I do not know why, but sometimes I am completely blown away by the force at which I end up struggling with things.. I am unsure why I do not see it coming more that Satan is mounting an attack, but let me tell you, sometimes I am just totally blindsided.
Today was one of those days.
Looking back on yesterday, I should have known it was coming, I spent a great deal of time praying yesterday, and was feeling particularly antsy and like I just could not rest... yet somehow I missed the signs that a full onslaught of struggling was coming.
Today, I was taken by surprise. I hate getting taken by surprise in this way, I hate that I barely slept, and certainly did not sleep well enough to be able to recognize what was happening. So, instead I spent hours today struggling with some pretty intense fear and anxiety. It was so much so that I literally could not put accurate words to it for hours.. and even after the majority of the attack was over I felt physically exhausted, but still completely jittery.
So, I talked with a few friends, ran my third 5k of the week, and proceeded to have my third core worked out of the week... I am going to be hurting tomorrow.. But, thankfully right now the gym time is working off the extra energy I cannot seem to control, clearing my mind of the fog, and giving me a distinct chance to pray (which seems to naturally be taking its place the last mile of my run).
Thankfully the full onslaught of whatever was going on earlier has been replaced by calm seas once more. I have no idea how people get through days like today without Christ...
I am so glad tomorrow is a new day.