I love how much I learn from friends. My friends have no idea how much I need them every day, they have no concept of how much of an impact they make on my life, and they certainly have no idea how much I think about even the smallest things they do or say... I mull over their actions because I want to learn, I want to be more like them, sometimes just in the smallest ways, and they slowly change me from the inside out without any clue.
Recently I have taken on an attitude.. or air of patience and contentment.. which I LOVE, but it certainly has changed a whole slew of my responses to situations. I could go on and on about all of these reactions, but the one I have been thinking the most about is the thought and idea of being pursued. And while I have no guy in mind, I still feel like writing this as though it is to a certain person... Let me just say this to start the thought:
If you want me, come get me.
I have no desire nor intention of running and hiding, but I also have been hurt enough to know I need you to prove that I am wanted, desired, and that you will not throw me away because of something better or more appealing... or worse, you will not push me away until I break and cannot handle it anymore, forcing me to make the choice to end it and walk away.
It has become very apparent that until you come for me I am going to be so very thankfully content to live my life to the fullest that God has intended for me. I have adventures planned, and am living through things I never expected but am pretty happy with. I have no intentions of creating opportunities for you or pursuing you. If you do not initiate and make the first move, I will go about my life without you. I like to think of it as a dance. You have to work up the courage ask me to dance, and once we are out on the dance floor, I will respond to the signals you send. To everyone else, it will look flawless and beautiful.. but to us it will be hard work, and you will always have to be one step ahead of me... But, in the end it will be a blast, and we will be excited to continue our journey and adventure together with God being the music that we are both dancing to...
These thoughts come in part because of a conversation with a couple friends late last week. One of my friends spent a couple hours explaining a story from a recent trip, the story was very entertaining, of course leaving room for us girls to be... well girls. We giggled and laughed at the ridiculousness that were certain points in the story, and ended with encouraging her to stick to her God given role in the relationship. Lets not fool ourselves, at no point is it easy to leave the guy to God and let God deal with him and his heart.. but it is always the better choice.
So, here I am... Living a wonderfully exciting life full of things only God could have planned... and one of these days you will know I am the one you want and you will pursue me. I am excited and can't wait... but really I can because until then life will keep both of us busy enough and we will learn some irreplaceable things that we will need later. All I ask is that when God tells you to, you come for me. Thanks ;)