So, I had planned on going to Ghana again in January. Returning to the place and the people where God touched and moved me more in 10 days than I can remember at any other time in my life...
And then, Pastor asked us not to come because they were not ready for us. So, my counterpart and I began praying and looking at other places and opportunities we would have around the world. I mean the options are limitless.. we literally could go ANYWHERE!... We began pursuing two options, one to the Sudan, and one to Columbia. Both seemed viable, and would work perfectly with our schedules and budget.
The problem is, both of us feel like God is saying wait.
I hate that answer. We had half our money raised in two weeks! It was going to be an absolutely amazing time, and I was seriously ready to go do something after the longest stint without traveling abroad in more than 3 years... *sigh*
To say that I am not bummed would be the understatement of the year. I really wanted to go, and if not to Ghana.. then somewhere. Somewhere that I could see something new, meet new people, not understand what is being said, encounter a new culture, and see Jesus in the faces of each child's wonder and amazement at seeing someone clearly foreign. I was getting excited for the sights I would see, and the games I would play, and the pictures I would take.
I was getting excited that I would have the chance to feel like I was dancing again.
I was getting excited to feel beautiful and wonderful before my creator again.
*sigh* So, here I sit.. waiting. Bummed that I was told to wait, but honestly feeling like regardless, I do not have any other option. Faithful, that is what I will be, no matter how difficult it feels inside. Listening to what I am told regardless of what I want. I dislike it, but God does not ask me to like it, He asks me to follow and trust Him...
So, this is me following and trusting my Savior, who knows infinitely more than I do, and understands and can see where He is leading me. It is not exactly like I would have any idea what I was doing on my own anyway... and lets be honest, this is not the only area of my life God has asked me to be patient and wait for Him and His timing. I learned to "go until God says no." Well, God said no.. so I do not go. That simple.
But, still dang. *big sigh* ok, enough bemoaning. Life moves on, and I will be ok, this will prove to be perfectly played out in the end.
I trust my Savior, even when I do not understand why.