I realized again today as I was talking to one of "my kids" from back home... We live in such a crappy world. Our world is broken and full of terrible things that were never meant to be a part of who we are or our understanding.
I have been faced with so much of it recently and all I can think is "This. Is. Awful." not in a judgmental way, but in a realistic understanding that God never intended this to be in our lives when He created us. We were not supposed to have knowledge of Good and Evil... I was never supposed to know how much it hurts to watch someone you care about suffer and struggle through things. I was never supposed to understand pain so deep in my heart that nothing can express it. I was never supposed to know what it feels like to be helpless as someone walks through the steps of healing.... I was never supposed to know these things. I was never supposed to experience these things. Our world is terrible and it breaks my heart every time I am faced with these types of situations.
If I could I would take the pain and frustration and trials of those around me... But, I was never meant to be our savior. I am not, nor do I want to be Jesus... But, I hate feeling helpless when those around me are suffering and hurting. The only thing I have to offer is to listen and pray, and I try my best to do both. But, even still I do not feel like that is enough.. I always walk away wishing I could do more... and that is usually what drives me to prayer.
I wish I could do more to help those around me and make a difference in the lives of the people I touch..