My Jeans...

So, this weekend was.. interesting. I went to The Revolve Tour in Greensboro, NC with 22 of my teen girls and 4 ladies I work with. It was.. interesting. The concerts were entertaining enough.. but, essentially like every other concert I've ever been to. The speakers were decent, aimed definitely at teen girls.. But, one was so good.. Chad Eastham. He spoke on "Guys like girls who..." It was interesting and entertaining all at the same time!

He started with:
Guys like girls who... are born. And as he put it "congratulations for accomplishing the hardest task." .... HAHA! I cracked up at this comment.

Then, Guys like girls. "That's it period. Guys just like girls."... haha also cracked up at this one!

All hysterical explanations, he definitely has a way of putting things in an extremely comical manner :) I was impressed at his ability to connect in such a short amount of time. My girls LOVED him and of course had to have pictures and get autographs with him.. I was just thrilled that he was able to connect with them...

But, his one example was, "Guys like girls who are comfortable in their own jeans." That really got me thinking.. Am I comfortable in my own jeans? You see, he wasn't talking about the blue cotton-nothing like the perfect fitting- incredibly old- torn jeans I wear every day, he was talking about girls who are comfortable in their own skin. Comfortable with who they are.. LIKE who they are...

His point was that guys like comfort.. they like being comfortable and they like being around people who are comfortable...

He talked about this girl he liked, and how he would go to all these great lengths to just be in the same room with her... He also talked about another girl who everything he is today and things he has done today he can trace back to this one girl in his math class who was simply being herself and reaching out to him when he had first come back from rehab and was trying to figure out who he was without drugs... He said she asked him NORMAL questions.. but the bottom line was she was comfortable, enjoyable, and was genuinely interested in what he had to say. She introduced him to other people, became friends with him, but mostly it was just the fact that she was outgoing and completely comfortable with who she was that made such an impact in his life.

I have always wanted to be that girl, the one who makes a difference simply by being in the room. The girl who makes others feel important because she asked how you are... and then CARED to hear the answer.

So, then the question is, am I comfortable in my own skin? Do I like who I am? Do I like being me? The simple quick answer... Yes. I thought about it over and over all day yesterday, I thought about how I interact with people, my passions, my relationships, my thinking, who I was and the things I've struggled with.. And, I like who I am (granted I can see millions of flaws, and my sin, and things I wish I could do better, times I screwed up etc..etc..) but.. I like who I am.

Chad talked about the idea that girls who don't like themselves become a burden on others because the more you're around someone like that the more you assimilate those feelings/thoughts.. it just sorta rubs off on you. He said it is natural to feel drawn to the people who like who they are, and are just comfortable with who they are... because that type of person begins to make YOU feel more like that. It's so funny to me, because I feel like all of these things my mom and dad told me years ago that I just sorta laughed at them and took it flippantly.. (dang it I'm a retard lol) all of those things were so accurate. I can hear all the times Mom and Dad would tell me how I project confidence in myself, and how they could see it affecting other people. I would just sorta laugh cause I was completely blind to my influence on other people, I just thought everyone had that affect, which meant it wasn't special.

But, the more I push towards God and the more I intentionally get in his face... the more I am starting to see myself through his eyes too.. I am beginning to realize the affect I'm having on people.. and it's cool.. scary because it also means it can be negative.. but it's cool because I can look at who I was years ago.. a few months ago.. and I can see growth.. Which is incredibly exciting! I love the fact that today I am more like the people I admired in high school than I thought I would be. I like the fact that I can make people feel important.. I like the fact that friends laugh at me when I call them and ask first how they are doing... Or when I go out of my way to help someone, do something nice, or just check in with them.. I like the reaction I get.. because it's like looking and seeing the physically reaction to love.. It's pretty cool :)

So, guys like girls who are comfortable in their jeans... hmm.. That statement makes me kinda laugh for a couple reasons.. one because he had a funny story to go along with it.. and two because I'm still single and ok with that.. which is an example of loving my jeans. I mean granted I have moments when all I can think is "what the heck is wrong with me?!" especially when I get that extremely condescending "you just need a special guy..."... Not helpful. But, aside from those moments.. I am content. I like the "freedom" and independence that comes from not having a relationship... Some day I want it, and some day I will have it.. But, today is not that day because I have other things I have to do, other things I have to focus on, and other people to pour my time and energy into.

Now, understand me.. When I say I am happy with who I am, and content and comfortable in my own skin, I am in NO way saying that I feel I've "arrived" and have accomplished my goal in who I am.. haha not even close.. I can point to things DAILY.. sometimes hourly that I wish I was better at or different in areas.. But, in general I have begun to realize that I have been made in the image of God.. I am not perfect, but have been given talents, tasks, and abilities that I LIKE, and that He wants me to fulfill... So.. who am I, that I can tell Him "No, you're stupid and wrong" ... So, while I can see all the areas I have to improve, I've begun to realize I can't do it overnight.. it only makes sense that I would be comfortable with who I am, but acknowledge the improvements I need to make as they come.. or at least be comfortable and enjoy my jeans since they fit me perfectly.. great length, perfect waist, comfortable style.. just with some needs for patches where I have worn holes in them from my stupidity and stubbornness..

I think being comfortable will allow me to be more easily moldable because I will stop trying to be everyone else and focus on being me, who I am supposed to be..

So, I smile because I am comfortable and like wearing jeans. :)