I realized again today as I was talking to one of "my kids" from back home... We live in such a crappy world. Our world is broken and full of terrible things that were never meant to be a part of who we are or our understanding.
I have been faced with so much of it recently and all I can think is "This. Is. Awful." not in a judgmental way, but in a realistic understanding that God never intended this to be in our lives when He created us. We were not supposed to have knowledge of Good and Evil... I was never supposed to know how much it hurts to watch someone you care about suffer and struggle through things. I was never supposed to understand pain so deep in my heart that nothing can express it. I was never supposed to know what it feels like to be helpless as someone walks through the steps of healing.... I was never supposed to know these things. I was never supposed to experience these things. Our world is terrible and it breaks my heart every time I am faced with these types of situations.
If I could I would take the pain and frustration and trials of those around me... But, I was never meant to be our savior. I am not, nor do I want to be Jesus... But, I hate feeling helpless when those around me are suffering and hurting. The only thing I have to offer is to listen and pray, and I try my best to do both. But, even still I do not feel like that is enough.. I always walk away wishing I could do more... and that is usually what drives me to prayer.
I wish I could do more to help those around me and make a difference in the lives of the people I touch..
1 comment:
Krista, you may not be able to make a difference in EVERY life you touch, or be able to SEE the difference you make. BUT, I can promise you that there are many lives that you have come in contact to that have been changed because of you. You are undoubtedly one of thee most amazing women I have ever met, and if there was ever a great time to brag about anybody but Jesus, I'd brag about how I know Krista Back :]
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