Aug 27, 2011
Moving Day..
Aug 25, 2011
Like the Ocean...
I was talking with my roomie last night, and we were discussing the challenges that have been the last year of our lives and friendship. How different things have been this summer versus last winter, and how much less time we have had together, but how we both are confident in our friendship. We began likening our current state of life to swimming, and I described it as "active floating." You know, the type of floating you do in the ocean. Not the typical 'I'm just gonna lay here and bask in the water' but the 'I have to be intentional about floating or I'll get swallowed by a wave' kinda floating.
This person is the one that never encounters Christ and pretends He is not there.
2. The wave walkers, the ones that likes the water well enough, but really just prefers to dabble in it. They are content to walk along the waters edge, let it swirl around their feet, and occasionally get the bottoms of their pants a little wet. But, regardless, they are definitely touching the water, it just has no profound impact on them.
These are the people that are "Christians" but are not really all in. They know, understand basics, and feel Christ, but they are not overly moved or effected by it.
3. The water waders, the person that enjoys getting in the water, but there is no way they are going to go deep at all, and they are perfectly fine with "wading" as their main pass time. They are definitely moved and affected by waves, the sand under their feet moves quite a bit, but the ocean still has no profound impact in their life.
This is the type of person that is involved enough in their relationship to Christ that they know and feel Him moving, but they really are still only comfortable if they feel like they are in control of their life.
4. The casual swimmer, they enjoy the ocean, they like playing in the waves, are definitely moved by the tides, and have a great deal of fun, although they still want to touch the ground so they only go about waist deep. For them, playing in the waves is fine as long as there is a measure of ability to control how much interaction with the ocean they have... even if it is really only an illusion.
This is the Christian that means it, there is no hint of just talk in their relationship with Christ, but they still have a few major beefs with the whole "surrender" to Christ. There is still a measure of restraint and fear in letting go and being free in Christ. However, regardless, these people are clearly moved, sometimes covered, and definitely playing in the ocean.
5. The body surfer, they are truly abandoned in the ocean. They are rolling in the waves, ignoring potential dangers, and completely at the mercy of the ocean. The waves, tides, and sheer force of the water create an exhilarating feeling of adventure, joy, and play.
(Please note that none of these pictures are mine, so they are linked to where I found them to give proper credit)
(This woman isn't really active floating... but it helps give a visual)
Then I made a brief comment about having a metaphor for the way people interact with Christ, and the way they approach being a Christian.
There are five types of ocean people.
1. The beach dwellers, they never really care to get into the water or even touch it at all. These people are perfectly content to play in the sand and really not even acknowledge the water at all.
2. The wave walkers, the ones that likes the water well enough, but really just prefers to dabble in it. They are content to walk along the waters edge, let it swirl around their feet, and occasionally get the bottoms of their pants a little wet. But, regardless, they are definitely touching the water, it just has no profound impact on them.
3. The water waders, the person that enjoys getting in the water, but there is no way they are going to go deep at all, and they are perfectly fine with "wading" as their main pass time. They are definitely moved and affected by waves, the sand under their feet moves quite a bit, but the ocean still has no profound impact in their life.
4. The casual swimmer, they enjoy the ocean, they like playing in the waves, are definitely moved by the tides, and have a great deal of fun, although they still want to touch the ground so they only go about waist deep. For them, playing in the waves is fine as long as there is a measure of ability to control how much interaction with the ocean they have... even if it is really only an illusion.
5. The body surfer, they are truly abandoned in the ocean. They are rolling in the waves, ignoring potential dangers, and completely at the mercy of the ocean. The waves, tides, and sheer force of the water create an exhilarating feeling of adventure, joy, and play.
This Christian is all about Christ, wherever He leads, whatever they are called and moved towards, they go. This is the "here I am, send me" person. Not to say their ride is easy.. because let's be honest, playing in the waves can be incredibly dangerous, but they don't care because they are out of control.
I think once you have been out further, coming back seems less and less appealing, although I think if we are out in the waves playing, we will have moments where we waffle between the measured bit of control we feel like we have playing where we can still touch, and then finding the courage to play completely out in the waves again.
I think once you have been out further, coming back seems less and less appealing, although I think if we are out in the waves playing, we will have moments where we waffle between the measured bit of control we feel like we have playing where we can still touch, and then finding the courage to play completely out in the waves again.
So, in this metaphor, God is like the Ocean, how we enter the Ocean says a lot about who we are, and who we want to be in Christ.
Aug 24, 2011
The Help...
Last night I went with a couple of my friends to see the new movie The Help (the book is by Kathryn Stockett). The movie was much better than I was expecting, and had a different cadence to the movie than is typical. Instead of one climax, the movie was a series of minor ones, which gave it a definite feel that it was a book instead of a movie.
Instead of ruin it for you, I thought I would just comment on the fact that while the story is essentially fiction, it highlights some very real facts about how life "used to be" and what was seen as "normal" yet really was insulting, degrading, and embarrassing.
But, overall the movie is very endearing, touching, inspiring, and entertaining. I am really glad it is doing well in the theaters!
Instead of ruin it for you, I thought I would just comment on the fact that while the story is essentially fiction, it highlights some very real facts about how life "used to be" and what was seen as "normal" yet really was insulting, degrading, and embarrassing.
But, overall the movie is very endearing, touching, inspiring, and entertaining. I am really glad it is doing well in the theaters!
Aug 23, 2011
DC Earthquake...
After "surviving" the earthquake at work, we evacuated the building and then were sent home..
I came home to this destruction in my room...
A necklace fell.
A necklace fell.
Modesty Talks...
One of my brother's friends posted the article Is Modest Really Hottest? from Relevant Magazine and basically asked for comments and thoughts. It sparked quite an interesting discussion, but true to form, I have more to say than what will fit on a facebook wall comment box.
So, I thought I would expound on my thoughts here.
First, let me start with, Matthew Paul Turner the author of the article did one of the better jobs that I have ever seen in terms of addressing the spirit of the debate, and highlighting an area or two that are inherently flawed in the modesty debate as it stands in the Christian culture right now. When I first clicked the link I was already mentally preparing to be frustrated with what the article was about to tell me, and I was gearing up my arguments and defenses about what is wrong with the current state of the debate about modesty. However, surprisingly (and thankfully) I found none of the typical answers or comments I was expecting. I was impressed (and humbled) by the lack of finger pointing to the female population; which I am fairly certain is a first for me in regards to the modesty discussion.. or debate.. or argument to date.
At this point, I am going to divert my thoughts from the article itself to the discussion about modesty as a whole. I see some serious flaws with the debate as it stands right now. I am fairly certain I have heard all of the reasons and debates behind "modest is hottest" and as a general rule I agree, but I vehemently disagree with the way in which it is expected to be carried out by the female population. Let us just start with some logic in this debate...
Since I am a Christian single woman who would like to some day get married... let's say I decide I am going to do everything possible to help my Christian "brothers" out in the lust department. I think this is a noble thing, but the problem is which brother am I helping?.. The one that is my elder? The new Christian brother that is still trying to disentangle himself from his past? The non-Christian but seeking brother? The solid brother who is married but easily distractable from his wife? The brother who is a solid Christian and single?.. And, my overarching question, "How do I know if I have succeeded?" Who will tell me when I have done a good job or failed with an outfit? Am I really subject every single day to other men's ideas of whether I am successfully modest? Which man's opinion do I pay attention to? So, you see, before I even getting into the culture or region element of the debate, I already am having problems defining who my target audience is and the litmus test by which I will know success. The inherent problem with "helping my Christian brother" is each man has a dramatically different perspective of what modest is!
How does region and culture play a role? It is a fairly well known fact that the further south (or closer to the Equator) you get the less clothing is worn. Purely from a practical standpoint, it is just too hot in Florida to wear the same clothing that is a necessity in Alaska. And, from an economical stand point, standard clothing in the US (say bras for example) are not seen in the African countries (Ghana, Swaziland, and South Africa) I have been to. So, I am sure an argument can be made with the "when in Rome...." perspective, but the problem is, that still leaves modesty in the eye of the beholder.. region.. culture.. etc.. A never ending moving target dictated by an ambiguous definition.
However, each of these two vantage points removes responsibility from both players. Men are removed because they have no accountability in their own actions in regards to women and modesty. But, women are removed because it turns into what they should or should not do based off of a moving target. Neither perspective takes the heart into account at all; which is really where my trouble with the modesty debate as it stands right now lies.
No female will ever be able to be completely modest. Ever. Which means, we have been set up to fail.. and our hearts are keenly aware of this fact. Deep down we know that our moving ambiguous target of being "modest" to help our "brothers in Christ" is a battle we are doomed to fail because, men cannot even agree on what is modest.. or hottest. Some men are attracted to hair, eyes, legs, butts, chests, stomachs or some combination there in. So, the debate quickly becomes an "in the eye of the beholder" debate over personal preference.
Basically women can wear a mu-mu and still be found attractive.
One of the things that I appreciated the most about the article is it points out how one sided the debate has been to date. Men are essentially free from responsibility. Thank you Matthew Paul Turner for finally pointing out this flaw.
I would like to point out that it is incredibly disturbing from a woman's perspective that we are held to the standards of each individual man, most of which we have little or no contact with ever. How can I possibly be held to the standards of a man I may never interact with? That is not biblical at all. In fact, I think now is a perfect time to loop the Bible into this debate...
"The LORD saw how great the wickedness of the human race had become on the earth, and that every inclination of the thoughts of the human heart was only evil all the time." - Genesis 6:5 - We cannot do it alone, our only hope is the grace and mercy of Jesus Christ.
" Tremble and do not sin; when you are on your beds, search your hearts and be silent." - Psalm 4:4 - How is that for an action item of what to do when you lust?!
"Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. Keep your mouth free of perversity; keep corrupt talk far from your lips. Let your eyes look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly before you. Give careful thought to the paths for your feet and be steadfast in all your ways. Do not turn to the right or the left; keep your foot from evil" - Proverbs 4:23-27 - Again, this requires each person to take responsibility for their own actions.. including lust.
Talk about loving your neighbor in regards to the way modesty is approached:
"Anxiety weighs down the heart, but a kind word cheers it up." - Proverbs 12:25
And finally, "My goal is that they may be encouraged in heart and united in love, so that they may have the full riches of complete understanding, in order that they may know the mystery of God, namely, Christ, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge." - Colossians 2:2-3
I cannot find anywhere in the Bible where our hearts and actions are held against someone else for the role they unknowing played in our struggle. The Bible is full of taking responsibility for our own actions. We will stand before the Lord for our OWN heart's intent, and if we believe Christ, He will as He has already done, take our sin on Himself and pay the price. We cannot blame someone else for our own heart and eyes lusting or struggling.
Modesty is a two part dance, each partner has their role to play. Girls (I) must check the heart's intentions, actions, and reactions. That is our role in the dance.
Guys must do the same, but it is crucial to point out, girls are not involved in the guy's role, we cannot do it for them, and we are not held responsible for their part of the dance; and vice verse.
The entire issue of modesty is just like every other element of life, it is between each individual and Christ.
So, I thought I would expound on my thoughts here.
First, let me start with, Matthew Paul Turner the author of the article did one of the better jobs that I have ever seen in terms of addressing the spirit of the debate, and highlighting an area or two that are inherently flawed in the modesty debate as it stands in the Christian culture right now. When I first clicked the link I was already mentally preparing to be frustrated with what the article was about to tell me, and I was gearing up my arguments and defenses about what is wrong with the current state of the debate about modesty. However, surprisingly (and thankfully) I found none of the typical answers or comments I was expecting. I was impressed (and humbled) by the lack of finger pointing to the female population; which I am fairly certain is a first for me in regards to the modesty discussion.. or debate.. or argument to date.
At this point, I am going to divert my thoughts from the article itself to the discussion about modesty as a whole. I see some serious flaws with the debate as it stands right now. I am fairly certain I have heard all of the reasons and debates behind "modest is hottest" and as a general rule I agree, but I vehemently disagree with the way in which it is expected to be carried out by the female population. Let us just start with some logic in this debate...
Since I am a Christian single woman who would like to some day get married... let's say I decide I am going to do everything possible to help my Christian "brothers" out in the lust department. I think this is a noble thing, but the problem is which brother am I helping?.. The one that is my elder? The new Christian brother that is still trying to disentangle himself from his past? The non-Christian but seeking brother? The solid brother who is married but easily distractable from his wife? The brother who is a solid Christian and single?.. And, my overarching question, "How do I know if I have succeeded?" Who will tell me when I have done a good job or failed with an outfit? Am I really subject every single day to other men's ideas of whether I am successfully modest? Which man's opinion do I pay attention to? So, you see, before I even getting into the culture or region element of the debate, I already am having problems defining who my target audience is and the litmus test by which I will know success. The inherent problem with "helping my Christian brother" is each man has a dramatically different perspective of what modest is!
How does region and culture play a role? It is a fairly well known fact that the further south (or closer to the Equator) you get the less clothing is worn. Purely from a practical standpoint, it is just too hot in Florida to wear the same clothing that is a necessity in Alaska. And, from an economical stand point, standard clothing in the US (say bras for example) are not seen in the African countries (Ghana, Swaziland, and South Africa) I have been to. So, I am sure an argument can be made with the "when in Rome...." perspective, but the problem is, that still leaves modesty in the eye of the beholder.. region.. culture.. etc.. A never ending moving target dictated by an ambiguous definition.
However, each of these two vantage points removes responsibility from both players. Men are removed because they have no accountability in their own actions in regards to women and modesty. But, women are removed because it turns into what they should or should not do based off of a moving target. Neither perspective takes the heart into account at all; which is really where my trouble with the modesty debate as it stands right now lies.
No female will ever be able to be completely modest. Ever. Which means, we have been set up to fail.. and our hearts are keenly aware of this fact. Deep down we know that our moving ambiguous target of being "modest" to help our "brothers in Christ" is a battle we are doomed to fail because, men cannot even agree on what is modest.. or hottest. Some men are attracted to hair, eyes, legs, butts, chests, stomachs or some combination there in. So, the debate quickly becomes an "in the eye of the beholder" debate over personal preference.
Basically women can wear a mu-mu and still be found attractive.
One of the things that I appreciated the most about the article is it points out how one sided the debate has been to date. Men are essentially free from responsibility. Thank you Matthew Paul Turner for finally pointing out this flaw.
I would like to point out that it is incredibly disturbing from a woman's perspective that we are held to the standards of each individual man, most of which we have little or no contact with ever. How can I possibly be held to the standards of a man I may never interact with? That is not biblical at all. In fact, I think now is a perfect time to loop the Bible into this debate...
"The LORD saw how great the wickedness of the human race had become on the earth, and that every inclination of the thoughts of the human heart was only evil all the time." - Genesis 6:5 - We cannot do it alone, our only hope is the grace and mercy of Jesus Christ.
" Tremble and do not sin; when you are on your beds, search your hearts and be silent." - Psalm 4:4 - How is that for an action item of what to do when you lust?!
"Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. Keep your mouth free of perversity; keep corrupt talk far from your lips. Let your eyes look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly before you. Give careful thought to the paths for your feet and be steadfast in all your ways. Do not turn to the right or the left; keep your foot from evil" - Proverbs 4:23-27 - Again, this requires each person to take responsibility for their own actions.. including lust.
Talk about loving your neighbor in regards to the way modesty is approached:
"Anxiety weighs down the heart, but a kind word cheers it up." - Proverbs 12:25
And finally, "My goal is that they may be encouraged in heart and united in love, so that they may have the full riches of complete understanding, in order that they may know the mystery of God, namely, Christ, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge." - Colossians 2:2-3
I cannot find anywhere in the Bible where our hearts and actions are held against someone else for the role they unknowing played in our struggle. The Bible is full of taking responsibility for our own actions. We will stand before the Lord for our OWN heart's intent, and if we believe Christ, He will as He has already done, take our sin on Himself and pay the price. We cannot blame someone else for our own heart and eyes lusting or struggling.
The entire modesty debate is
really a way of diverting our own responsibility by pointing to someone else
and demanding they take responsibility because of
our own rights to wear what we want
or our struggles to look away...
Modesty is a two part dance, each partner has their role to play. Girls (I) must check the heart's intentions, actions, and reactions. That is our role in the dance.
Guys must do the same, but it is crucial to point out, girls are not involved in the guy's role, we cannot do it for them, and we are not held responsible for their part of the dance; and vice verse.
The entire issue of modesty is just like every other element of life, it is between each individual and Christ.
Aug 22, 2011
Kick Starting Fall...
I have been SO LAZY the last couple weeks. I mean legit lazy when it comes to doing things and getting things done.
Last night I realized my room is a disaster.. Which somehow means my mind has come out of whatever funk it was in. My room is always a direct link to my mental capacity/state. Meaning, the cleaner more organized room means a better more on top of it mental state.. and it somehow spirals downward on a semi regular basis as I get overwhelmed, depressed, frustrated, and tired.
So, in an attempt to get myself back on track this week, I have started but need to finish my laundry (I really hate this task), and actually put away my clothes instead of leave them on the other half of the bed I do not occupy. I need to clean up and put away the empty suitcases, boxes, and packages that have accumulated in the corners of my room. File the bills, and check all of the bills I need to still pay for this month and next.. put away my jewelry that has been strewn all over my shelving spaces...
I think I will re-arrange my room as well soon seeing as I have not done that at all this year, and sometimes a small change like that makes a huge difference in my life.
I have a ton of homework that needs to get done this week, not difficult, but time consuming.
And, due to all of this, my need to exercise that I have been putting off for 2 months will kick start in September in preparation for my Marine Corps 10k October 31st!
So, here's to kick starting the fall!
Last night I realized my room is a disaster.. Which somehow means my mind has come out of whatever funk it was in. My room is always a direct link to my mental capacity/state. Meaning, the cleaner more organized room means a better more on top of it mental state.. and it somehow spirals downward on a semi regular basis as I get overwhelmed, depressed, frustrated, and tired.
So, in an attempt to get myself back on track this week, I have started but need to finish my laundry (I really hate this task), and actually put away my clothes instead of leave them on the other half of the bed I do not occupy. I need to clean up and put away the empty suitcases, boxes, and packages that have accumulated in the corners of my room. File the bills, and check all of the bills I need to still pay for this month and next.. put away my jewelry that has been strewn all over my shelving spaces...
I think I will re-arrange my room as well soon seeing as I have not done that at all this year, and sometimes a small change like that makes a huge difference in my life.
I have a ton of homework that needs to get done this week, not difficult, but time consuming.
And, due to all of this, my need to exercise that I have been putting off for 2 months will kick start in September in preparation for my Marine Corps 10k October 31st!
So, here's to kick starting the fall!
Aug 21, 2011
Out of the Blue...
There are days that I am pretty sure my exclusive purpose is to make it through the day as unscathed as possible... Then sometimes there are weeks, months, and years like that... I am somewhere in that mix.
I had a conversation tonight that was among some of the more weird and frustrating than I have had in a while... A "friend" I spent a while chatting with on facebook or text suddenly stopped talking to me. While I was curious, I honestly did not pursue it because it was clear that I was not wanted around. The couple times I reached out I was met with very little response and a very short answers, so I took the hint that my expiration date had worn off, and I was not wanted.
I went somewhere in the vicinity of 6weeks to 2 months without hearing from them. No big deal, and I really did not think of it much.
Out of the blue tonight I got a fb chat from this person. It started out just general chatting, asking me if I would come see them where they are working, and then when I pressed the fact that I had not heard from them in a while... along with the fact that I just assumed they had moved on, it quickly progressed into essentially attacking me for my cockiness in regards to my martial arts. It was an interesting conversation because these decisions about my cockiness were based exclusively off of text conversations, at no time was any of it face to face or even on the phone... (Let me pause here and say, text can be awesome.. but it is not a good way to understand the feelings and reasoning behind a lot of things people say. Too much is missed purely built into the nature of text communication.)
After a while of this, and it being apparent my explanations were not working I just apologized for the misunderstanding, and for the times that I know I am being cocky and just let them go until they were done, and decided they had enough, and then they bid me a good night and left.
..... uhm. Ok.
Not really sure what possessed this... interesting conversation, but it just leaves me with a very bitter taste in my mouth, and feeling beat up for no good reason.
Fantastic way to end a weekend that I worked most of it and begin the next work week.
People never cease to amaze me with their desires to share their thoughts about people and their situations without understanding all of it or even acknowledging there is probably more to the story. It is one thing to share your thoughts about a situation with the intent and heart to be of actual benefit to the person. A "tough love" conversation is always welcome... But, sharing your opinion about someone with really the only intent of walking away feeling you have somehow made your point known is not helpful to either party.
I get that I am a stronger person than most and can "handle" being trashed.. but seriously, I have no desire to be the stronger person when your only point is to hurt me so you feel better and justified.
So, now I walk away with the intent of forgiving and letting it go... regardless of how I feel about the situation.
Thank you.
I had a conversation tonight that was among some of the more weird and frustrating than I have had in a while... A "friend" I spent a while chatting with on facebook or text suddenly stopped talking to me. While I was curious, I honestly did not pursue it because it was clear that I was not wanted around. The couple times I reached out I was met with very little response and a very short answers, so I took the hint that my expiration date had worn off, and I was not wanted.
I went somewhere in the vicinity of 6weeks to 2 months without hearing from them. No big deal, and I really did not think of it much.
Out of the blue tonight I got a fb chat from this person. It started out just general chatting, asking me if I would come see them where they are working, and then when I pressed the fact that I had not heard from them in a while... along with the fact that I just assumed they had moved on, it quickly progressed into essentially attacking me for my cockiness in regards to my martial arts. It was an interesting conversation because these decisions about my cockiness were based exclusively off of text conversations, at no time was any of it face to face or even on the phone... (Let me pause here and say, text can be awesome.. but it is not a good way to understand the feelings and reasoning behind a lot of things people say. Too much is missed purely built into the nature of text communication.)
After a while of this, and it being apparent my explanations were not working I just apologized for the misunderstanding, and for the times that I know I am being cocky and just let them go until they were done, and decided they had enough, and then they bid me a good night and left.
..... uhm. Ok.
Not really sure what possessed this... interesting conversation, but it just leaves me with a very bitter taste in my mouth, and feeling beat up for no good reason.
Fantastic way to end a weekend that I worked most of it and begin the next work week.
People never cease to amaze me with their desires to share their thoughts about people and their situations without understanding all of it or even acknowledging there is probably more to the story. It is one thing to share your thoughts about a situation with the intent and heart to be of actual benefit to the person. A "tough love" conversation is always welcome... But, sharing your opinion about someone with really the only intent of walking away feeling you have somehow made your point known is not helpful to either party.
I get that I am a stronger person than most and can "handle" being trashed.. but seriously, I have no desire to be the stronger person when your only point is to hurt me so you feel better and justified.
So, now I walk away with the intent of forgiving and letting it go... regardless of how I feel about the situation.
Thank you.
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