Jul 22, 2009

Redirection...

Redirection... It is a super easy concept to grasp, instead of stopping and then turning to continue the motion, you simply continue the same motion at the same rate at which it travels, just with a slightly new path... Redirectional throws and blocks tend to be my favorite in the martial arts, because they require timing, flow, grace, and not nearly the strength of stopping whatever is coming towards you. It simply takes their force and momentum, and sends it wherever you want it to go instead of where the original intended path it was going.

So, redirection. That's what I choose right now. I am so beyond overwhelmed with so many things in life.. I physically was feeling it throughout my entire body yesterday, and only marginally less today. I felt it in my thinking pattern, my stomach felt like I had an ulcer, my mind was not working at it's normal pace, I was tired, and I was having difficulty seeing any breaking of light that signals dawn is coming and the night is almost over... And then, today I felt and heard still small whispers beginning to speak to me... No, I don't mean I am crazy and actually hearing small whispers, I mean God spoke to me in the quiet, in someone's laughter, in a hug, coffee, breaks, questions, comments, a song, dinner, walks, runs, soreness.. literally ALL over the place I heard Him talking to my heart.

This morning I woke up insanely early to go running again with Brit.. Man was it hard. I was tired, did not feel like walking, much less running, and I was sore.. and to top it all off.. I was STILL stressed, nothing had been solved. But, we ran. Further than we have so far with less effort than we have so far. Hurray!... We got to talk and laugh, and pray to our Savior together. Then, we had set up a date with the roomies to have 6:45am coffee. Which, we all sat on the porch drinking coffee crazy early and just laughed and were friends. We all finished getting ready for work and whatever plans we had for the day... Mine solely had work's quarterly magazine as the agenda item. I headed to my coffee office and proceeded to sit for almost nine straight hours slowly working on the task of making the quarterly magazine.

As I worked throughout the day, I was able to watch God work on my heart. I was able to feel Him slowly peel away the layers of stress, and replace them with a sense of peace and security. Unexpected, people popped in to chat and laugh with me, others out of the blue stopped what they were doing to make sure I was ok, some randomly told me they felt lead to pray for me... and still others went out of their way to do what they could to help with various situations...

I listened to my Ipod all day to help me focus.. or rather keep me from hearing and focusing elsewhere... I set it to a different play list than I normally do, and this was one of the first couple songs to play: "The cross before me the world behind
No turning back, raise the banner high
It's not for me, it's all for You

Let the heavens shake and split the sky
Let the people clap their hands and cry
It's not for us, it's all for You

[Chorus:]
Not to us, but to Your Name be the glory
Not to us, but to Your Name be the glory

Our hearts unfold before Your throne
The only place for those who know
It's not for us, It's all for You

Send Your holy fire on this offering
Let our worship burn for the world to see
It's not for us, It's all for You

[Chorus]

The earth is shaking, the mountains shouting
It's all for You
The waves are crashing, the sun is raging
It's all for You
The universe spinning and singing
It's all for You
The children dancing, dancing, dancing
It's all for You, It's all for You

My all for You
Not to us, but to Your Name be the glory
My all for You
Not to us, but to Your Name be the glory
My all for You
Not to us, but to Your Name be the glory"

I listened to that song over and over remembering that regardless it's all about God's glory... Redirection.

Am I still stressed? Yeah, things went insanely slower than I anticipated with more issues than I had planned on having... And then, my mom called to say she loves me and to make sure I knew I am missed and important to her, my dad called to see if I needed help with a problem, my roomie and I went out for a fantastic dinner at a new restaurant and then for a walk filled with a wonderful heart to heart conversation... Redirection.

But, what makes this all different is today I kept seeing over and over in every friend and conversation...

"I love you, it will be ok."

*Sigh* ok regardless of what I think, feel, face, anticipate, want, or am angry about... I am loved, cherished, beautiful, and protected by my Savior. Redirection.

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