An Old Familiar Feeling...

So, yesterday was such a rough day... Ironically the best part of my day was work... haha! (Who would've ever thought that!).. ok, not just work, tanning too :)

But, I came to a realization after talking with a friend who gave me some great advice when I gave him the bare bones of my ache...

Sometimes after a while, it's time to let it go and move on.

Which is weird, cause I am not that person.. in fact I fight to the end to hold on to people until it's really just drowning me and the other person involved. And usually it takes several people encouraging me before I will realize how much better it will be for everyone involved if I let their friendship go. But, sometimes it's just time to let it go gracefully. Not forced, but also not a force to stay.. just gracefully let it go and let it drift...

This old feeling of hurt... yeah I'm pretty familiar with it and I'm not a fan either. In my ideal world each friend I make stays.. we don't drift apart or get to a point where communicating is difficult, we simply remain good friends. And, thankfully I HAVE friends like that, I have people who fill that role. But, why can't more be like that? Or better yet, why can't we know ahead of time if someone will or won't be one or the other?.. That would make things a lot easier, and my heart with a lot less patches!

In all honesty though. If I sit here and think about it, I know the answer, I just don't like it. I wish the "friends for a time" thing didn't ever include a heartache when it was over. And, the thing is, I'm not even talking about an intimate relationship.. I just have a tendency to assimilate people into my life, they become a part of my family and I treat them like it. I mean obviously I won't ever stop doing that, I won't ever stop assimilating, it's ingrained in me and it's a part of the way I operate, the way I care and love others, and I am fairly proud to have that be so much part of who I am and my nature...

I'm not a fan of this feeling, and if it could be blotted out I would LOVE that... but, I'm fairly certain this is one of those moments in time where it hurts SO badly, and later you are so thankful it turned out exactly the way it did...

So, while this is the hurts like crazy in the darkness of night, I'll dance knowing the morning sunrise makes it all worth it...