Life is just hard. There is no explanation, not rhyme or reason, and nothing seems to make it better. Life is painful and full of sorrow.
Recently I have been exposed to some incredibly painful situations that do not actually involve me at all, but involve those that I love dearly. I have been faced with these incredible women who are full of life, energy, laughter, and care.. and in almost no time at all they have been torn down, demolished, and broken into these dripping with pain girls... And, to be totally honest, it was men who should have done nothing but protect and love them. How much it just tears at my heart to watch life be so cruel.. I. Hate. Satan. And, I mean that.. to watch how he deceives men into destroying women. Both being incredible and wonderful creations of God... I hate how easy it is for men to tear us down, to abuse us, and destroy and wield power over us they were never intended to have.
My heart hurts for these women in my life. Every time I remember them the pain comes and it almost takes my breath away it hurts so bad... and that's my ever present reminder to pray for them... I was informed by one of my friends that I have "potent" prayers... So, by golly I'll pray til I am blue and my knees are torn up!.. which really means my 3x5 bathroom mirror card is getting filled quickly at this point. *sigh*
My God is ever faithful. He does in fact make things better. He is ready to save, and He will... Just ask Him to sweep you away... Please pray for my friends... Please.
Nov 22, 2010
Nov 14, 2010
Glimpses of Life...
Here are a few pictures from this weekend.. One of my best friends came up to visit and we celebrated her birthday with randomness all weekend long.. plus lots and lots of pictures :) We had fun.
This is the place that is now my life... (didn't take all of these.. half of them were taken by my friend :)
One of many cool memorials:
A fantastic sunset... and an official national building of some sort...
Same sunset.
The White House... aka my house...... JK! ;)
The Metro... A transportation that is unpredictable but often cheaper..
Walking... Lots of walking, LOVE IT! (I'm the all dark one haha)
My friend took this.. I really like this picture for some reason.. :)
Every time I turned around during our exploring she was taking more pictures! haha
Us visiting the Einstein memorial, it was pretty cool!
Albert Einstein's memorial... you can't tell in this picture, but there are metal buttons on the ground... They represent constellations! It was awesome.
Taking a break mid 45-mile walk.. lol
Resting in one of the parks... I love parks in the middle of a busy city.
My life is markedly different then I would have expected a year ago... even a couple months ago. But, I am loving the adventure that is coming my way, the unknown excites me more than it scares me at this point, and since I am totally blind to what is coming, it is forcing me to take everything in stride and open my eyes to the beauty and challenges that are around me. I am learning to delight in the challenges. I am learning to take in differences and recognize them as exactly that, a difference that has more to do with preference, and less to do with right or wrong. I am learning all over again and in new ways how to grow gracefully. I am learning about new cultures, and loving it. I am looking around me and seeing a Savior God lacking in so many people's lives, and it hurts my heart all over again. I am being reminded daily it is not my job to take offenses that are meant towards God, it is my job to love in a very real way. I am learning that in new places with new people, there are different battles to choose... and they are markedly different then other places and with other people... I am welcoming it.
Lord, my love, be here. Guide me.
This is the place that is now my life... (didn't take all of these.. half of them were taken by my friend :)
One of many cool memorials:
A fantastic sunset... and an official national building of some sort...
Same sunset.
The White House... aka my house...... JK! ;)
The Metro... A transportation that is unpredictable but often cheaper..
Walking... Lots of walking, LOVE IT! (I'm the all dark one haha)
My friend took this.. I really like this picture for some reason.. :)
Every time I turned around during our exploring she was taking more pictures! haha
Us visiting the Einstein memorial, it was pretty cool!
Albert Einstein's memorial... you can't tell in this picture, but there are metal buttons on the ground... They represent constellations! It was awesome.
Taking a break mid 45-mile walk.. lol
Resting in one of the parks... I love parks in the middle of a busy city.
My life is markedly different then I would have expected a year ago... even a couple months ago. But, I am loving the adventure that is coming my way, the unknown excites me more than it scares me at this point, and since I am totally blind to what is coming, it is forcing me to take everything in stride and open my eyes to the beauty and challenges that are around me. I am learning to delight in the challenges. I am learning to take in differences and recognize them as exactly that, a difference that has more to do with preference, and less to do with right or wrong. I am learning all over again and in new ways how to grow gracefully. I am learning about new cultures, and loving it. I am looking around me and seeing a Savior God lacking in so many people's lives, and it hurts my heart all over again. I am being reminded daily it is not my job to take offenses that are meant towards God, it is my job to love in a very real way. I am learning that in new places with new people, there are different battles to choose... and they are markedly different then other places and with other people... I am welcoming it.
Lord, my love, be here. Guide me.
Nov 6, 2010
Edgingly Different...
I was thinking about this yesterday as I drove to work. How "out of control" of my life I am. I mean I never planned to end up working on the 4th floor of a National organization in Old Town Alexandria. I never would have chosen to move to DC and become a part of the life and culture here. I never would have guessed that I would have spent two years in central VA, and I certainly never would have guessed I would have all the physical things I have. How is it that I own a car, am renting a HUGE house, own a Mac computer, an ipod nano, a slew of fantastic clothes, shoes, and jewelry, and the finances that allow me to essentially plan to buy whatever I want at some point in the relatively near future if I budget correctly. How have I become that person?.. I have no idea. I did not set out after college to get or be this type of person, all I wanted to do was love people for Jesus. So, in fact, my goal after college was to spend 27 months in Africa with the Peace Corps. Instead I have spend the last 3 1/2 years building a resume that is so much more fantastic then I feel I am. How have I found myself placed in a job that is so well paying that I am going to knock out substantial amounts of debt very quickly? I have no idea. I have not set out for riches or fame, in fact, I could careless about ever owning a home of my own... And yet, here I am feeling totally overwhelmed with the things I am blessed with in my life. How have I become this person? So insanely blessed that I do not know what to do with it?.. I do not know. All I know is that I am constantly praying that the Lord does not let me get swept away with the tides of the fickle people that surround me and do no turn to Him. I do not want to become this person without Him. I am not drawn to it, and I certainly do not need it, so then I must have a purpose, a mission, an adventure, and it would be impossible without His guidance.. or rather it would be pointless and have about the value of a vapor on a windy day.
I want to gallivant around this town being edgingly different. I want people who meet me to be perplexed by the dynamics that make up who I am. I do not care if they look at me and decide based on my looks that I must be different or the same, what I want is for them to walk away from an encounter with me knowing I am real, loving, and that my life is being driven by Christ. I want to be different because normal is overrated. I have discovered safe is boring and not at all what we are called to surround ourselves with, and I have never desired for the "comfortable" so why would I start now? I want the ones who are scorned by other Christians to be drawn to me, to my life, to my laughter, to my joking, to my love, and to my Savior God.
I am so much further from perfect and put together then I would like to be at this point in my life... But, it is who I am, and where I am at, so Lord use it. I am going to grow like whoa here in the metropolis that is DC, but I am also excited to push to be even more passionate, excited, and in love with my sweet Jesus. How exciting that I have been put here. God is good.
Now, for those of you that keep asking, here is a bit about my actual life and first week here... I finally feel like I am at this point of no longer being overly stimulated or overwhelmed at the sheer magnitude of the things I am now having to adjust to and call home. I caught up on homework which was a huge help, and was able to do some familiar things, even though it was in a totally new place.
So, to explain the random assortment of things that have happened my first week here:
From a work perspective:
Day 1 - Sunny
Day 2 - Partly cloudy
Day 3 - Mostly cloudy
Day 4 - Rainy...
Day 5 - I was amusingly expecting a monsoon or snow.. thankfully it was partly sunny haha
From a life perspective:
Thursday I decided staying home and doing homework was not at all enticing since I had spent the previous three evenings doing exactly that, so I peaced out and went salsa dancing. I enlisted the help of my wonderful friend who exposed me to the Latin dance world to begin with and we found a place not too far away that would be good and allow me to "just dance" haha I only stayed for a couple hours, but was able to partake in an intermediate class, learn some new things, and then dance. Surprisingly, I was asked to dance a decent amount, and quickly realized that I have a long way to go until I can consider myself a good dancer... but, I am really excited to be around such a large number of good dancers on a regular basis to help me improve!
I also discovered this week that my church has a martial arts bible study that meets on Sundays, trains some, then goes through some Bible passages.. I'm stoked!.. Especially since there's Arnis involved as one of the styles!! :) Between these two activities, it has helped curb my (I'm sure false) feelings of becoming "fat and lazy." I am excited to know that I don't HAVE to go running if I don't want to, I can dance and do martial arts for very little money or travel.. and I don't have to worry about or get aggravated by ancient mysticism working its way into my martial arts!
Friday night, I met up with a friend from Lynchburg and a local friend of hers, and we went to Old Town and had a great night just hanging out... and maybe laughing at the incredibly unaware white men really feeling and trying to "channel" Kesha on the dance-floor... poor guys.
Today, I went with those same friends to explore Georgetown. We had some fantastic coffee... Who's employees were incredibly amused by my typical "Americano with Flavor." "What flavor?" "Surprise me." :) We walked around, I got some GREAT ideas for Christmas, and realized how cheap and practical I am yet again... and then got a FANTASTIC Chai cupcake. This is also about when I realized that I even though cheap and buy pretty much NOTHING unless it is on-sale.. I enjoy great food, and am ok spending money on good food.... Weird?.. Maybe a bit haha
Tonight, I plan on heading to a friend of a friends house... by myself to partake in a game night! Haha, good thing I do not scare easily huh? Showing up to a random persons house where I know no one to play games.. I must be crazy right?... Or maybe I just have a Savior, a blackbelt, and a severe lack of fear of social situations lol Besides, how else am I supposed to meet people? Everyone has fears, insecurities, goals, ambitions, stories, and a past... No one is totally unique and normal. I just assume that we have an equal amount of good stories and bad stories from our past, and that they look at me and recognize that I am just as "normal" as they are.. so why not be friends? :) The idea of strangers has always been a foreign concept to me... They're only strangers until you can introduce them to someone else right?... And that, takes a grand total of knowing someone for 30 seconds...
I am really excited to make the trek to Church tomorrow... To once again have church in the basement of a coffee shop, and slowly begin to feel more at home. I am excited to meet God there once again, only this time hopefully less ADD and more focused.
I know I have said this, but I am really looking forward to the things to come. The new friendships I make, the people I get to love, the opportunities I will get, and all the times God is going to have teachable moments!
I want to gallivant around this town being edgingly different. I want people who meet me to be perplexed by the dynamics that make up who I am. I do not care if they look at me and decide based on my looks that I must be different or the same, what I want is for them to walk away from an encounter with me knowing I am real, loving, and that my life is being driven by Christ. I want to be different because normal is overrated. I have discovered safe is boring and not at all what we are called to surround ourselves with, and I have never desired for the "comfortable" so why would I start now? I want the ones who are scorned by other Christians to be drawn to me, to my life, to my laughter, to my joking, to my love, and to my Savior God.
I am so much further from perfect and put together then I would like to be at this point in my life... But, it is who I am, and where I am at, so Lord use it. I am going to grow like whoa here in the metropolis that is DC, but I am also excited to push to be even more passionate, excited, and in love with my sweet Jesus. How exciting that I have been put here. God is good.
Now, for those of you that keep asking, here is a bit about my actual life and first week here... I finally feel like I am at this point of no longer being overly stimulated or overwhelmed at the sheer magnitude of the things I am now having to adjust to and call home. I caught up on homework which was a huge help, and was able to do some familiar things, even though it was in a totally new place.
So, to explain the random assortment of things that have happened my first week here:
From a work perspective:
Day 1 - Sunny
Day 2 - Partly cloudy
Day 3 - Mostly cloudy
Day 4 - Rainy...
Day 5 - I was amusingly expecting a monsoon or snow.. thankfully it was partly sunny haha
From a life perspective:
Thursday I decided staying home and doing homework was not at all enticing since I had spent the previous three evenings doing exactly that, so I peaced out and went salsa dancing. I enlisted the help of my wonderful friend who exposed me to the Latin dance world to begin with and we found a place not too far away that would be good and allow me to "just dance" haha I only stayed for a couple hours, but was able to partake in an intermediate class, learn some new things, and then dance. Surprisingly, I was asked to dance a decent amount, and quickly realized that I have a long way to go until I can consider myself a good dancer... but, I am really excited to be around such a large number of good dancers on a regular basis to help me improve!
I also discovered this week that my church has a martial arts bible study that meets on Sundays, trains some, then goes through some Bible passages.. I'm stoked!.. Especially since there's Arnis involved as one of the styles!! :) Between these two activities, it has helped curb my (I'm sure false) feelings of becoming "fat and lazy." I am excited to know that I don't HAVE to go running if I don't want to, I can dance and do martial arts for very little money or travel.. and I don't have to worry about or get aggravated by ancient mysticism working its way into my martial arts!
Friday night, I met up with a friend from Lynchburg and a local friend of hers, and we went to Old Town and had a great night just hanging out... and maybe laughing at the incredibly unaware white men really feeling and trying to "channel" Kesha on the dance-floor... poor guys.
Today, I went with those same friends to explore Georgetown. We had some fantastic coffee... Who's employees were incredibly amused by my typical "Americano with Flavor." "What flavor?" "Surprise me." :) We walked around, I got some GREAT ideas for Christmas, and realized how cheap and practical I am yet again... and then got a FANTASTIC Chai cupcake. This is also about when I realized that I even though cheap and buy pretty much NOTHING unless it is on-sale.. I enjoy great food, and am ok spending money on good food.... Weird?.. Maybe a bit haha
Tonight, I plan on heading to a friend of a friends house... by myself to partake in a game night! Haha, good thing I do not scare easily huh? Showing up to a random persons house where I know no one to play games.. I must be crazy right?... Or maybe I just have a Savior, a blackbelt, and a severe lack of fear of social situations lol Besides, how else am I supposed to meet people? Everyone has fears, insecurities, goals, ambitions, stories, and a past... No one is totally unique and normal. I just assume that we have an equal amount of good stories and bad stories from our past, and that they look at me and recognize that I am just as "normal" as they are.. so why not be friends? :) The idea of strangers has always been a foreign concept to me... They're only strangers until you can introduce them to someone else right?... And that, takes a grand total of knowing someone for 30 seconds...
I am really excited to make the trek to Church tomorrow... To once again have church in the basement of a coffee shop, and slowly begin to feel more at home. I am excited to meet God there once again, only this time hopefully less ADD and more focused.
I know I have said this, but I am really looking forward to the things to come. The new friendships I make, the people I get to love, the opportunities I will get, and all the times God is going to have teachable moments!
Nov 1, 2010
Alexandria...
I have officially relocated.
I have the worlds best friends ever, they helped me move and settle in, find the church I want to go to, put up pictures and laughed and made my new place feel like home.
I am still in a bit of stimulation overdrive.. it hasn't really hit me yet that this is my home, but the more I think about it and settle in the more I am beginning to like it.
My new roomies and I are slowly getting acquainted, it still feels odd not to be living with my other roomie.. but it felt more like home after she arrived on Saturday late night..
The new job seems to be a good new thing, it will be interesting seeing how this all works and assimilating to a certain degree to the new culture and work environment, but I am looking forward to it and the diversity that is now the place I work :)
I have no idea what God's plan is at this point, but it will definitely be interesting!
I have the worlds best friends ever, they helped me move and settle in, find the church I want to go to, put up pictures and laughed and made my new place feel like home.
I am still in a bit of stimulation overdrive.. it hasn't really hit me yet that this is my home, but the more I think about it and settle in the more I am beginning to like it.
My new roomies and I are slowly getting acquainted, it still feels odd not to be living with my other roomie.. but it felt more like home after she arrived on Saturday late night..
The new job seems to be a good new thing, it will be interesting seeing how this all works and assimilating to a certain degree to the new culture and work environment, but I am looking forward to it and the diversity that is now the place I work :)
I have no idea what God's plan is at this point, but it will definitely be interesting!
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