I have been thinking a lot lately about what God is/has been calling me to do, or what He is calling me to... Sounds like two very similar things, but they are distinctly different in my head, let me explain.
God calling me to do is more of the life vision, goal for me. I have said over and over my total goal is to "love people for Jesus" leaving it ambiguous because I do not believe it is any specific people... Christian or not, guy or girl, white or black or any color inbetween, republican or democrat, American or not, straight or gay, every single person. Sounds like such a cute and fluffy little statement for "cute Krista" to make. Especially when I make the statement with a smile and a giggle... And then the rubber meets the road and it is so ridiculously challenging it evokes no smiles, just hard work and dedication every morning to start new. And, I am really bad at it actually... Now, I know some of you would argue that I am better then I give myself credit for.. but that is because you fall in the category of people that are actually easy for me to love... There are certain people who just grate my nerves, annoy the snot out of me, that I just want to slap every time I see their face or hear their voice, or those that I mistakenly think I am better than, or just the people that are so different from me that I just don't care to try and love them... *sigh* Every day I need Jesus.
So, while I have this basic compass of what God is "calling me to do".. I also am working on understanding what that means specifically. Is He calling me to stay here? Finish school, stick it out in my job, etc.. Or can I pick up and peace out from any or all of the above? What does He want me to spend my minutes and hours working towards?.. What in my life gives Him the greatest glory?.. I dunno, but I sure would like to.
Then there is this slowly boiling thought "What is God calling me to?" Sounds so similar to the previous one that it could be mistaken as the same thing or weird rambling of mine once again... Yet, to me they are very different. You see, God calling me to do something is a bigger life journey type thing.. what He is calling me to is smaller, right now. I have been thinking extensively about this for a while.. ok ok, for about the length of time I have lived in DC (6 months), but more recently, and today's message at church got me thinking about what really is it.. I mean the "rich young ruler" was told to give his riches to the poor, then he can inherent the kingdom of God... Well, while I make a good wage, I don't even own a bed.. haha.. So, clearly my riches are lacking a bit. I do what I can to help people, family.. and am trying to pay off bills.. so what is God calling me to?... I do not know yet, but I am thinking about it because I am sure it is something substantial. I think sometimes we get caught up in the idea that all we have to give up is money.. But, one of the comments today really made me think, it was "God does not call you to give up everything, He calls you to give up anything." Meaning it will be dramatically different for each one of us what we give up for Christ. Hmm...
I will keep you posted as the thoughts formulate.