There are days that blow me away with how great they are. How seemlessly everything goes, and how in-tune with people I am, or they are with me.
And then, there are days like the last couple. Where I feel like I am running up against a brick wall, and nothing I do or say makes it better, and only makes the situation worse.
There are days that I am totally lost as to how I have gotten to where I am, how so many misunderstandings lead to such friction.
There are days that I wonder if I really am the way some people see me, maybe they are right and I am just totally blind to that area of myself.. and what do I do that creates that perception of me?
There are days I am overwhelmed with my imperfections and shortcomings that I find it not only hard to breathe, but I hurt at my core... and cannot decipher if it is true or not.
There are days that I can do nothing but just take whatever is thrown at me, because responding just makes it hurt worse.
There are days that the Grace and Mercy of God is hard to see through the emotions and frustrations.
There are days that only my flaws are visible, and there seems to be no one to lovingly cover them when I cannot.
There are days that I realize how much further I have to go, and maybe it really is for the best that I am alone because I would just screw up and hurt someone if they were with me.
There are days that life just sucks.
There are days that all I need is for someone to extend a little grace and mercy towards me, but I am too aware of the hypocrisy of seeking that to ask for it.
There are days that no one seems to understand me, and it leads to hurt, anger, frustration, and a whole slew of other emotions.
There are days that no matter how many times someone has said I am great or wonderful, this day proves them wrong in my own mind.
There are days that are clear as to why I should not be in a relationship because I have too many flaws still.
There are days that lead me to just want to drop my life and disappear to Africa.
There are days that I just feel alone and secluded.
There are days.......