it is basically across the street) because part of signing up is to have a "free" hour lesson with a trainer (makes sense.. but I have been doing the gym thing on and off since I was 14..). However, the trainer came and introduced himself to me, and was real easy going and easy to talk to. He asked my fitness goals, what I tend to eat (which I confessed depends on how much time I have.. which has not been much lately), he then asked if I have any injuries.. Which initially I told him no.. but quickly remembered while I do not consider  my joint issues injuries.. others would.. Mostly due to the number of dislocations I have had to my shoulders and things. I was pleasantly surprised when in the midst of conversation we began to talk martial arts, so he understands my shoulder issues (because he's has the same ones).. and immediately began writing down notes to himself that I need stabilizing work outs, and that I need core work outs... I did forget to get my membership card and things.. but I will get those tomorrow.

I was surprised how excited I was walking out of the gym... between all the new active things I have going on.. I will certainly have the hot body whoa I am looking for this summer.. Just in time for my friends several weddings!.. Yesss! :)

Martial Arts & Dancing...

Endorphins change things... Or, at least we are told they do. And, I can certainly attest to the fact that when I am more active I feel better, my joints do not hurt as much, my body holds itself together better (part of the disorder thing I have). But, mostly I just enjoy the way my body looks more, I like when my muscles have just that little extra touch of toneness then they do when I am not working out. I find I am more confident in what I wear, and I like the way my body looks in general when I am more active.. Maybe yet another reason I LOVE summer...

So, I have gotten a gym membership again (well a free week pass until my paycheck comes and I can afford the real membership), and I have been invited to audition for a dance group this weekend. I figure I would probably REALLY enjoy the dance group, which is 12 weeks of 2 hour dance classes on Saturdays. PLUS, the gym I am going to has a cardio kickboxing class.. Yahtzee!.. Also, I think it might have a pool as well.. Double Yahtzee! With all of these things working with me, I will be in fantastic shape in no time, and I will be happier in general, partially because I will no longer just be going home to do homework.

I am excited to be tone again.. and to get to punch things.. swim away my stress.. and dance.. which means laughing a LOT. Martial arts and dancing!?.. Yess Please!