Valentine's Eve Thoughts...

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day... I am single.

I think technically I am supposed to be some sort of combination of bitter, jaded, lonely, depressed, wallowing or anti-relationships...

Yet, I find myself none of these things.

I am content, happy, grateful, fulfilled, inspired, and loved.

Life is never easy, I say or mess things up all the time. I am too abrupt, too harsh, say things with the entirely wrong timing, miss opportunities to show love to others, and often hurt people with my selfishness.

I do not deserve the love and care of my family and friends. I am not deserving of the prayers and petitions uttered on my behalf, and I am certainly not even close to worthy to have a savior...

Yet, I have all of these things. How can I be anything but content, happy, grateful, fulfilled, inspired and feel completely and utterly loved?!

Let me tell you,
Life is hard,
                 Life is busy,
                                   Life is chaotic,
                                                         Life is messy,
                                                                             Life is painful,
                                                                                                  Life is worth every bit of the challenges.


I am sure one day I will have an amazing man who will blow me away, and I look forward to the Valentine's Day when I have someone special to celebrate (much like birthdays) the love we share, but I find myself completely willing to let that day stay exactly in the timing it will be found in... I am content to let God go before me and lay all of those things in order. Tomorrow I am happy to be exactly where I am.

I have a hope and a future, and I know this, but until "someday" becomes today, I am content to be in my moment and not worry about tomorrow. I am genuinely happy for those who have a reason to celebrate Valentine's Day with someone they love, I feel bad for those who feel like tomorrow is nothing but salt being rubbed in an open wound, and I rejoice with those who are happy to face tomorrow with a joy even in their singleness.

Catch this...
(How many times does it say God's faithful love continues forever?..)

"Give thanks to the Lord, because he is good.
   His faithful love continues forever.

 Give thanks to the greatest God of all.
   His faithful love continues forever.

 Give thanks to the most powerful Lord of all.
   His faithful love continues forever.

 Give thanks to the only one who can do great miracles.
   His faithful love continues forever.

 By his understanding he made the heavens.
   His faithful love continues forever.

 He spread out the earth on the waters.
   His faithful love continues forever.

 He made the great lights in the sky.
   His faithful love continues forever.

 He made the sun to rule over the day.
   His faithful love continues forever.

 He made the moon and stars to rule over the night.
   His faithful love continues forever.

 Give thanks to the One who killed the oldest son of each family in Egypt.
   His faithful love continues forever.

 He brought the people of Israel out of Egypt.
   His faithful love continues forever.

 He did it by reaching out his mighty hand and powerful arm.
   His faithful love continues forever.

 Give thanks to the One who parted the Red Sea.
   His faithful love continues forever.

 He brought Israel through the middle of it.
   His faithful love continues forever.

 But he swept Pharaoh and his army into the Red Sea.
   His faithful love continues forever.

 Give thanks to the One who led his people through the desert.
   His faithful love continues forever.

 He killed great kings.
   His faithful love continues forever.

 He struck down mighty kings.
   His faithful love continues forever.

 He killed Sihon, the king of the Amorites.
   His faithful love continues forever.

 He killed Og, the king of Bashan.
   His faithful love continues forever.

 He gave their land as a gift.
   His faithful love continues forever.

 He gave it as a gift to his servant Israel.
   His faithful love continues forever.

 Give thanks to the One who remembered us when things were going badly for us.
   His faithful love continues forever.

 He set us free from our enemies.
   His faithful love continues forever.

 He gives food to every creature.
   His faithful love continues forever.

 Give thanks to the God of heaven.
   His faithful love continues forever" (hint it's 26 times in this one passage)

-Psalm 136

Valentine's Day...

I have had my ebs and flows with Valentine's day.. in highschool I LOVED it because my dad always got me something special :) A couple years in college I loathed this day, wore black, and was bitter... Then slowly a friend made me realize it's about actually expressing that you care.. and to make sure I knew I was loved he bought me roses every year... And would fight with the florist EVERY YEAR because he hates yellow... and of course yellow is the friendship rose. So, usually he'd settle with peach or orange with tips, pink with tips.. etc.. Slowly he helped me realize it's not a holiday to be hated.. After college I became indifferent about the holiday.. Mostly due to the fact that I have never once had a boyfriend during this time of year (haha.. amusing to me now)..

This year, I love this holiday. I mean, I still do not have a boyfriend, nor my friend around to give me flowers so I know I'm loved just because.. But, this year I am totally content with who I am, who God is making me to be.. and I know I am loved. So, I made a point to let a few people know I love them.. just because :)

However, the thing that really has changed it for me is learning WHY this is a "card holiday" .. (I mean seriously, does Hallmark need a reason to make a profit on a certain day?!).. So, here's a bit of history for you to know why this is kind of actually a cool holiday!...

(small snippet of the story)

In Rome in A.D. 270, Valentine had enraged the mad emperor the mad emperor Claudius II, who had issued an edict forbidding marriage. Claudius felt that married men made poor soldiers, because they were loath to leave their families for battle. The empire needed soldiers, so Claudius, never one to fear unpopularity, abolished marriage.

Valentine, bishop of Interamna, invited young lovers to come to him in secret, where he joined them in the sacrament of matrimony. Claudius learned of this "friend of lovers," and had the bishop brought to the palace. The emperor, impressed with the young priest's dignity and conviction, attempted to convert him to the Roman gods, to save him from otherwise certain execution. Valentine refused to renounce Christianity and imprudently attempted to convert the emperor. On February 24, 270, Valentine was clubbed, stoned, then beheaded.

History also claims that while Valentine was in prison awaiting execution, he fell in love with the blind daughter of the jailer, Asterius. Through his unswerving faith, he miraculously restored her sight. He signed a farewell message to her "From Your Valentine," a phrase that would live long after 

its author died. 

So, there you have a kinda cool reason.. This holiday is a reminder to write the one(s) you love and tell them you love them and why.

Pretty cool to me :) (even if secular society has taken it and ran.. kinda like Santa and the Easter Bunny)