Yesterday was mass chaos day at work. We had meetings galore and an awards ceremony that lasts roughly 3-4 hours. Plus, we hired our new Executive Director who officially started today... And, praise Jesus it was the one I liked because when he came for his in-person interview he talked TO me instead of at me. So, while life is still chaotic and uncertain in regards to work... Jesus has put a man in place to lead us that I can respect and know that regardless of what happens he has the best in mind and will work hard to do what is right. I appreciate knowing that... even if I have no idea what that means in a practical sense.
Life has begun to take a turn for hinting that the dust and chaos of the last 6 months will begin to settle. Recently I have had to schedule time with various friends a couple weeks out knowing that I would be insanely busy or too tired to be much fun.. But, while life never really slows down for me, I am discovering my need... AND desire for relaxing "do nothing" time. haha Does this mean I have become an actual adult now?! So, in an attempt to make everyone happy I have been thinking a lot recently about what it looks like for ME to take time to relax, because lets be honest, I do not need alone time like other people... and usually being in the same room not talking counts as alone time for me haha Yet, at the same time I do not want to become lax in caring for those around me... for pouring into their lives in whatever way that I can. I have just begun to realize how there truly is a time for everything... and sometimes it is not convenient nor easy, but it is always essential.
This past week it has become so crystal clear to me how blessed I am to have my friends. I would not have made it through the last couple weeks without these amazing people.. some of them just texting to say they were thinking of me and they love me. I am blown away by how selfless their love for me is.. and how much they stick by me even when I am being a spaz about stupid things or when I have been so stressed out that I just pulled away and shut down to function... The ways several of my friends reached out to me was just wonderful and such a wonderful reminder of how much I am truly loved and cared for. Not to mention all the practical things my friends have done for me... And, I do not know how much I convey this.. but I am a huge fan of practical... I love when things make sense and avoid any needlessness. Haha.. which I realize can sometimes shoot me in the foot when someone is trying to do something so incredibly nice for me and I cannot see the purpose because of its lack of practicality. (whoopsie!) But, I also am a huge fan of hugs.. of which I have been getting a lot lately, and lets be honest, it just makes life better :)
Another friend told me today they had overheard a conversation about me where the people talking were commenting on how pretty much everything I do is for those around me.. whether driving an insane amount or going out of my way to do something or spend time with someone. When my friend told me that, I had to fight my instinctive reaction to explain away all my reasonings and thoughts behind my actions. Then I realized, none of that mattered. What did matter was that the very thing God laid on my heart YEARS ago, to truly, honestly, practically (and impractically) love people for His glory, this is an example of me having done it right for once!.... How awesome is that?... *big sigh of relief!*
My God is awesome. If you do not know Jesus, you should.. it is a crazy roller coaster, but totally worth it all, and unlike anything else you will ever experience. I promise.