I remember once a while ago that my pastor in DC, Mark Batterson
said that it takes about a year in a half to two years to write a
book.. So, as he saw it, he gains about two years of knowledge or wisdom
every time he reads a book. I love that idea! It makes me feel a bit
like the Matrix when they would download new programs almost
instantaneously, and then they become experienced in things like Kung-Fu
or flying a helicopter... Reading books can feel a little like that.
I am reading a book for work (I get paid for this?!), Finish the Mission, and it is full of wisdom from so many amazing men of God. One of the things it points out is that, whether we are being sent to the ends of the earth or next door, Christians are not at our leisure... We do not get to choose to stroll through or squander our blessings.
I like the idea that we are not afforded excuses for not getting involved and reaching others for Christ. We are not allowed to take our time, but instead we should feel a sense of urgency, I mean, after all, people die every single day without knowing Christ. One of the points that is made in the book is that the Bible is clear that everyone is not without blame, and that some people die knowing just enough about God to be rebellious. As Christians, sometimes we like to make up these obscure scenarios, what if an innocent guy in Africa or the Amazon die without ever having heard about Christ, would God still send them to hell?.. The author of one of the chapters points out that in the scenario we give, of course God would not send him to hell because he is innocent... The problem is no one is innocent, no one is without blame, everyone is rebellious. While I know the Truth in that statement, it definitely caused me to pause and really dwell on the idea once more that we are ALL broken, fallen, and rebellious. Not one is innocent. Ouch.
I love books that challenge me to think deeper, dive deeper, stretch, and grow in my understanding, compassion, and most of all my faith in the one God. I have a long road ahead of me, God has a lot of crazy things coming, most of which I have no concept of... But, what I am most excited about are all the people that God is going to reach, all the things He is going to teach me through them, and all the ways I am going to have my world rocked and my mind blown because of His favor and blessings... Yet, these things serve as a challenge and a reminder, I am not at my leisure, I do not get to stroll through this challenge or take my time.
People must encounter Christ.
Showing posts with label Mark Batterson. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mark Batterson. Show all posts
Oct 19, 2012
Jul 2, 2012
Fasting Sweets...
I say this about every Sunday, but I certainly feel it more often than I express it.
I. Love. My. Church.
There is just something about it, the mission, the vision, the Christ centered everything, the community, the uniqueness, everything. While not perfect because it is run by imperfect people. I love it, and the Lord speaks to me through it.
My pastor Mark Batterson has a way of connecting with the Holy Spirit, and obeying. I love it because he does it often, and he shares it with us just as often. The amount of miracles God is/has done at my church is just inspiring.
Last weekend he talked about waging war on our sinful nature, and part of that will start this summer starting on 7/14 as a church we are doing a 40 day fast. Mark has chosen to fast media saying that he feels too distracted by it, and as though it has a hold on him that it should not have. He gave us as a congregation two weeks notice so we can think, pray, and decide on what we are fasting for 40 days. I have decided to fast sweets because as much as I like to think and claim I try to be healthy, lately my self control seems to have exploded and been demolished. So, no sweets/candy/dessert/etc.. for me for 40 days, and I could not be more excited to have this encouragement behind me pushing me closer to the cross.
What makes me even happier is one of my closest friends here in DC without either of us talking felt the same pull to fast sweets. Whew! Talk about easier knowing we are on the same page with that too!
To end the 40 days of fasting on August 24th will be an all church celebration/concert of the God Anthology CD that the worship leaders/musicians put out last summer that another group has asked us to come and have a concert/worship jam session there. I am so excited, and love how much involvement my church has in the DC community!
I. Love. My. Church.
There is just something about it, the mission, the vision, the Christ centered everything, the community, the uniqueness, everything. While not perfect because it is run by imperfect people. I love it, and the Lord speaks to me through it.
My pastor Mark Batterson has a way of connecting with the Holy Spirit, and obeying. I love it because he does it often, and he shares it with us just as often. The amount of miracles God is/has done at my church is just inspiring.
Last weekend he talked about waging war on our sinful nature, and part of that will start this summer starting on 7/14 as a church we are doing a 40 day fast. Mark has chosen to fast media saying that he feels too distracted by it, and as though it has a hold on him that it should not have. He gave us as a congregation two weeks notice so we can think, pray, and decide on what we are fasting for 40 days. I have decided to fast sweets because as much as I like to think and claim I try to be healthy, lately my self control seems to have exploded and been demolished. So, no sweets/candy/dessert/etc.. for me for 40 days, and I could not be more excited to have this encouragement behind me pushing me closer to the cross.
What makes me even happier is one of my closest friends here in DC without either of us talking felt the same pull to fast sweets. Whew! Talk about easier knowing we are on the same page with that too!
To end the 40 days of fasting on August 24th will be an all church celebration/concert of the God Anthology CD that the worship leaders/musicians put out last summer that another group has asked us to come and have a concert/worship jam session there. I am so excited, and love how much involvement my church has in the DC community!
May 10, 2012
Revising Life Goals...
I have a fairly extensive "bucket list" that I have been compiling for a few years now... However, I am completely revising the list to organize it differently and add more to it. In Mark Batterson's book The Circle Maker he shares a list that is impressive to say the least, but is also incredibly inspiring. He has his list broken down into different categories, such as his experience goals, goals he wants to share with others, giving goals etc.. And, the more I have been thinking about it, the more I realized that so many of my goals are awesome, and I intend on keeping them, but I like his way of organizing them better. I like the idea of separating out the different goals based on areas of my life, which then actually has created more space and creativity for my goals.
So, while I am not done revising my current "before I die" list... I do think I have an idea of categories I want to use to separate them out into... (and likely add more things to each list) Experiences, giving, traveling, and personal..
This list is not complete, they are not in any particular order, and I have crossed through the ones I have already accomplished, but I am fairly confident these have more added to them later, but I think this is a good place to start:
This list is not complete, they are not in any particular order, and I have crossed through the ones I have already accomplished, but I am fairly confident these have more added to them later, but I think this is a good place to start:
Experiences:
Watch either the sunset or sunrise from each side of every ocean: Pacific, Atlantic, Indian, Arctic, Southern
Have a croissant at a French cafe
Have a croissant at a French cafe
Go wine tasting at a vineyard in Italy
Ride an elephant
Go dog sledding
Go on a Safari in Africa
Scuba dive
Ride a camel in the desert
See the Pyramids at sunset
Ride a camel in the desert
See the Pyramids at sunset
Visit the church made entirely of bones
Drink whiskey at a pub in Ireland
Go on a
multi-day biking trip
Stand on the Great
Wall of China
Learn to roll in a kayak
Learn to snowboard, and ski
Learn to wakeboard and water ski
Drive a sports car over 100mph
Stand inside the Taj Mahal
Drive a sports car over 100mph
Stand inside the Taj Mahal
Ride through the Panama Canal
Go Sky diving
Horseback ride through
a coffee plantation
Go Sky diving
Go to
the Kentucky Derby
Go white water rafting
Live in a house with a window seat and wrap around porch
Tango in a milonga
Tango in a milonga
Go parasailing
Go paragliding
Swim with bioluminescent plankton in Puerto Rico
Climb a volcano
Climb a glacier
Go rock climbing
Watch the sunrise or sunset over the Grand Canyon
Watch the Northern Lights
See a shooting star
Go paragliding
Swim with bioluminescent plankton in Puerto Rico
Go rock climbing
Watch the sunrise or sunset over the Grand Canyon
Ring a church bell
Move somewhere new
alone
Go on a cruise
Participate in a giant food fight
Climb a
mountain
Ride a helicopter
Choose fifty favorite places to relax and connect with God
Attend the enitre summer Olympics
Zip line through a canopy
Christen a boat
Be in Spain
for running of the Bulls (but not participate)
See a glacier in
Antarctica Learn to surf
Dive with Manta Rays
in Hawaii
Spend a night in a
treehouse
Swim with a whale See and/or climb Mt. Kilomanjaro and Mt. Everest
Snorkel the great barrier reef in Australia
Ride a gondola in Venice
Travel:
Set foot on
all seven continents
Set foot in all fifty states
See Cuba
Straddle the equator on two continents
Take a road trip across the U.S.
Have an exceptional time in Greece
Attend Loy Krathong, the sky
lantern festival in Thailand
Spend a summer touring Europe
Go to Hawaii with my family
Go to South America with my sister
Go to Hawaii with my family
Go to South America with my sister
Personal:
Make butterscotch from scratch (I have a recipe.. now I just need to get all the ingredients and do it!)
Build a house from start to finish
Build a house from start to finish
Get art in a gallery
Attend a Black and White Ball
Grow vegetables in my own garden
Be a published artist
Write a book or novel
Be conversational in five languages: 1.English 2.
Spanish (this one comes and goes) 3. Sign-Language 4. Greek 5. German
Get my second degree black belt
Get a tattoo (I have
two)
Be conversational in five languages: 1.
Get my second degree black belt
Go berry picking and make completely homemade pies
Own a very large dog
Make my own perfume
Organize a retreat
Learn all the Latin ballroom dances:Argentine Tango, Salsa, Cumbia, Merengue, Cha cha, Bachata,
Rumba, Mambo, Bolero, Samba
Start and run my own business
Learn all the Latin ballroom dances:
Form a workplace with people I love
Make my own list of the hundred best things to eat
Go a day without speaking
Plant a tiny orchard
Run a 10k
Throw a block party
Shoot every major gun: Pistol,
Shotgun, Rifle, Muzzleloader, Revolver
Run a half marathon
Blog consistently for 10 years
Finish and publish "Facts of Life"
Own a Beach house with friends
Blog consistently for 10 years
Finish and publish "Facts of Life"
Own a Beach house with friends
Giving/Finances:
Help someone get
through college
Do
something for someone they can never repay
Tithe my whole life
Start a non-profit or help run one
Buy stock on my own
Start a non-profit or help run one
Buy stock on my own
Get in the habit of grand loving gestures
Be debt free by 35
Be debt free by 35
Use my work to improve
lives
Remove money
as a concern from my lifeGift 1 million dollars to missions (not tithing)
Help my family become debt free
Give people in ministry free vacations at the beach house
A lot of these actually go in a couple categories, but are best "housed" in the particular category they are in. And, as always, this is ever changing.. or rather, ever growing. I feel much better about this list now that it is separated out into categories instead of just a solid list... Many thanks to Mark Batterson and his book The Circle Maker for the inspiration to do it this way!
Apr 18, 2012
Prayer Circles...
So, I realize, and somewhat feel like the majority of my posts are about prayer lately... Thankfully. I am fairly confident this trend will continue for the entirety of 2012, and I am incredibly thankful and excited that this is the season I find myself in right now... Sure beats the last two years.
Anyway, last night my small group finished the book The Circle Maker by Mark Batterson. I highly recommend it to everyone. After a whole lot of chatter, a lot of laughter, the leader threatening to move me and the other leader due to our easily distracted focus, and several announcements that lead to tangents about randomness, we finally got into discussing the last 10 weeks and what we have discovered in our small group. We talked about the things we learned, the things we were amazed by, excited by, the prayers we circled, and of course we spent quite a bit of time praying. This time we each took a turn in the center and whoever felt lead prayed until it was quiet for a bit, then we would say amen and switch to the next person.
If you are not a Christian, have never laid hands on someone and prayed for them or been on the receiving end of a moment such as this, I can only imagine the cultish thoughts running through your mind. However, I assure you, this was only of Christ, and if you do not believe in Him, I would love to talk to you more and answer any questions (even if they are about the seemingly cultish practice of laying hands on people and praying), so please feel free to e-mail me (really for any reason) kpbback@gmail.com.
While we have circled and prayed a couple times before, this time it was different because we were praying just to pray over each other, not to lift up any particular problem or issue. What came of it was one of the best and most heart felt hours I have experienced in quite a while. All of our shoulders got tired as we laid hands on one another, and the body heat of everyone so close posed a few challenges, but, the peace and calm that settled over us as we came together on behalf of each other was inspiring and encouraging to say the least. To get in a room with 15 or so twenty or thirty something's and lift each other up in prayer, it truly creates a bonding experience, and to be totally honest is pretty humbling at the same time.
One of the other girls and myself kept "stealing" the other one's prayers which was more than amusing to realize at the end that our hearts were of the same accord, and that both of us were feeling burdened to pray LITERALLY over the exact same things with the exact same wording. Several times I could not help but smile, laugh or fight away tears as people prayed specific, meaningful, and bold prayers over each other. I was amazed at the number of things people remembered to pray for that had been brought up weeks upon weeks ago, and I was encouraged by the unfiltered love and care spoken in the circle.
While I could end this blog post there and feel satisfied that I had covered the topic as a whole, I would be incredibly remiss if I did not mention or talk about what I felt and the impact being in the center of the circle had on me. First, and probably most amusing, having around 15 people's hands on you is.. heavy haha.. But, the entire time everyone was praying I found myself keenly aware of each and every hand on my shoulders, arms and holding my hand. Yet, the most profound thing were the words uttered over me, on my behalf, and into my heart. Honestly words cannot describe the complete humility I felt, and how much I was, and maybe am more so now aware of the fact that I did not deserve that, and some of the things people said were incredibly meaningful, and they had no way of knowing that except for the fact that we serve the same amazing God and the same Holy Spirit talks to us. I laughed at a couple of the prayers (such as me finally being able to get a real bed instead of the air mattress I have been sleeping on for four years), and I was touched by the prayers of thanksgiving for my friendship, laughter, joy, and a slew of other things tucked away in my heart. I was so grateful for the petitions that were uttered for several prayers I have had for a while... And, as silly as it may sound, being a touch person, having everyone lay their hands on me while praying truly changes the impact it had/has on me. :)
Lastly, while I am sad to see the small group end next week, I am really excited and hopeful for the things that God is going to do, has set into motion, and the ways in which He is going to use these friends to not only impact my life and the community around us, but just all of the ways He has set into motion His plans because of this small group and the fervent prayers we have uttered over the last 11 weeks. I am so blessed and I am so thankful that a completely random situation lead me to this place.
The two leaders of the small group prayed for a couple months prior to the start of our group for God to bring the "right" people, God did exactly that. Every single person in our small group was there for such a time as this... and the world will never be the same.
Anyway, last night my small group finished the book The Circle Maker by Mark Batterson. I highly recommend it to everyone. After a whole lot of chatter, a lot of laughter, the leader threatening to move me and the other leader due to our easily distracted focus, and several announcements that lead to tangents about randomness, we finally got into discussing the last 10 weeks and what we have discovered in our small group. We talked about the things we learned, the things we were amazed by, excited by, the prayers we circled, and of course we spent quite a bit of time praying. This time we each took a turn in the center and whoever felt lead prayed until it was quiet for a bit, then we would say amen and switch to the next person.
If you are not a Christian, have never laid hands on someone and prayed for them or been on the receiving end of a moment such as this, I can only imagine the cultish thoughts running through your mind. However, I assure you, this was only of Christ, and if you do not believe in Him, I would love to talk to you more and answer any questions (even if they are about the seemingly cultish practice of laying hands on people and praying), so please feel free to e-mail me (really for any reason) kpbback@gmail.com.
While we have circled and prayed a couple times before, this time it was different because we were praying just to pray over each other, not to lift up any particular problem or issue. What came of it was one of the best and most heart felt hours I have experienced in quite a while. All of our shoulders got tired as we laid hands on one another, and the body heat of everyone so close posed a few challenges, but, the peace and calm that settled over us as we came together on behalf of each other was inspiring and encouraging to say the least. To get in a room with 15 or so twenty or thirty something's and lift each other up in prayer, it truly creates a bonding experience, and to be totally honest is pretty humbling at the same time.
One of the other girls and myself kept "stealing" the other one's prayers which was more than amusing to realize at the end that our hearts were of the same accord, and that both of us were feeling burdened to pray LITERALLY over the exact same things with the exact same wording. Several times I could not help but smile, laugh or fight away tears as people prayed specific, meaningful, and bold prayers over each other. I was amazed at the number of things people remembered to pray for that had been brought up weeks upon weeks ago, and I was encouraged by the unfiltered love and care spoken in the circle.
While I could end this blog post there and feel satisfied that I had covered the topic as a whole, I would be incredibly remiss if I did not mention or talk about what I felt and the impact being in the center of the circle had on me. First, and probably most amusing, having around 15 people's hands on you is.. heavy haha.. But, the entire time everyone was praying I found myself keenly aware of each and every hand on my shoulders, arms and holding my hand. Yet, the most profound thing were the words uttered over me, on my behalf, and into my heart. Honestly words cannot describe the complete humility I felt, and how much I was, and maybe am more so now aware of the fact that I did not deserve that, and some of the things people said were incredibly meaningful, and they had no way of knowing that except for the fact that we serve the same amazing God and the same Holy Spirit talks to us. I laughed at a couple of the prayers (such as me finally being able to get a real bed instead of the air mattress I have been sleeping on for four years), and I was touched by the prayers of thanksgiving for my friendship, laughter, joy, and a slew of other things tucked away in my heart. I was so grateful for the petitions that were uttered for several prayers I have had for a while... And, as silly as it may sound, being a touch person, having everyone lay their hands on me while praying truly changes the impact it had/has on me. :)
Lastly, while I am sad to see the small group end next week, I am really excited and hopeful for the things that God is going to do, has set into motion, and the ways in which He is going to use these friends to not only impact my life and the community around us, but just all of the ways He has set into motion His plans because of this small group and the fervent prayers we have uttered over the last 11 weeks. I am so blessed and I am so thankful that a completely random situation lead me to this place.
The two leaders of the small group prayed for a couple months prior to the start of our group for God to bring the "right" people, God did exactly that. Every single person in our small group was there for such a time as this... and the world will never be the same.
Feb 9, 2012
Life Recently...
I have started attending a new small group.. although "new" is sort of a misnomer since I have not attended a small group of any kind in almost two years. It was a really bizarre series of events that brought me to this small group, but events that I am very happy about and more than slightly amused by... The group consists of a great blend of guys and girls, which as much as I love my girlfriends, I literally have no guy friends here in DC (I even have very few guys at work!), and I greatly appreciate the chance to add some more Y chromosomes to my life regardless of the capacity to which they will be in my life.
Anyway, the small group is focusing on the book The Circle Maker by our pastor Mark Batterson. If you have not read or heard of this book, I highly recommend it... especially if you are struggling with prayer in any capacity or struggling with feeling stuck and like maybe God is not hearing you... This book does an absolutely wonderful job encouraging, building up, and inspiring you to want to become better at praying.. I never once had the feeling of "another thing to do or another thing I am failing at..." instead, as I read the book (the first time), I really felt inspired to make a much more concerted effort to pray and pray well. So, obviously this group will be doing a lot of reading, a lot of discussing, and a whole lot of praying... which I am really excited about.
It is things like this, people that I meet, and books that I read that keep my life interesting... It is challenges like the 21 days of prayer (which our small group will be doing another one soon), and the teaching of my pastors that really inspire me towards the next goal, the next challenge, and the next step in not only my faith, but also towards the me I was designed for.. I pray often as I lay in bed that I will be more who God wants me to be tomorrow than I was today... It is moments, things, and people like these that inspire and help exactly that to happen. I am constantly amazed at how God orchestrates things in my life that I was completely clueless of the purpose until I am smack dab in the middle... or completely on the other side feeling slightly dazed and confused because of the whirlwind of it all.
On a completely different note, my schedule is representing something that is ridiculously packed and busy once again. What is funny though is that I feel almost like I have returned home with this schedule... I am not entirely sure how or why a completely booked schedule feels familiar, especially when nothing in it is familiar or at all resembling what I used to fill my time with, but there is still something innately comforting in the controlled chaos. I love having to schedule time for people, I love adding to my calendar "Call (or skype) with ____" just so I know to reserve their time and make room for the ones that I love and cherish. I enjoy putting the time on my calendar that is dedicated to exercising. I enjoy marking the times I will be at church, and then fitting school work, food, sleeping, and any errands in between all the things that I value highly.
I love having a busy and packed schedule not because it keeps me busy... but because it causes me to siphon out the things that do not matter to me, like watching TV or going shopping for yet another piece of clothing that I likely do not need at all... or to lazily kill way too much time on facebook. It forces me into a much more defined and productive lifestyle.. The useless and unimportant things are set aside until they require enough time together to be worth putting the info into my calendar as a to-do item. Somehow the ridiculousness that is my packed schedule brings a familiar cadence to my life... which is ironic since any given day includes work, gym time, phone calls with various people catching up on life, homework, laundry, cooking, cleaning, errands, reviewing other people's business plans/resumes/cover letters/marketing materials etc.., and my slowly progressing business.
I enjoy being productive.. but I enjoy even more using my controlled chaos as a means to get rid or reduce the unnecessary things that clutter my life and focusing on the people and things that truly matter.
Anyway, the small group is focusing on the book The Circle Maker by our pastor Mark Batterson. If you have not read or heard of this book, I highly recommend it... especially if you are struggling with prayer in any capacity or struggling with feeling stuck and like maybe God is not hearing you... This book does an absolutely wonderful job encouraging, building up, and inspiring you to want to become better at praying.. I never once had the feeling of "another thing to do or another thing I am failing at..." instead, as I read the book (the first time), I really felt inspired to make a much more concerted effort to pray and pray well. So, obviously this group will be doing a lot of reading, a lot of discussing, and a whole lot of praying... which I am really excited about.
It is things like this, people that I meet, and books that I read that keep my life interesting... It is challenges like the 21 days of prayer (which our small group will be doing another one soon), and the teaching of my pastors that really inspire me towards the next goal, the next challenge, and the next step in not only my faith, but also towards the me I was designed for.. I pray often as I lay in bed that I will be more who God wants me to be tomorrow than I was today... It is moments, things, and people like these that inspire and help exactly that to happen. I am constantly amazed at how God orchestrates things in my life that I was completely clueless of the purpose until I am smack dab in the middle... or completely on the other side feeling slightly dazed and confused because of the whirlwind of it all.
On a completely different note, my schedule is representing something that is ridiculously packed and busy once again. What is funny though is that I feel almost like I have returned home with this schedule... I am not entirely sure how or why a completely booked schedule feels familiar, especially when nothing in it is familiar or at all resembling what I used to fill my time with, but there is still something innately comforting in the controlled chaos. I love having to schedule time for people, I love adding to my calendar "Call (or skype) with ____" just so I know to reserve their time and make room for the ones that I love and cherish. I enjoy putting the time on my calendar that is dedicated to exercising. I enjoy marking the times I will be at church, and then fitting school work, food, sleeping, and any errands in between all the things that I value highly.
I love having a busy and packed schedule not because it keeps me busy... but because it causes me to siphon out the things that do not matter to me, like watching TV or going shopping for yet another piece of clothing that I likely do not need at all... or to lazily kill way too much time on facebook. It forces me into a much more defined and productive lifestyle.. The useless and unimportant things are set aside until they require enough time together to be worth putting the info into my calendar as a to-do item. Somehow the ridiculousness that is my packed schedule brings a familiar cadence to my life... which is ironic since any given day includes work, gym time, phone calls with various people catching up on life, homework, laundry, cooking, cleaning, errands, reviewing other people's business plans/resumes/cover letters/marketing materials etc.., and my slowly progressing business.
I enjoy being productive.. but I enjoy even more using my controlled chaos as a means to get rid or reduce the unnecessary things that clutter my life and focusing on the people and things that truly matter.
Jan 23, 2012
Running for Life...
Tonight I ran once again, but this time it was different.
I have been working towards running a half marathon the first weekend in April (oye). Mind you, I am not a runner.. I do not particularly like running (ok, I actually kinda hate it), and I definitely would not choose it as my favored workout...
However, running IS a fantastic workout.. It works the appropriate stomach muscles to help me flatten my stomach (my most disliked area of my body), and while I have a lot of issues with my joints, if I wear a knee strap and work on strengthening my muscles with other workouts, I have found I CAN actually run... (Even if I do typically walk like an 85 year old man for a day or two afterwards!)
This time the run was different though, I typically listen to random music for the first couple miles, then begin praying and pray through the last mile of my run (I get that 3 miles is not that far, but it is for me), however tonight I listened to techno music without words and prayed the entire time.
I prayed for the things I am seeking, the things I desire for my life, I spilled out my desires and gave them up, the things I want more than other (insert list here) things in my life.. I prayed for salvation for a few friends, I prayed for struggles, I prayed for God to reveal Himself to various people in new ways, I prayed for the hearts and pains of others, I prayed for health, and jobs, and exhaustion for all different people I love in my life.. I prayed for wisdom, peace, patience, compassion, love, joy, understanding, knowledge, Truth.. I prayed for the various things on my 3x5 bathroom mirror cards... Basically, I prayed. For the longest, most focused and most sincere period of time than I have in quite a while...
*Pause and insert additional background information*
At my church we are mid 21 days of prayer. I love it. I love my church, I love what Jesus is doing, and I am loving this series. It is speaking to me, beckoning me to a deeper relationship and communication with my Lord and my Savior. I have been somewhat surprised that I do not feel at all like this is something else I "have" to do.. this is something that I must do because my very core is calling out for it. My favorite part is my pastor (Mark Batterson) keeps stressing that even if we have no idea what to say, it is perfect to ask the Lord to "teach me to pray." I have been uttering that phrase so many times over the last couple weeks.. I could go on and on (and will likely do so another time) about the things I am learning about prayer these last few weeks, however this last Sunday we heard a story about a woman who made a deal with God that if He would bless her husband's ministry, she would meet him at 9am every morning (she had several other things that were part of her deal with God as well, but this was the one that struck me).
So, I have been mulling over the idea of "making a deal" or committing to something with God. Not because I want to test Him, not because I want Him to prove something, and not because I am doubting Him or His ability to do certain things in my life... I wanted to make this commitment because I want to learn to pray through.. I want to experience my sweet savior in a new way. I want to experience a relationship and a solid faith unlike anything I have experienced before. I want to see God's faithfulness explode.
*Un-pause*
So, while I was running, I decided, this was perfect for me. I prayed and told God that I would run as long as I am able (meaning for my entire life), if He would meet me there. Meet me while I ran, and would create space for me to meet Him. Running is not my favorite thing ever, I (really) do not particularly care for it... But, it is good for me physically, and now it will be good for me mentally and spiritually as well. So, I will run for the rest of my life... until I am unable to run, and then I will walk... And, I will begin to make that a priority so my Lord can meet me there to speak to me and hear me.
I am full of a little trepidation, but mostly I am excited to see what He does with this time, this period committed to Him. I am excited to see how this changes my life purely by encountering Him new.
I am circling this prayer.
I have been working towards running a half marathon the first weekend in April (oye). Mind you, I am not a runner.. I do not particularly like running (ok, I actually kinda hate it), and I definitely would not choose it as my favored workout...
However, running IS a fantastic workout.. It works the appropriate stomach muscles to help me flatten my stomach (my most disliked area of my body), and while I have a lot of issues with my joints, if I wear a knee strap and work on strengthening my muscles with other workouts, I have found I CAN actually run... (Even if I do typically walk like an 85 year old man for a day or two afterwards!)
This time the run was different though, I typically listen to random music for the first couple miles, then begin praying and pray through the last mile of my run (I get that 3 miles is not that far, but it is for me), however tonight I listened to techno music without words and prayed the entire time.
I prayed for the things I am seeking, the things I desire for my life, I spilled out my desires and gave them up, the things I want more than other (insert list here) things in my life.. I prayed for salvation for a few friends, I prayed for struggles, I prayed for God to reveal Himself to various people in new ways, I prayed for the hearts and pains of others, I prayed for health, and jobs, and exhaustion for all different people I love in my life.. I prayed for wisdom, peace, patience, compassion, love, joy, understanding, knowledge, Truth.. I prayed for the various things on my 3x5 bathroom mirror cards... Basically, I prayed. For the longest, most focused and most sincere period of time than I have in quite a while...
*Pause and insert additional background information*
At my church we are mid 21 days of prayer. I love it. I love my church, I love what Jesus is doing, and I am loving this series. It is speaking to me, beckoning me to a deeper relationship and communication with my Lord and my Savior. I have been somewhat surprised that I do not feel at all like this is something else I "have" to do.. this is something that I must do because my very core is calling out for it. My favorite part is my pastor (Mark Batterson) keeps stressing that even if we have no idea what to say, it is perfect to ask the Lord to "teach me to pray." I have been uttering that phrase so many times over the last couple weeks.. I could go on and on (and will likely do so another time) about the things I am learning about prayer these last few weeks, however this last Sunday we heard a story about a woman who made a deal with God that if He would bless her husband's ministry, she would meet him at 9am every morning (she had several other things that were part of her deal with God as well, but this was the one that struck me).
So, I have been mulling over the idea of "making a deal" or committing to something with God. Not because I want to test Him, not because I want Him to prove something, and not because I am doubting Him or His ability to do certain things in my life... I wanted to make this commitment because I want to learn to pray through.. I want to experience my sweet savior in a new way. I want to experience a relationship and a solid faith unlike anything I have experienced before. I want to see God's faithfulness explode.
*Un-pause*
So, while I was running, I decided, this was perfect for me. I prayed and told God that I would run as long as I am able (meaning for my entire life), if He would meet me there. Meet me while I ran, and would create space for me to meet Him. Running is not my favorite thing ever, I (really) do not particularly care for it... But, it is good for me physically, and now it will be good for me mentally and spiritually as well. So, I will run for the rest of my life... until I am unable to run, and then I will walk... And, I will begin to make that a priority so my Lord can meet me there to speak to me and hear me.
I am full of a little trepidation, but mostly I am excited to see what He does with this time, this period committed to Him. I am excited to see how this changes my life purely by encountering Him new.
I am circling this prayer.
Jan 12, 2012
Prayer Over Me...
Today is day 3 of the 21 days of prayer that my church is doing as part of the Circle Maker series.. which is also a book that my head pastor Mark Batterson wrote.
I fasted on Tuesday.
Wednesday I avoided music while I drove.
Today, it dawned on me how many people have told me recently that they are praying for me.. Either because they felt compelled for no reason at all, read something I wrote on my blog, saw something I said on Facebook or Twitter or because of a conversation I had with them personally.
What amazes me, and really truly humbles me to my very core is HOW MANY of them there are..
I am so incredibly thankful for each prayer.
I am so humbled by the pure love expressed in each prayer.
I am so amazed at the sheer number of people sending petitions to my savior without any idea why.
I am so undeserving of the amount of time people are spending on my behalf.
I am so completely blind, but completely excited to see what God is doing through all of this.
I am so grateful for the true friends and family that have taken me before the Lord.
I am so loved.
Last Sunday while my pastor was talking about the 21 days of prayer, he mentioned that so many times we just have no idea what to pray, but that sometimes we just need to start with “Lord, teach us to pray..." (Luke 11:1b).. Somewhere in there I realized this year is going to be a lot of me praying. I have no idea why or what for yet, but what I do know is there will be a whole heck of a lot of talking to my sweet savior this year...
The idea that this year is going to be a lot about prayer was solidified when three separate friends e-mailed me last night and today, and each of them said they had been praying for me. One because she felt compelled, another because we had a conversation, and still another because she said she loves me.
That is when it dawned on me that something is up this year.
"Lord, teach me to pray..."
I fasted on Tuesday.
Wednesday I avoided music while I drove.
Today, it dawned on me how many people have told me recently that they are praying for me.. Either because they felt compelled for no reason at all, read something I wrote on my blog, saw something I said on Facebook or Twitter or because of a conversation I had with them personally.
What amazes me, and really truly humbles me to my very core is HOW MANY of them there are..
I am so incredibly thankful for each prayer.
I am so humbled by the pure love expressed in each prayer.
I am so amazed at the sheer number of people sending petitions to my savior without any idea why.
I am so undeserving of the amount of time people are spending on my behalf.
I am so completely blind, but completely excited to see what God is doing through all of this.
I am so grateful for the true friends and family that have taken me before the Lord.
I am so loved.
Last Sunday while my pastor was talking about the 21 days of prayer, he mentioned that so many times we just have no idea what to pray, but that sometimes we just need to start with “Lord, teach us to pray..." (Luke 11:1b).. Somewhere in there I realized this year is going to be a lot of me praying. I have no idea why or what for yet, but what I do know is there will be a whole heck of a lot of talking to my sweet savior this year...
The idea that this year is going to be a lot about prayer was solidified when three separate friends e-mailed me last night and today, and each of them said they had been praying for me. One because she felt compelled, another because we had a conversation, and still another because she said she loves me.
That is when it dawned on me that something is up this year.
"Lord, teach me to pray..."
Jan 10, 2012
21 Days of Prayer...
Today my church is starting 21 Days of Prayer. I am so excited and whole heartedly jumping into this because I feel compelled to be a part of this. I feel as though this is a game changer for me, and I feel like I am starting something new with these next 21 days.
Here is a small excerpt from my pastor's blog (Mark Batterson),
"David set the standard in Psalm 5:3:
In the morning, O Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning, I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation.
One of the reasons why many people don’t feel intimacy with God is because they don’t have a daily rhythm with God. They have a weekly rhythm. If all you have with God is a weekly touchpoint called church, you’ll lose touch
with God. Would that work with your spouse or your kids? It doesn’t
work in God’s family either. We need to establish a daily rhythm in
order to have a daily relationship with God. The best way to do that is
to begin the day in prayer.
Is it always easy? No. That’s why I love the determination in David’s voice: In the morning, O Lord, you will hear my voice. That’s what it takes doesn’t it? It’s hard to get up early, but that is what makes praying hard so hard. Setting your alarm is a stewardship issue! David was determined to circle his day in prayer. I don’t know if he prayed through his calendar or wrote down his requests in a prayer journal. But I know that he prayed with specificity and consistency. And that is what drawing prayer circles is all about.
This is the day the Lord has made! Circle it.
To sign up for the 21-Day Prayer Challenge, go here.
You can purchase individual copies of The Circle Maker on amazon.com. For free resources and bulk discounts, go to www.thecirclemaker.com."
Today, I start the 21 Days of Prayer with fasting and just asking God what His plans are, where my focus should be, and to burden my heart with the things that burden His. I want Him to teach me His ways, to show me where He is guiding me, and where He is asking me to rest and wait on Him.
Should be an interesting and way exciting 21 days.
Jan 8, 2012
The Circle Maker...
I say this pretty much every Sunday, I love my church. This week we started The Circle Maker series, and I am so pumped!
While there is nothing particularly special about the building(s) and nothing different about the people, what is special is that God moves because the leaders are humble, seek His face, and because the followers seek, listen, and learn. I have said on several occasions that the thing that speaks to me the most is the humility people exhibit.. But, this Sunday, the thing that spoke to me the most was the boldness.. Not to be confused with arrogance, dictation or any sort of demanding... But, pure boldness.
Mark Batterson's latest book is called The Circle Maker. To sum up the book in way too little amount of detail, the book is about prayer. But, it is the fact that it is not just about prayer that excites me, motivates me, encourages me, it is because it does it in a way that does not make me feel burdened or like I am being obligated to yet another thing that I should be doing but am currently failing at. The book is about inspiring.. not coercing.
My roomie and I began reading The Circle Maker while we were driving back to DC after Christmas (really she read to me while I drove).. And, there is always something that flares inside of me when I read about the boldness of others and the way they live their lives for Christ. Even if the story I am hearing is hundreds (or possibly thousands) of years old, I cannot help but feel inspired. I love these stories because I do not posses the strength, boldness or faith to do the same things, and I know it... But, I always love the feeling I get inside of me when I hear about someone else choosing to be bold, and then God ANSWERING their boldness! I am always amazed at how some people have the ability to speak things into existence with their prayers, and I am always inspired because they posses the most humility of anyone I have ever met (or heard of etc..). I want to be like them.
It is no surprise to anyone who knows me that I am naturally fairly bold and direct in the way I operate or communicate. Although, sometimes my boldness or the directness of my approach is just way too much, and other times it is the completely wrong choice of words or timing, but either way, I prefer straight forward. I admire people who can tote the line of direct, bold, and maintain the understanding that it is all out of genuine love and humility. I hope and pray all the time that God gives me the wisdom and understanding to be proficient at this as I get older.
All this to say, I am really excited about this new series, and finishing reading this book :)
While there is nothing particularly special about the building(s) and nothing different about the people, what is special is that God moves because the leaders are humble, seek His face, and because the followers seek, listen, and learn. I have said on several occasions that the thing that speaks to me the most is the humility people exhibit.. But, this Sunday, the thing that spoke to me the most was the boldness.. Not to be confused with arrogance, dictation or any sort of demanding... But, pure boldness.
Mark Batterson's latest book is called The Circle Maker. To sum up the book in way too little amount of detail, the book is about prayer. But, it is the fact that it is not just about prayer that excites me, motivates me, encourages me, it is because it does it in a way that does not make me feel burdened or like I am being obligated to yet another thing that I should be doing but am currently failing at. The book is about inspiring.. not coercing.
My roomie and I began reading The Circle Maker while we were driving back to DC after Christmas (really she read to me while I drove).. And, there is always something that flares inside of me when I read about the boldness of others and the way they live their lives for Christ. Even if the story I am hearing is hundreds (or possibly thousands) of years old, I cannot help but feel inspired. I love these stories because I do not posses the strength, boldness or faith to do the same things, and I know it... But, I always love the feeling I get inside of me when I hear about someone else choosing to be bold, and then God ANSWERING their boldness! I am always amazed at how some people have the ability to speak things into existence with their prayers, and I am always inspired because they posses the most humility of anyone I have ever met (or heard of etc..). I want to be like them.
It is no surprise to anyone who knows me that I am naturally fairly bold and direct in the way I operate or communicate. Although, sometimes my boldness or the directness of my approach is just way too much, and other times it is the completely wrong choice of words or timing, but either way, I prefer straight forward. I admire people who can tote the line of direct, bold, and maintain the understanding that it is all out of genuine love and humility. I hope and pray all the time that God gives me the wisdom and understanding to be proficient at this as I get older.
All this to say, I am really excited about this new series, and finishing reading this book :)
Dec 22, 2011
Hello, Good-Bye 2011...
I really love keeping a blog, I enjoy the outlet it gives me to speak my mind, the comfort it offers in getting out the thoughts that are both dear to my heart or frivolously in my head. I made a serious concerted effort this year to blog 4-6 days a week, and for the most part, I am surprised to say I have kept that up.. Not perfectly, and sometimes only because I almost always have my phone in tow and shared pictures of my travels throughout the summer.
However, I have two favorite posts that I have posted annually, the first one looks back on the year and the second one looks forward at the next year. In preparation to write this year's 2011 review I went back and looked at the 2010 look back, and the 2011 look forward. These two blogs really serve as a perfect little reminder of where I am and where I want to be going... Plus, it allows me the chance to update on the goals I had for this year. Christmas just always proves to be one of the best and most memorable times to review and take an internal check so that I can then move forward next year.
So, as always, this year in review will likely be a fairly long post, and while I almost never review the year the same as I have in the past, it remains my favorite post to make each year.
We got our fifth and final roomie (for a while), and we welcomed into our lives a wonderful and incredibly broken person. Another roomie and I began having serious issues, and as much as I tried, I could not seem to communicate in a manner that helped either one of us... And, eventually the relationship sadly dwindled into co-existence at best.
I began another difficult class in my double masters program, and proceeded to sit on the couch for hours every night having near melt downs trying to understand finance...
My very best friend in the whole world got married in Georgia, and I was so thrilled and honored to stand up in her wedding with eight other beautiful girls and nine great guys. It was a fantastic trip down, and a great celebration!
I joined a gym, and ended up signing up for what turned into five months of personal training sessions twice a week. I looked forward to and loved these couple hours a week because the trainer was a great match to my skill, passion for martial arts, humor, and he improved my body in ways I was unsure could happen... Well worth the money for the time period I was in and how I was feeling.
My birthday... dun. dun. dun. Was actually amazing this year. (whew!) I have had so many issues with my birthday over the years that this year I was just too scared to hope for anything good, and just decided I wanted one thing. For one of my best friends to come and stay the weekend with me. She surprised me (by showing up late.. haha) with two more girl friends that I love to death sitting on my couch when I got home from dinner.. Which, because of the stress level I was under, I began to tear up just seeing and hugging them.. I then turned around to another friend creeping across the living room, which of course sent me into more tears being just so excited that he too was there... THEN, I was tapped on the shoulder, turned around to find my little brother holding a dozen roses (hands down my favorite birthday gift every year are these roses from my brothers). I just stood there dumbfounded and silent, then finally blurted out "Why are you here?!" then proceeded to hug the life out of him.. and SOB. As in, I could not breathe, I could not talk, I could not see.. I just sobbed and hugged my brother while everyone laughed at my reaction. THEN, the next day my friend/sister/old roomie showed up with cake and two more of my good friends.. and we proceeded to have a perfect weekend around DC exploring the Spy museum and getting Thai food. It was perfect, and I was reminded I am loved.
The day after my birthday we had 30 (or so) people laid-off from my workplace...
I also really remember struggling with my job situation and being totally and completely unhappy.
But, the most overwhelming thing I remember from February are the feelings of total despair, being stuck, miserable, and totally feeling forgotten and unimportant. I literally remember feeling like I was not myself, but having no idea how to FIND myself again.
I spent a great deal of March trying to figure out how I fit in the DC area. I did not like DC, I did not like my life here, and I really did not like that I felt stuck here. I had little to no friends, and had even fewer people who understood me.
I continued to hate my online class and felt more and more belittled and frustrated at work.
The biggest feelings I have from March are that of feeling unsafe and like the best I had to offer was to "keep it together."
April also brought with it an acute understanding that I was missing my Savior at my very core. I knew something was missing, I knew I felt lost, and I also knew I had no idea what to do. I felt empty and broken, and felt like I was completely directionless.
What I do remember though on a positive note is how pretty DC is in the spring. The flowers, trees, warm breeze.. it was truly beautiful and I finally found something I enjoyed about living here!
April also kick-started my insanely hectic always busy weekend summer schedule.
I realized in May that I truly was beginning to hate my job because of a couple particularly challenging individuals, and I really was struggling with the Lord on my attitude towards my job and the people causing the issues. I also began seriously searching for a new job...
I spent most of May exhausted. I had almost every moment of every day for the entire month planned out, down to how long it took me to get places. It was all rather ridiculous really... But, the busyness allowed me to fake ok. It is easier for me to fake that I am ok because I was so busy every "not ok" moment can be blamed on exhaustion and not getting enough sleep, and then anything that did not fall under that category could be lumped in with the stress of school and being incredibly busy at work...
I hid my heart and refused to acknowledge the pain going on at my core to anyone else for the entire month.
I went home for the first time since Christmas to surprise my brother for his birthday, loved being home and seeing everyone, and it gave me a good reprieve from not feeling like I belonged or fit anywhere.
I left from MI back to DC for a night, then down to FL for a week-long annual convention for work. I spent the better part of the entire month traveling, I acquired a cough I could not get rid of, and spent the majority of my time doing homework in the hammock we had set up in our backyard... I am pretty sure that hammock saved my life this summer haha :)
I had more wedding showers and more traveling back down to Lynchburg, and I honestly have no idea how I found the time to do my homework.. much less understand and pass the class...
I spent a great deal of June trying to do an internal check and figure out what I needed to do to make my life "ok" again. At this point I really realized how much I disliked my life, and I knew I needed to make a change, and I knew a lot of it was that I was not willing to humble myself enough to talk to my Savior about the things really bothering me.. So, God and I began having some pretty serious "what the hell" conversations.. It was actually quite liberating to know He was listening to me spout off like a little child, and that He still cared and loved me..
Also, while this is my first mention of it in this post, I L.O.V.E. my church, and throughout the whole year they really were the one lighthouse that I had. Over the summer, they did a series called the God Anthology, they picked and talked about nine attributes of God. While I was crazy busy, my church remained the one thing about DC I loved and was (and still am) unsure I ever wanted to give up...
The one thing that began to offer some genuine reprieve that I did not even know I needed was having a friend from Lynchburg move to DC. While we were in the same group of friends there, we were not super close.. But she has become such a God send to me. Her friendship, loyalty, humor, adventurous spirit, and level headedness... as well as her love for fun and doing things has been exactly what I did not even know I needed.
It was about this point in the year that I finally began realizing I (while crazy busy) was finding my place in DC. I did not particularly like most of the things going on, and it was not my ideal, but I was able to say that I had friends and that maybe I was making a life here after all... With the exception of the fact that I was still job hunting... and still really wanting to move to Atlanta...
I also realized in July exactly how stressed out I was... So, I took a couple day trips or mornings to relax.. I really thought a couple times I was going to lose it on some poor unsuspecting soul...
I had a period of time in July where it seemed that my virginity came up over and over in almost any situation. I found the conversation empowering and very intriguing as well. I was quite surprised by the interest others had in my choice to remain a virgin until I get married... the reactions were.. priceless and pretty much spanned the gambit. Some were not surprised in the slightest, some thought it was purely accidental, others were completely blown away because apparently I do not seem "the type." However, it really caused me to begin looking at those areas of my life and realize that not only am I not ashamed or embarrassed by them in the slightest, I am very thankful and proud that God and I have this story together.. and that I have the boldness to talk about it with others, and explain eloquently why I am still a virgin.
I also went with one of my friends to the Bachata congress here in DC, and we had SO much fun. We were so sore, tired, and our poor feet suffered greatly, but overall it was a fantastic experience, and one that helped me learn so much more about dancing, and helped renew my love for it.
In August we also had an Earthquake in DC (which you can see the destruction my place suffered here), and a hurricane... although I left to visit my best friend and her husband during the hurricane, and helped them move.. It was a long and tiring weekend, but I loved every minute of it because I was with them!
I could tell by the end of August I was really getting antsy for life to FEEL normal. I wanted to feel like I belonged, like God and I were close again, like I was important, like I had value to offer, and I longed to enjoy my job once again...
Thankfully I had a free airplane ticket to use and some extra time off, so I peaced out to California to see my cousin. We spent four days in southern California doing whatever we pleased to celebrate her 3rd anniversary (even though her husband was deployed at the time). We laid on the beach, played in the VERY cold water, got pedicures, ate amazing food, walked down the beach, took paddle boarding lessons, made amazing homemade food, and watched movies.. not to mention talked and laughed for all four days. It was during that break that I FINALLY felt something break. It was like God had released the pressure valve on my stress level and I could finally think, feel, and process clearly. I felt content inside my soul once again... I had almost forgotten what that felt like.
We also celebrated the 10th anniversary (has it REALLY been that long?!) of the 9/11 terrorist attacks...
I was reminded during September how much I am loved, and for whatever reason I was finally able to start understanding it deep down.. I am surrounded by friends who love me and send flowers just because they knew I was having a rough week..
I became debt free except for my student loans in October, and the new found freedom is awesome!
The biggest thing I remember from October is feeling like I finally found my groove. I finally felt like I was BUILDING a life.. and while I was not too thrilled with certain situations with work or school still, I had peace once more, and knew I was going to be ok.
I made the decision to sign the lease at the end of the month, which essentially meant I was committing to another year here in DC... I was a little worried I was making a mistake, but knew I needed to make a choice regardless and let God do his thing and figure out what was going to happen.
I also ran my first 10k.. and I RAN the whole thing.. the furthest I have ever run.. in my ENTIRE life.. I was pretty stoked.. then I walked like an 85 year old man for several days haha!
I think the most unique thing about November for me was all of the things that felt like they began settling into place. For starters, it went down in record as the longest I had lived in one place for the last nine years (whoa!). I had not realized how transient my life was, and how almost bizarre it felt to live in the SAME place not having to pack up or move anywhere... Such a unique feeling.
I was able to reconnect with an old friend from Freshman year of college, and it has become such a welcome surprise and rekindling of a friendship.
I cooked my first Thanksgiving dinner with the help of a friend... and it wasn't easy, but we had fun and only had a few minor mishaps..
I began reading and finished reading Start Something That Matters by Blake Mycoskie (the founder of TOMS Shoes) and was incredibly inspired...
Work became suddenly significantly easier and less stress filled due to staffing changes, it was almost a visible change in my stress level and it could not have come at a more perfect time. This made it easier to decide that I can stay where I am until God really moves me elsewhere...
Overall it was a good month, not void of frustrations or annoyances, but definitely one of the best months I have had in around a year in a half...
I also met a guy through a mutual friend that I have been on a few dates with, he has proven to be much nicer than I am used to in the men I typically date. I have absolutely no idea where it is going, but after a few (somewhat minor) freak outs I have settled into trusting that God knows what He is doing and walking through this door and seeing what happens.
This month I have spent a great deal of time feeling like life is normal.. Well normal aside from trying to figure out if I like this guy while at the same time understanding that the emotions do not accurately reflect reality and just enjoying it is really the key.
What I do know is that the Lord and I are reconnecting.. Prayer comes easier again, and just sitting and being with my Savior is something I am enjoying again.
While this is a gross exaggeration of what has happened this year, I feel like Job at the end of his book in the Bible, an overwhelming sense of peace and an acute awareness of the blessings in my life.
Please Lord, do not ever make me repeat this year, but thank you for all the times you carried me and comforted me while I struggled. Thank you for proving once again you are faithful and that no matter where I am, what I am going through or who I am dealing with you not only care, but you hear me when I talk to you. Thank you for giving me the chance to learn and for putting the people in my life I needed to survive. Thank you for teaching me another thing or two about humility and compassion, and for growing my heart for the lost and broken.
I have no idea what to expect for the next year, I would love for it to be a fantastic year, but I have no sense of what is to come at all. But, what I do know is, if the last couple years are any indication, it is going to be a very... interesting year!
However, I have two favorite posts that I have posted annually, the first one looks back on the year and the second one looks forward at the next year. In preparation to write this year's 2011 review I went back and looked at the 2010 look back, and the 2011 look forward. These two blogs really serve as a perfect little reminder of where I am and where I want to be going... Plus, it allows me the chance to update on the goals I had for this year. Christmas just always proves to be one of the best and most memorable times to review and take an internal check so that I can then move forward next year.
So, as always, this year in review will likely be a fairly long post, and while I almost never review the year the same as I have in the past, it remains my favorite post to make each year.
January
The year started off surrounded by so many wonderful people in my fairly new house. Two of my best friends got engaged (to each other) seconds after the 2011 ball dropped, which commenced all of us into seven months of wedding planning and excitement (more on their wedding later).We got our fifth and final roomie (for a while), and we welcomed into our lives a wonderful and incredibly broken person. Another roomie and I began having serious issues, and as much as I tried, I could not seem to communicate in a manner that helped either one of us... And, eventually the relationship sadly dwindled into co-existence at best.
I began another difficult class in my double masters program, and proceeded to sit on the couch for hours every night having near melt downs trying to understand finance...
My very best friend in the whole world got married in Georgia, and I was so thrilled and honored to stand up in her wedding with eight other beautiful girls and nine great guys. It was a fantastic trip down, and a great celebration!
I joined a gym, and ended up signing up for what turned into five months of personal training sessions twice a week. I looked forward to and loved these couple hours a week because the trainer was a great match to my skill, passion for martial arts, humor, and he improved my body in ways I was unsure could happen... Well worth the money for the time period I was in and how I was feeling.
My birthday... dun. dun. dun. Was actually amazing this year. (whew!) I have had so many issues with my birthday over the years that this year I was just too scared to hope for anything good, and just decided I wanted one thing. For one of my best friends to come and stay the weekend with me. She surprised me (by showing up late.. haha) with two more girl friends that I love to death sitting on my couch when I got home from dinner.. Which, because of the stress level I was under, I began to tear up just seeing and hugging them.. I then turned around to another friend creeping across the living room, which of course sent me into more tears being just so excited that he too was there... THEN, I was tapped on the shoulder, turned around to find my little brother holding a dozen roses (hands down my favorite birthday gift every year are these roses from my brothers). I just stood there dumbfounded and silent, then finally blurted out "Why are you here?!" then proceeded to hug the life out of him.. and SOB. As in, I could not breathe, I could not talk, I could not see.. I just sobbed and hugged my brother while everyone laughed at my reaction. THEN, the next day my friend/sister/old roomie showed up with cake and two more of my good friends.. and we proceeded to have a perfect weekend around DC exploring the Spy museum and getting Thai food. It was perfect, and I was reminded I am loved.
The day after my birthday we had 30 (or so) people laid-off from my workplace...
February
February is a bit of a blur, I mostly just remember hating life, arguing with one of my roomies a lot, sitting on the couch under blankets, and trying to understand my homework.I also really remember struggling with my job situation and being totally and completely unhappy.
But, the most overwhelming thing I remember from February are the feelings of total despair, being stuck, miserable, and totally feeling forgotten and unimportant. I literally remember feeling like I was not myself, but having no idea how to FIND myself again.
March
The most significant thing that happened in March was an out of the blue friend was made from reading my blog. I have no idea why or how she found me, but we began e-mailing several times a week about life, Jesus, pain, hurt, brokenness, Christianity, Christians, etc.. I was totally unsure how to handle the situations she presented me with, but what did end up coming from it was a lot of prayer on my part for her. I was amazed at the honesty she had when talking to me about her life and situations she has been in. I was humbled by the trust she had in me and broken for her and her situation. (I have not heard from her much in the last several months, but I still pray for her, her salvation, and that Jesus would do, what Jesus does in her life.)I spent a great deal of March trying to figure out how I fit in the DC area. I did not like DC, I did not like my life here, and I really did not like that I felt stuck here. I had little to no friends, and had even fewer people who understood me.
I continued to hate my online class and felt more and more belittled and frustrated at work.
The biggest feelings I have from March are that of feeling unsafe and like the best I had to offer was to "keep it together."
April
April brought my best friend and his wife to visit for our annual Easter weekend together. I needed them more than I think they will ever understand. They understand me, they laugh with and at me, and more than anything, their friendship is solid no matter where we are in life. We had a great weekend in DC, we even went roller blading (old school I know, but it is our thing!).April also brought with it an acute understanding that I was missing my Savior at my very core. I knew something was missing, I knew I felt lost, and I also knew I had no idea what to do. I felt empty and broken, and felt like I was completely directionless.
What I do remember though on a positive note is how pretty DC is in the spring. The flowers, trees, warm breeze.. it was truly beautiful and I finally found something I enjoyed about living here!
April also kick-started my insanely hectic always busy weekend summer schedule.
May
May brought a lot of wedding showers.. Several friends were getting married, so I traveled to and from Lynchburg a lot in order to feel like I was much more a part of something than I actually was.I realized in May that I truly was beginning to hate my job because of a couple particularly challenging individuals, and I really was struggling with the Lord on my attitude towards my job and the people causing the issues. I also began seriously searching for a new job...
I spent most of May exhausted. I had almost every moment of every day for the entire month planned out, down to how long it took me to get places. It was all rather ridiculous really... But, the busyness allowed me to fake ok. It is easier for me to fake that I am ok because I was so busy every "not ok" moment can be blamed on exhaustion and not getting enough sleep, and then anything that did not fall under that category could be lumped in with the stress of school and being incredibly busy at work...
I hid my heart and refused to acknowledge the pain going on at my core to anyone else for the entire month.
June
One of our roomies moved out, and another one replaced her. It was both sad and exciting at the same time. I went home for the first time since Christmas to surprise my brother for his birthday, loved being home and seeing everyone, and it gave me a good reprieve from not feeling like I belonged or fit anywhere.
I left from MI back to DC for a night, then down to FL for a week-long annual convention for work. I spent the better part of the entire month traveling, I acquired a cough I could not get rid of, and spent the majority of my time doing homework in the hammock we had set up in our backyard... I am pretty sure that hammock saved my life this summer haha :)
I had more wedding showers and more traveling back down to Lynchburg, and I honestly have no idea how I found the time to do my homework.. much less understand and pass the class...
I spent a great deal of June trying to do an internal check and figure out what I needed to do to make my life "ok" again. At this point I really realized how much I disliked my life, and I knew I needed to make a change, and I knew a lot of it was that I was not willing to humble myself enough to talk to my Savior about the things really bothering me.. So, God and I began having some pretty serious "what the hell" conversations.. It was actually quite liberating to know He was listening to me spout off like a little child, and that He still cared and loved me..
Also, while this is my first mention of it in this post, I L.O.V.E. my church, and throughout the whole year they really were the one lighthouse that I had. Over the summer, they did a series called the God Anthology, they picked and talked about nine attributes of God. While I was crazy busy, my church remained the one thing about DC I loved and was (and still am) unsure I ever wanted to give up...
The one thing that began to offer some genuine reprieve that I did not even know I needed was having a friend from Lynchburg move to DC. While we were in the same group of friends there, we were not super close.. But she has become such a God send to me. Her friendship, loyalty, humor, adventurous spirit, and level headedness... as well as her love for fun and doing things has been exactly what I did not even know I needed.
July
The two best friends that got engaged on New Years got married over the 4th of July weekend. It was a pretty epic weekend.. One that included a lake day, 11 other bridesmaids, 12 groomsmen, several flower girls and ring bearers, three pastors, and a sneak attack surprise of chucks shoes for the dance off at the reception... I got to see so many old friends, meet new ones, and party like crazy celebrating the union of two of my best friends! It was a pretty epic and fantastic wedding weekend :)It was about this point in the year that I finally began realizing I (while crazy busy) was finding my place in DC. I did not particularly like most of the things going on, and it was not my ideal, but I was able to say that I had friends and that maybe I was making a life here after all... With the exception of the fact that I was still job hunting... and still really wanting to move to Atlanta...
I also realized in July exactly how stressed out I was... So, I took a couple day trips or mornings to relax.. I really thought a couple times I was going to lose it on some poor unsuspecting soul...
I had a period of time in July where it seemed that my virginity came up over and over in almost any situation. I found the conversation empowering and very intriguing as well. I was quite surprised by the interest others had in my choice to remain a virgin until I get married... the reactions were.. priceless and pretty much spanned the gambit. Some were not surprised in the slightest, some thought it was purely accidental, others were completely blown away because apparently I do not seem "the type." However, it really caused me to begin looking at those areas of my life and realize that not only am I not ashamed or embarrassed by them in the slightest, I am very thankful and proud that God and I have this story together.. and that I have the boldness to talk about it with others, and explain eloquently why I am still a virgin.
August
I went home in the beginning of August to help plan and celebrate my parent's 30th wedding anniversary, and it was awesome. We had a blast, and I was reminded once again how absolutely amazing my family is. I am always amazed at how close we are and how much we all genuinely LOVE to be around each other, joking, laughing, reading, talking, watching movies.. whatever.. we love it.I also went with one of my friends to the Bachata congress here in DC, and we had SO much fun. We were so sore, tired, and our poor feet suffered greatly, but overall it was a fantastic experience, and one that helped me learn so much more about dancing, and helped renew my love for it.
In August we also had an Earthquake in DC (which you can see the destruction my place suffered here), and a hurricane... although I left to visit my best friend and her husband during the hurricane, and helped them move.. It was a long and tiring weekend, but I loved every minute of it because I was with them!
I could tell by the end of August I was really getting antsy for life to FEEL normal. I wanted to feel like I belonged, like God and I were close again, like I was important, like I had value to offer, and I longed to enjoy my job once again...
September
I spent the first half of September really evaluating where I was, and really ready inside to take a moment and breathe. I felt like I was drowning and like nothing anyone said was relieving my stress.Thankfully I had a free airplane ticket to use and some extra time off, so I peaced out to California to see my cousin. We spent four days in southern California doing whatever we pleased to celebrate her 3rd anniversary (even though her husband was deployed at the time). We laid on the beach, played in the VERY cold water, got pedicures, ate amazing food, walked down the beach, took paddle boarding lessons, made amazing homemade food, and watched movies.. not to mention talked and laughed for all four days. It was during that break that I FINALLY felt something break. It was like God had released the pressure valve on my stress level and I could finally think, feel, and process clearly. I felt content inside my soul once again... I had almost forgotten what that felt like.
We also celebrated the 10th anniversary (has it REALLY been that long?!) of the 9/11 terrorist attacks...
I was reminded during September how much I am loved, and for whatever reason I was finally able to start understanding it deep down.. I am surrounded by friends who love me and send flowers just because they knew I was having a rough week..
October
I finally knew what contentment felt like, and it was like a dew kissed morning.I became debt free except for my student loans in October, and the new found freedom is awesome!
The biggest thing I remember from October is feeling like I finally found my groove. I finally felt like I was BUILDING a life.. and while I was not too thrilled with certain situations with work or school still, I had peace once more, and knew I was going to be ok.
I made the decision to sign the lease at the end of the month, which essentially meant I was committing to another year here in DC... I was a little worried I was making a mistake, but knew I needed to make a choice regardless and let God do his thing and figure out what was going to happen.
I also ran my first 10k.. and I RAN the whole thing.. the furthest I have ever run.. in my ENTIRE life.. I was pretty stoked.. then I walked like an 85 year old man for several days haha!
November
November seemed like it FLEW by to me. I am not entirely sure where the month went..I think the most unique thing about November for me was all of the things that felt like they began settling into place. For starters, it went down in record as the longest I had lived in one place for the last nine years (whoa!). I had not realized how transient my life was, and how almost bizarre it felt to live in the SAME place not having to pack up or move anywhere... Such a unique feeling.
I was able to reconnect with an old friend from Freshman year of college, and it has become such a welcome surprise and rekindling of a friendship.
I cooked my first Thanksgiving dinner with the help of a friend... and it wasn't easy, but we had fun and only had a few minor mishaps..
I began reading and finished reading Start Something That Matters by Blake Mycoskie (the founder of TOMS Shoes) and was incredibly inspired...
Work became suddenly significantly easier and less stress filled due to staffing changes, it was almost a visible change in my stress level and it could not have come at a more perfect time. This made it easier to decide that I can stay where I am until God really moves me elsewhere...
Overall it was a good month, not void of frustrations or annoyances, but definitely one of the best months I have had in around a year in a half...
I also met a guy through a mutual friend that I have been on a few dates with, he has proven to be much nicer than I am used to in the men I typically date. I have absolutely no idea where it is going, but after a few (somewhat minor) freak outs I have settled into trusting that God knows what He is doing and walking through this door and seeing what happens.
December
I cannot believe December is almost over... Where did this year go? The most challenging thing about this year is there were so many reoccurring feelings and frustrations that it makes the entire year blend into itself...This month I have spent a great deal of time feeling like life is normal.. Well normal aside from trying to figure out if I like this guy while at the same time understanding that the emotions do not accurately reflect reality and just enjoying it is really the key.
What I do know is that the Lord and I are reconnecting.. Prayer comes easier again, and just sitting and being with my Savior is something I am enjoying again.
2011
Hands down of the most stressful and pressure filled years I have ever had... While I would NEVER.. ever choose to re-live this year, I can honestly say I am so thankful to have been through this year and survived. I learned so many things about prayer, stress, pressure, friends, and know without any shadow of a doubt that patience was created and increased ten fold in my life this year. While this is a gross exaggeration of what has happened this year, I feel like Job at the end of his book in the Bible, an overwhelming sense of peace and an acute awareness of the blessings in my life.
Please Lord, do not ever make me repeat this year, but thank you for all the times you carried me and comforted me while I struggled. Thank you for proving once again you are faithful and that no matter where I am, what I am going through or who I am dealing with you not only care, but you hear me when I talk to you. Thank you for giving me the chance to learn and for putting the people in my life I needed to survive. Thank you for teaching me another thing or two about humility and compassion, and for growing my heart for the lost and broken.
I have no idea what to expect for the next year, I would love for it to be a fantastic year, but I have no sense of what is to come at all. But, what I do know is, if the last couple years are any indication, it is going to be a very... interesting year!
Dec 18, 2011
Not My Own...
Several weeks ago, Dick Foth spoke at my church for a two part series "Hallowed" which roughly means "Holy." He talked about the Lords prayer and just what exactly are we asking for when we say the Lords prayer. In case you have never heard it or just want a refresher:
"Our Father, who art in Heaven,
Hallowed be thy name.
Thy Kingdom Come,
Thy will be done on earth, as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses,
As we forgive those who trespass against us.
And, lead us not into temptation,
But deliver us from the evil one.
For thine is the Kingdom,
The power,
and the Glory,
For ever and ever.
Amen."
Even though this is old English, I still like this version the best.
There is a different cadence to it that I enjoy, which is ironic since I do not really like any other verses in old English.
One of the things that was pointed out was "Thy will be done.." and how even in the Garden of gesthemany where Jesus was crying, praying, and basically asking God to find another way to save us He essentially said "Thy will be done.."...
"...he fell with his face to the ground. He prayed, 'My Father, if it is possible, take this cup of suffering away from me. But let what you want be done, not what I want.'" -Matthew 26:39b
This has really been sticking with me lately after Dick Foth made mention of, how different would our lives and the lives of those around us look if more people said more often "... not my will, but yours..."
So, what if?.. What if I said that more times a day than I can count? How different would my life look if every prayer, everything ended with "but, not my own will, but yours be done here."? Would my life dramatically change?
I dunno, maybe.
Maybe I would stop stressing so much,
Maybe I would be less afraid of getting hurt again,
Maybe I would stop trying to keep everything together perfectly,
Maybe I would stop paying attention to the wrongs against me,
Maybe I would stop trying to control everything,
Maybe I would be more patient,
Maybe I would be more compassionate,
Maybe I would see someone else's hurt before my own,
Maybe I would be less selfish,
Maybe I would begin to be more fulfilled in every situation,
Maybe I would have more peace and contentment in my life,
Maybe I would hurt more because I was seeking God's will more,
Maybe my life would get harder,
Maybe I would cry more,
Maybe my heart would be broken more for what breaks God's,
Maybe I would get hurt more,
Maybe I would get my heart broken again,
Maybe I would love unabashedly,
Maybe more people would come to know Christ,
Maybe God would change the world with my life.
Lately I have been thinking a lot about this concept, and just working through the idea that I want to walk through any door and any path the Lord has put before me regardless of what is going on or the result.
This was aided by today's sermon by Mark Batterson about how sometimes God's plan does not make sense for 55-1500 years... He listed several stories in the Bible that the individuals would likely have said "thanks but no thanks" and would have chosen to write it differently, but that later, and sometimes 1500 years (and however many generations that is) later it all makes perfect beautiful sense as to why something happened the way it did. He also pointed out that when God does miracles, they never are convenient, and often really get in the way of life and our plans. Such an interesting thought.
Am I open to be inconvenienced for God?.. Gosh I hope so.
I guess I just feel like I am at this place right now where I know that some crazy things are coming around the corner, some probably scary, others exciting, likely some stressful things, and everything in between, but what I know above and beyond that is I desire God's will over my own. With Him directing and taking the lead I have no reason to fear...
Not my own, but yours my King.
"Our Father, who art in Heaven,
Hallowed be thy name.
Thy Kingdom Come,
Thy will be done on earth, as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses,
As we forgive those who trespass against us.
And, lead us not into temptation,
But deliver us from the evil one.
For thine is the Kingdom,
The power,
and the Glory,
For ever and ever.
Amen."
Even though this is old English, I still like this version the best.
There is a different cadence to it that I enjoy, which is ironic since I do not really like any other verses in old English.
One of the things that was pointed out was "Thy will be done.." and how even in the Garden of gesthemany where Jesus was crying, praying, and basically asking God to find another way to save us He essentially said "Thy will be done.."...
"...he fell with his face to the ground. He prayed, 'My Father, if it is possible, take this cup of suffering away from me. But let what you want be done, not what I want.'" -Matthew 26:39b
This has really been sticking with me lately after Dick Foth made mention of, how different would our lives and the lives of those around us look if more people said more often "... not my will, but yours..."
So, what if?.. What if I said that more times a day than I can count? How different would my life look if every prayer, everything ended with "but, not my own will, but yours be done here."? Would my life dramatically change?
I dunno, maybe.
Maybe I would stop stressing so much,
Maybe I would be less afraid of getting hurt again,
Maybe I would stop trying to keep everything together perfectly,
Maybe I would stop paying attention to the wrongs against me,
Maybe I would stop trying to control everything,
Maybe I would be more patient,
Maybe I would be more compassionate,
Maybe I would see someone else's hurt before my own,
Maybe I would be less selfish,
Maybe I would begin to be more fulfilled in every situation,
Maybe I would have more peace and contentment in my life,
Maybe I would hurt more because I was seeking God's will more,
Maybe my life would get harder,
Maybe I would cry more,
Maybe my heart would be broken more for what breaks God's,
Maybe I would get hurt more,
Maybe I would get my heart broken again,
Maybe I would love unabashedly,
Maybe more people would come to know Christ,
Maybe God would change the world with my life.
Lately I have been thinking a lot about this concept, and just working through the idea that I want to walk through any door and any path the Lord has put before me regardless of what is going on or the result.
This was aided by today's sermon by Mark Batterson about how sometimes God's plan does not make sense for 55-1500 years... He listed several stories in the Bible that the individuals would likely have said "thanks but no thanks" and would have chosen to write it differently, but that later, and sometimes 1500 years (and however many generations that is) later it all makes perfect beautiful sense as to why something happened the way it did. He also pointed out that when God does miracles, they never are convenient, and often really get in the way of life and our plans. Such an interesting thought.
Am I open to be inconvenienced for God?.. Gosh I hope so.
I guess I just feel like I am at this place right now where I know that some crazy things are coming around the corner, some probably scary, others exciting, likely some stressful things, and everything in between, but what I know above and beyond that is I desire God's will over my own. With Him directing and taking the lead I have no reason to fear...
Not my own, but yours my King.
Oct 18, 2011
Sola Scriptura...
Last Sunday at church (I love my church), Mark Batterson talked about Sola Scriptura for our new series Sola. I loved the entire message, it had this feeling of being a foundation building, crack sealing, re-centering type message that really just built up with information that made sense and was thought provoking. I have been sifting through the information for a couple days now, letting my spirit dwell and let it linger.. Now, I think it is time to share some of my thoughts...
The verse we looked at was Psalm 119:1-8,
1 Blessed are those whose ways are blameless,
who walk according to the law of the LORD.
2 Blessed are those who keep his statutes
and seek him with all their heart—
3 they do no wrong
but follow his ways.
4 You have laid down precepts
that are to be fully obeyed.
5 Oh, that my ways were steadfast
in obeying your decrees!
6 Then I would not be put to shame
when I consider all your commands.
7 I will praise you with an upright heart
as I learn your righteous laws.
8 I will obey your decrees;
do not utterly forsake me.
The sermon went through the importance of the Bible to us as believers, but in a very unique way. So, highlighting some of the things, Mark Batterson pointed out that there were 40 writers over 1600 years, on 3 continents, and in 3 languages, and it is all equally inspired, but depending on our situation not all scripture is equally applicable.
He went through the thoughts that Scripture is useful and does not return void (Is. 55). The voice behind scripture is both all powerful and all knowing. It is an authority, and when I have a problem with something it says, regardless of how I feel, I am wrong. Which, let's be honest, that is a really hard concept to swallow...
Much to my amusement he pointed out that no one likes authority... but, today the dominant authority is "they" ... But, the problem is, WHO IS "THEY"?.. I dunno.. but they said so....
Sola Scriptura is the final authority, and whether we like it or not, the Bible interprets us to ourselves... Whoa. I have never thought about that before, but the more I read the Bible and dig in, the more I understand who I am, good, bad, ugly, and beautiful.
He also jokingly pointed out that we are really just "inspired dirt" lol love it!
Several other points worth mentioning.. When we first read the scripture, it is merely theory. Until we experience something that is applicable, then it becomes our reality. He also pointed out that often times we go to the Bible to correct it instead of letting it correct us.
He pointed out 3 things I am not sure I have ever thought about before.. The bible was not meant to merely be read through, it was meant to be prayed through, to be meditated through, to be done.
He thankfully pointed out that no one reads the Bible "too much" and none of us read even as much as we should, so the idea of this being a sermon to lay on the guilt is not even applicable here, it is merely to bring to light things we need to know, educate us, and help us to understand and grow.
He ended with this thought "You might be the only Bible some people read. How good of a translation are you?" ... Whoa.
The thing that I loved about this sermon is that it was a solid building up of the foundation of what I believe. There were parts that made me feel guilty, excited, solemn, confused, awestruck.. but mostly just completely grateful that I am able to understand and grow, and truly have a chance to let the scriptures rebuke me and grow me. How totally and utterly blessed am I.
The verse we looked at was Psalm 119:1-8,
1 Blessed are those whose ways are blameless,
who walk according to the law of the LORD.
2 Blessed are those who keep his statutes
and seek him with all their heart—
3 they do no wrong
but follow his ways.
4 You have laid down precepts
that are to be fully obeyed.
5 Oh, that my ways were steadfast
in obeying your decrees!
6 Then I would not be put to shame
when I consider all your commands.
7 I will praise you with an upright heart
as I learn your righteous laws.
8 I will obey your decrees;
do not utterly forsake me.
The sermon went through the importance of the Bible to us as believers, but in a very unique way. So, highlighting some of the things, Mark Batterson pointed out that there were 40 writers over 1600 years, on 3 continents, and in 3 languages, and it is all equally inspired, but depending on our situation not all scripture is equally applicable.
He went through the thoughts that Scripture is useful and does not return void (Is. 55). The voice behind scripture is both all powerful and all knowing. It is an authority, and when I have a problem with something it says, regardless of how I feel, I am wrong. Which, let's be honest, that is a really hard concept to swallow...
Much to my amusement he pointed out that no one likes authority... but, today the dominant authority is "they" ... But, the problem is, WHO IS "THEY"?.. I dunno.. but they said so....
Sola Scriptura is the final authority, and whether we like it or not, the Bible interprets us to ourselves... Whoa. I have never thought about that before, but the more I read the Bible and dig in, the more I understand who I am, good, bad, ugly, and beautiful.
He also jokingly pointed out that we are really just "inspired dirt" lol love it!
Several other points worth mentioning.. When we first read the scripture, it is merely theory. Until we experience something that is applicable, then it becomes our reality. He also pointed out that often times we go to the Bible to correct it instead of letting it correct us.
He pointed out 3 things I am not sure I have ever thought about before.. The bible was not meant to merely be read through, it was meant to be prayed through, to be meditated through, to be done.
He thankfully pointed out that no one reads the Bible "too much" and none of us read even as much as we should, so the idea of this being a sermon to lay on the guilt is not even applicable here, it is merely to bring to light things we need to know, educate us, and help us to understand and grow.
He ended with this thought "You might be the only Bible some people read. How good of a translation are you?" ... Whoa.
The thing that I loved about this sermon is that it was a solid building up of the foundation of what I believe. There were parts that made me feel guilty, excited, solemn, confused, awestruck.. but mostly just completely grateful that I am able to understand and grow, and truly have a chance to let the scriptures rebuke me and grow me. How totally and utterly blessed am I.
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