Feb 27, 2011

My Three Loves...


This is how I spent my Sunday evening.. Chatting with my three loves.

Left to right..
Eleazar, Kaedon, and Akierra... They sang to me, read me books, showed me balls, told me what they learned at church, showed me bibles, and giggled like crazy... Loves of my life :)

Francis Chan...

I just want to put this out there... I have SO MUCH respect for Francis Chan.. So much.

Here's why...
  • First, he walked away from his mega amazingly booming church to follow Christ... (here)
  • Second, he continues to seek what is righteous and holy in Christ's eyes.. no matter what. (here)
How can I not respect a man who walks away from success for Christ?!... And, in the midst of all of it his comment is: “I think there has been too much emphasis on me. I want to be used by God, but I think we have this desire to make heroes out of people rather than following God and the Holy Spirit.”

Amen. I pray the Lord blesses him... but more than anything uses him to ROCK THIS WORLD to glorify Christ even more!

Thank you Lord for men like Him! I am so encourage in my soul to see men of Christ not just "living" a life sold out for Christ.. but actually LIVING a life sold out.. and excitedly talking about it!... Just awesome!.. And, even cooler that, people think he's nuts! haha!

Feb 25, 2011

Let's Talk...

Today at work, we had a "retreat" .. only in-house. The point was to talk and share how everyone was feeling about the craziness that has been going on, frustrations, etc.. we played ridiculous games (of course) and talked about things we could do to help... Over all it was fine, I am glad the leadership thinks those kind of things are important, but I have little faith that it will ultimately change anything. I will be impressed if they continue the dialogue and ask everyone to continue sharing beyond today. I really hope that is the case... And, I am really praying for a solid amazing Executive Director in June.

Feb 23, 2011

Not Too Much..

On my lunch break today I was perusing the Stuff Christians Like blog, and reading the funny, interesting, and randomness that is Jon Acuff's mind. Well, I stumbled upon his "Proverbs 31 Wife - 3000 and 8 edition" and I read as he talked about the things he loves about his wife.. of course Jon style.. all a little odd and different.. but completely valid!

In this blog he quotes a counselor as saying:
“The one thing a husband wants to know is that he is enough. That his masculinity, the way he provides for the family, the security he gives is enough. The one thing a wife wants to know is that she is not ‘too much.’ That she can be as beautiful and as powerful and as you, unique as God has called her without overpowering the relationship. That her husband is enough to handle her becoming everything she can become.”
I LOVE THIS QUOTE. It pretty much sums up exactly why I am still single, and why I am completely content in that place in my life. When a guy who is confident enough in himself to reassure me that I am not too much for him comes around, I will marry him... And, it probably won't take me very long to make that decision. But, until then I would (praise the Lord) rather be single and whole then coupled up and broken.

So, to all my amazing beautiful girlfriends who are still single, find comfort in the fact that God knows and has placed the need in us to want to know we are not too much. I mean let's be honest, we can be a force to be reckoned with if push comes to shove.. and that can be intimidating for anyone.. especially a guy. But, the problem comes in when the force to be reckoned with comes up against a man who is not founded in Christ enough to not only withstand that force, but direct, guide, encourage, or help subside it (regardless of what that actually looks like in the moment).. If a man knows how to handle a women in the full glory of who she is, then God can use the two of them for His full glory... but, if the man cannot (for whatever reason), then they become a poor debilitated sight of what God's union with us is supposed to look like, and everyone pities both people involved in the relationship.

And, to all the potentially amazing men out there who are single.. Where are you? Why have you not stepped into the full glory of who God created you to be?.. Me and all of my single girlfriends are waiting for you to man up, so please look into that...

Thank you to whoever the counselor was who originally said this statement. That is exactly why I am in the place I am.. I want to be the entire package of who I was meant to be, but that's a lot to handle, so until a man shows me he can handle it.. God and I will do just fine thank you!

Feb 22, 2011

Thankful Today...

Life is never easy.. Have you ever noticed or thought about that? I mean, even when "life is good" there is ALWAYS something either looming or partaking in what is going on right now.

Yet, somehow we in the midst of everything forget all the time how blessed we are..

One of my old youth leaders posted this on her facebook status and I got to thinking a lot about it,
"What if all you had today is what you thanked God for yesterday?"
Well, I determined I would always have food and my family.
I would often have food, family, friends, and my car.
Sometimes I would have food, family, friends, my car, sunshine, and the same day over (I sometimes literally just thank God for my day)... 
I hardly ever thank God for my money, my clothes, make-up, shoes, etc.. Not that I am unappreciative.. I just tend to be thankful for things that legitimately mean something to me or things that tend to be stressers in my life (aka my car).

So Lord, thank you, for my food, friends, family, car, house, job, clothes, money, shoes, breath, and every other ridiculously small thing in my life that I tend to overlook. I am so blessed even when I am stressed and in a piss-poor mood. Thank you that your blessings have nothing to do with me, but everything to do with you.

Feb 21, 2011

Just Dance...

I spent two nights this past weekend going dancing... I wanted to find and experience new places around DC to dance, and decided since it was an extended weekend it was the perfect reason to go! Plus, as always the cardio involved is crazy intense, and so much better then running a few miles.

There is something freeing and energizing about wearing myself out dancing. haha The thing that makes it even odder is that typically I dance with men I do not know. But, I love the fact that there is so much technique involved, and it requires a different tactic and response with each guy I dance with. I love learning new moves, and honing my skills.. Plus it helps that I feel totally beautiful in a new way.

When I do martial arts I feel beautiful, but in a skilled, trained, specific, graceful and powerful way. This is just pure "I am a beautiful girl" kind of feeling. Love it, and love how tired I am afterward.

Feb 20, 2011

John 15:12-14

"This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you. "Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends. "You are My friends if you do what I command you..."

Thank you Jesus that I have friends who would do this for me.

Help me always view those around me in this way.

Feb 19, 2011

I Am Not Perfect...

Sometimes it is one of the most aggravating things in the world to me when people who should know me assume I am a certain way... without ever asking, watching, paying attention... etc..

I understand that typically my personality type is a certain way. I get that I tend to want to be right (... does anyone want to be wrong?). I know that it can be incredibly frustrating for others when I make them prove their point by giving me facts or examples.. I get these things.

But, I also know that I will always be the first to say that I am not ALWAYS RIGHT. I am wrong all the time. I overreact. I exaggerate when I am worked up... etc.. I know these things about myself. I also know that I do not often concede to someone else's "feelings".. sometimes when it turns into them saying "I just feel like you..." ok.. I'll totally give them that because at that point they are not saying it is true.. just that they FEEL like it is. Totally valid and legit.

When I get frustrated is when people accuse me of thinking, acting, etc.. or it becomes their mission whether intentionally or not to prove to me.. or themselves.. or the surrounding world that I am flawed and not perfect... They will always succeed. Is anyone watching to care? Is there this massive checklist that I have missed somewhere keeping tally of how many times I have just flat out admitted I was wrong, and that person is better then me?.. Because if so, I have a lot of checks to add to that list.

The thing that digs at me the most is the total and utter pushing for me to fail. There is no love there, there isn't even caring or compassion. It is one thing to totally call me out for being ridiculous, mean, rude etc.. it is a totally different thing to purposefully strive for me to fail. I just do not get it. What have I ever done to make someone not only want me to fail, fall on my face, whatever.. but to push for it.. to try and make me look like a fool in front of others. I do not need that in my life, thank you.

The sad thing is, while tonight I am thinking of a particular instance... I can think of other instances in the last couple years where people who claimed to love and care for me, the very same people who were supposed to use that love to help me grow and cover my flaws, decided for whatever reason that I am a certain way. And then, either tried to dictate their totally inaccurate concept on me in front of other people or they tried to tell me how I am and what I think...

Please, just ask me to explain what I am thinking or leave me alone. I do not need you telling me all the times I fail in a day for no other reason then trying to make me fail or look like a fool to others. I welcome being called out, I cherish the friends who not only know my flaws, but work along side me to help me be better tomorrow then I was today. Satan has enough people in my life tearing me down, do not choose to pointlessly be one of them... Instead either leave me alone or actually love me and work to help me be better.

Feb 18, 2011

Thai-n-me..

Thai Lad Na and I Am Number Four on the agenda tonight.. Love Fridays :)

Feb 17, 2011

"Then they sat down on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights with no one speaking a word to him, for they saw that his pain was very great." - Job 2:13

Feb 16, 2011

Babies...

It is no secret to anyone that in the stage of life I am in, all my friends are getting married or having babies... I cannot wait until it is my turn... But, lets be honest I am no where near ready right now! I love where God has placed me and where He has molded my heart lately. I have found this totally content feeling in this stage of life I have, the "freedom" to up and move.. travel.. spend riduculous amounts of money on food or whatever.. and have the time to go back to school (I honestly have NO idea how parents do it too!!) Anyway.. I digress... I am so excited to someday be a mom, key word someday.. BUT I have a few caveats.. (is anything ever just straight forward and simple with me!?) I want at least 4 kids.. and I would be ok if I adopted all of them. It comes as no surprise to the people who know me that I am in love with Africa.. and especially little beautiful African boys.. From any country really, each one has distinct features that are dominant in them, I just think they are the most adorable things ever :) Really!.. I have always felt this way, but it has been confirmed by two of my friends.. Well, really one friend I made near the end of college, and his beautiful wife who after several years of marriage have decided their first child will be adopted from Ethiopia!.. I am so excited for them and their journey!! The updates and whole process is exciting, frustrating, and just about every emotion you can think of..

If you feel led to help support them and their journey (cause lets be honest it is not a cheap endeavor!) visit their blog here and check out their many fund-raising plans they have going on right now! They have tshirts, auctions, puzzle piece sponsors etc.. If Emily cannot move your heart and get you excited with them no one can!... I am so excited for them, and hope to one day be in their shoes :)

My other story I want to highlight are also a couple friends from college... We all knew each other cause of the size of the school we went to, and even though we were not ever super close, I always enjoyed chatting with them. They have a BEAUTIFUL and adorable daughter currently, and have recently discovered they are expecting twins!.. Mandy is adorable and I am totally convinced one of the best, strongest, most creative momma's out there!.. Her story is a really fun one to follow on their blog here...

I am really excited for both sets of these friends and their journey's.. TOTALLY different, but exciting and planned out by our wonderful Savior :) Hope you enjoy their stories as much as I do, and if you feel led, send up a prayer for them.. and maybe help support them :)

Feb 15, 2011

Tired..

Today I am just tired.. got plenty of sleep last night, work was not horrible, homework was normal.. but I am just tired. I think (and hope) the stresses from the last couple weeks have finally begun to wear out, and my body has begun to let it go...

On a fun note, I have begun a blog exclusively for fun.. just chronicling my hairstyles and the fun involved with it. I am excited to have something just for fun with there being no additional reason behind it. :)

Feb 14, 2011

Valentine's Day...

I have had my ebs and flows with Valentine's day.. in highschool I LOVED it because my dad always got me something special :) A couple years in college I loathed this day, wore black, and was bitter... Then slowly a friend made me realize it's about actually expressing that you care.. and to make sure I knew I was loved he bought me roses every year... And would fight with the florist EVERY YEAR because he hates yellow... and of course yellow is the friendship rose. So, usually he'd settle with peach or orange with tips, pink with tips.. etc.. Slowly he helped me realize it's not a holiday to be hated.. After college I became indifferent about the holiday.. Mostly due to the fact that I have never once had a boyfriend during this time of year (haha.. amusing to me now)..

This year, I love this holiday. I mean, I still do not have a boyfriend, nor my friend around to give me flowers so I know I'm loved just because.. But, this year I am totally content with who I am, who God is making me to be.. and I know I am loved. So, I made a point to let a few people know I love them.. just because :)

However, the thing that really has changed it for me is learning WHY this is a "card holiday" .. (I mean seriously, does Hallmark need a reason to make a profit on a certain day?!).. So, here's a bit of history for you to know why this is kind of actually a cool holiday!...

(small snippet of the story)
In Rome in A.D. 270, Valentine had enraged the mad emperor the mad emperor Claudius II, who had issued an edict forbidding marriage. Claudius felt that married men made poor soldiers, because they were loath to leave their families for battle. The empire needed soldiers, so Claudius, never one to fear unpopularity, abolished marriage.

Valentine, bishop of Interamna, invited young lovers to come to him in secret, where he joined them in the sacrament of matrimony. Claudius learned of this "friend of lovers," and had the bishop brought to the palace. The emperor, impressed with the young priest's dignity and conviction, attempted to convert him to the Roman gods, to save him from otherwise certain execution. Valentine refused to renounce Christianity and imprudently attempted to convert the emperor. On February 24, 270, Valentine was clubbed, stoned, then beheaded.

History also claims that while Valentine was in prison awaiting execution, he fell in love with the blind daughter of the jailer, Asterius. Through his unswerving faith, he miraculously restored her sight. He signed a farewell message to her "From Your Valentine," a phrase that would live long after 
its author died. 

So, there you have a kinda cool reason.. This holiday is a reminder to write the one(s) you love and tell them you love them and why.
Pretty cool to me :) (even if secular society has taken it and ran.. kinda like Santa and the Easter Bunny)

Feb 13, 2011

The Burg...

I had an amazing weekend back home seeing all my lovely friends and second family!

I am blown away by how loved and cared for I am, and I hate that I can forget so easily when I am not physically around them.. There is no wonder why I struggle sometimes with FEELING loved from God... If I can forget this quickly with people I can physically hug, God enters into His own ballgame.

The people are amazing.

The mountains are amazing.

The coffee is amazing.

The drivers are terrible.

Church was also amazing.. I will post more about that later this week though! For now, I am way too tired to put into words all the thoughts from the day!

Feb 11, 2011

Going Home!...

Today after work I am headed home.. well not home home.. but Lynchburg Home.

I am so excited! I have not been there since the end of October, and have missed everyone like crazy! Thank goodness for Skype (if you don't know what skype is.. google it!), Cell phones, text messages, and Facebook. I know those are all sorta lame things to be thankful for, but because of my hectic schedule they make it significantly easier to keep in contact with the number of people I do.. and I love every single one of them, all for different and specific reasons are they dear to my heart.. But, I get to go see them! I'm pretty excited :)

Also, due to an almost daily comment at work about my hair's never ending changing styles I have decided to start a blog about it. I am pretty excited and am really only doing it for something totally ridiculous and fun. I will post more on that one soon. Regardless it will be something fun to do for at least a little while :)

I am so thankful it's the weekend.. and I get to go get a million hugs!

Feb 10, 2011

I Forget All the Time...

These songs are how I'm feeling today after what feels like just more crap and stress then I should have to deal with in any single day... One was sent to me by a friend.. the other I found this weekend and just keep playing over and over.



After I heard this song, and was informed that this is mine and my friends song.. I was like "That is SO TRUE!" .. This is the stuff that drives me crazy.. and I forget how much I'm blessed.
Then I'm reminded how really all I want is to be closer to Jesus... Even when things get in the way and I can't figure out why, all I really want is more of Jesus and to be closer to Him...
 
 I am thankful.. I just forget sometimes. Praise the Lord for amazing artists who help me remember.

Feb 9, 2011

BFF Day...

Today is my bff's birthday!!

So, in honor of her birthday, and all things her.. Here are a few funny moment, things I adore about her, and just in general reasons she is my bff :)

We met several years ago in NYC, a place we both love.. and realized we'd heard ABOUT each other for several years.. and somehow had missed actually meeting.. Initially we both were certain we would not like the other one because the other was clearly too cool and everyone else loved the them, so "they" must have let it go to their head...... By the end of the week.. we loved each other too and just clicked.

She quickly established herself as my person, and I realized how much I need her in my life all the time.. Seriously... There was one point in our friendship that both of us were going through crazy difficult things, and because of that neither of us were calling the other one very much. Well, by the time we did connect we were both so upset that we essentially got into a screaming match... For what?.. Because the other one didn't call... LOL I am not even sure what we yelled about, but I remember being so mad she hadn't called to check on me... and her yelling at me because I am her person. I should have known to call. Now we both laugh at the ridiculousness that was that fight, and are so thankful that we are safe enough to scream at without any lasting repercussions!

A couple summers ago she planned to come visit me in VA.. Only the night before she was due to leave her car broke down. I was totally dejected cause I just knew that meant all the fun things I had been anticipating just were not going to happen... THEN she called and informed me she had rented a car, and would be leaving as planned.. I was so excited I could barely contain it!.. And then I had to wait 12 hours for her to drive to VA!... Oh, and did I mention she was having severe back problems during that time period?.. Only a bff has that kind of dedication!


The Captain Planet theme song.. yeah, that's ours. "With our powers combined..."  :)

She gets away with all kinds of things that no one else does simply because she is my bff.. and she KNOWS what those things are! =P

 
Best friend, Bff, and I... about to have an oreo, peanutbutter, and whipped topping fight... Started by me, in my house.. and ended with water all over the house as well lol :)


She and I have been through countless talks about God, boys, family, work, hair, clothes.. pretty much any and everything... She is always my default go to person, and always knows when to call just to hear my voice. She somehow always knows how to love me in just the perfect way only a best friend can... whether that be encouraging scriptures left on the sink counter when I visit, laughs, Friends, food, and starbucks.. Or whether it is a call when I find out one of my old residents decided to end their life. She always knows just the right thing to say and do.. And never ceases pushing me to God.

Her text messages, emails, phone calls, and cards are always so encouraging.. and she always talks about how much I do for her.. but really God knew I needed her in my life as much if not more then whatever she says I do for her..



And, finally all of our prayers got answered.. She is now living her very own chick-flick fairy tail and is married to an amazing man who I am so happy to say I LOVE.. and he is absolutely perfect for her!.. Plus, a major benefit is he knows when to give us our time! I prayed for him to come into her life and sweep her away in such a huge way that she would be left without words and so totally humbled and feel like everything else was worth it. He has done that and so much more! Our God is awesome!

So, to my bff.. Thanks for being my person. I love you so much! Happy Birthday!! :)

Feb 8, 2011

Feb 6, 2011

Weekend Ramblings..

This was such a great weekend.

I went to coffee, live music, and Good Stuff burgers with my roomie Friday night.

On Saturday I slept, did homework, filed taxes, paid bills, did a little laundry, and went to Bdubs to watch the fights. Made a new couple "friends" aka, sat next to a couple people that made it lots of fun, even though I went alone. Texting with my brothers the entire time, also fun.

 Today I went to church, out to lunch with a group from my church as a "welcome" for the new members.. it was fun to meet some new people and just talk... we pretty much talked travel the whole time, it was awesome :) Church was good.. I am really loving my church more and more every week. Took a nap, went to a superbowl party after a church service with one of my friends.. had a blast..

I am finally feeling like I am starting to get/create/find/etc.. my niche here. I am so grateful.

I also decided I am done worrying, fretting, and getting frustrated over people getting engaged and married "before me." I mean really.. it is a useless, pointless, waste of time, and I am done with it. I figure I will give myself another 10 years before I begin to really even toy with the idea of worrying that I will not find "the one." But, what that does is in the mean time it gives me the chance to tell and show people to knock it off.. I will find my lover when it is God's timing.. And, until then all my focus is going to be in living the way God is directing me to. There is a lot less stress involved when I am not worried about guys. I mean, don't get me wrong, I have seen some fairly attractive men. But, none that seem to pursue me or my God or both.. so I feel compelled to forget them as possibilities.

I would rather live a whole life never knowing marriage or sex then live my life miserable and broken. So, please.. Stop pittying me, feeling sorry for me, hurting for me, etc.. I am fine, and will continue to be.

The sun was shining today and it was fairly nice out.. FINALLY it feels like maybe winter will slowly begin to release it's fangs and let spring take over!!! I can't wait.

I am so incredibly grateful for the ways in which God has begun weaving hope and excitement back into my life. I am so thankful.

Feb 4, 2011

Coffee and Music...

My roomie and I did this for our Friday night :) Coffee and live music at www.ebenezerscoffeehouse.com and listened to www.bethanyandtheguitar.com great easy listening!

Feb 3, 2011

Mish Mash...

Work is getting incredibly stressful.

I am almost constantly sore right now thanks to my personal trainer.

School is so hard... and I definitely got and F for focus this week.

Sleep is something I cannot seem to get enough of.

Dancing makes me smile.

Coffee is a wonderful thing.

I love my roomies.. especially when they help me figure things out, make me food, and just do small things that they do not have to. I am so blessed.

Happy birthday Daddy!.. He's pretty much amazing, and I am so lucky he's my daddy!

I am so thankful for my supervisor.

I am going to have to pull some of my crap together to make it through this spring with work and school.. and finding a way to have a life.

God is good.. I am not. This week is total proof.

My mom's voice is one of the most soothing and comforting things ever.

The book of Acts is so interesting to me.

I have GOT to do laundry this weekend.. because I NEEDED to do it last and didn't.

I am starting to see results from working out.. Hurray!

I realized today I am very stressed because I ate out of duty instead of hunger.

My niece and nephews are pretty much the most adorable things EVER... I am stoked to possibly be getting them for 10 days this summer!

I miss having my windows down while I drive.

I miss shorts, tank tops, and flip flops.

I am excited to see how God pulls off the next couple months without me becoming a basketcase.

I am very tired.

Feb 1, 2011

Weekend Glimpse...

Waiting for the metro...
 My street! :)
Train Skiing/Surfing

K-DAY!! :)

 My Ninja ona-mona-pea cake!
 My amazing wonderful friends!!! :)
Albert Einstein!

 Lincoln Memorial.. Way Sweet!
 Metro riding :)
This is my hood.. No big deal :)

He got a little thirsty ;)