I have been toying with the idea in my head to change things up a bit... Shocker right?
Although really, the change would only take place online, and it would be in the form of creating a new blog and website for myself... But, it would be change none the less.
I love blogging, I love sharing my thoughts and life with the digital realm. But, mostly I love the people that my blog connects me to. I love how God uses this platform and medium to speak to the hearts of people (not just the one I write, but soo many others).
For example, I am considering doing something a little bit more like my online friend Renee Fischer, or like this collection of women, or even still like this blog for new or soon to be marrieds. Obviously it would be like these in terms of the fact that it would become more dynamic and engaging, but it would be in my flare and style.
Honestly though, my biggest worry against making this move is my ability to move all of my 700+ posts to this new site. I mean, as much as I love change, this blog is an intimate history and chronological description of God's story in my life... it would have to come with me. Although, I am fairly certain I can make the transition... But, it would of course take work and time to make the move.
However, the thought of making the transition and exploring what it would look like to invest more in my writing online.. I like this thought just because I have talked to people and received numerous e-mails or messages about how much a particular post helped someone. I love that. In the moments and times when I have nothing to share or I hurt too deeply to express well, I write and put whatever I can out there because there is a chance that it might impact someone else.
How could I say no if all of this work sews just one seed for Jesus?.. Or waters just one fertile plant? Or encourages someone struggling? Or reminds someone they are loved unconditionally? Or helps someone express forgiveness? Or gives words to the voiceless?.. How could I choose not to write if just one post has the chance to change someone's eternal life?
No, I will continue to write, because what if?...
The real choice now is do I stay here or migrate and give myself more possibilities?
Showing posts with label Jesus. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jesus. Show all posts
Jan 15, 2013
Jan 13, 2013
Why Help?...
I have been thinking lately about the idea of why we help others.
Sometimes I think we "help" those "less fortunate" than ourselves for credit or recognition. Not always obviously, but sometimes it is even just wanting credit from the person we are helping... Then there are other times when I think we are told to help, and we obey, but in obeying find ourselves feeling incredibly awkward. I have had several instances lately where I feel like God has told me to step in and do something instantly without question. Ironically I find I get incredibly awkward in those moments because I am purely following the Holy Spirit, yet I want no recognition, so it is almost as though I do not want anyone to notice... Even though the particular situations require lots of people around to notice.
Then, on a totally different side, we help people despite themselves. We fight for what is right on their behalf, even though we often are fighting them instead of someone else...
***Pause*** Let me be explicitly clear here, I am not referring to everyone or even close to everyone... It will be clear in a few moments what I am talking about, just stick with me.
Helping can be frustrating business sometimes. I mean really, I have DOZENS of stories of helping people at my church, some funny, annoying, frustrating, infuriating, and many more emotions... and it has only been a few months! Yet ironically, I spend most of my time helping by actually fighting for change within themselves; usually nicely.. but sometimes bluntly... and still other times I completely ignore their bad behavior in order to get them one step closer. (Yup, I just referred to some Christian adults as having bad behavior...)
I find that I keep having to remind myself is that this is purely a season, this is where the heavy lifting comes in, and quite frankly, no matter how I feel I have been told to go and do, and I have no choice but to be obedient.
My job, or at least a huge portion of it is to be a catalyst for change... Actually, if I am being honest, my job is a lot of things... But, mostly my job is to teach people HOW to change. Not because we want everyone to look the same, act the same, smell the same (ew), or speak the same.. But because we want everyone to serve as God has made them uniquely and specifically to do. We want everyone to grow in a way that speaks to their own hearts and minds. A Christ follower should be serving and growing constantly, and in order to do that, we have to change... constantly.
Yet, if we have not ever been in a place or position that has forced change, we tend to stay mostly the same. Sometimes staying the same is reflected in our hair (clearly not mine), our manner of speaking or in the case of "the church" it comes in the form of our comfort zones and the places we are terrified to touch or go. So, my job is to create the space and opportunity for people to learn how to change... I work to give them the tools that will make the process one that each person understands how it works on their level. What makes creating space for change difficult is that, it looks as different as each person that attends our church... which means that everything I do to create space and encourage growth becomes a full frontal assault to someone no matter what I do.
Thankfully (not even joking), the Lord has been with me, and in moments where I was about to lose it on some poor afraid of change soul, God intervened and took care of me and the person I was engaged with. In some instances I was able to clearly see the words and actions for what they were, nervousness. In other cases I was able to respond to what they meant instead of what they were saying. While still other instances, I was given the gift of silence.. No really, for me that does not come easily or often...
I have also been thinking about all of the minor little things I do every. single. day. to help institute change in the hearts of the hundreds of people who attend my church, and subsequently the hundreds of people they have then contact with on a regular basis outside of "the church"... Cause let's be honest here, it only will mean something if the people who currently go to my church learn to grow and change, and then in turn reach out to those they have contact with who do not currently go to church or know Christ.
What I have also been thinking of is how no matter what I do, someone doesn't like it, while at the very same time it is an answer to someone else's prayers. How bizarre... And, talk about having to know where you are going, why you are headed in that direction, and then on-top of it all pray.. lots.
So, if it is so difficult sometimes, why do I help? Because I care. Genuinely. Deep down in my very core, in every fiber of who I am, I care. I was made to care, I was broken to have compassion, I care what happens in your eternal destination. I care what happens to the eternal destinations of the hundreds of people in your sphere of influence. It matters to me that each person be pushed to in turn learn why it matters that they help.
And, no matter what people think or say, I can, and will change the world.
Not me as in Krista by herself, in her own strength; but, "me" as in God created me uniquely and specifically, and He is going to use me to make His kingdom come here on earth as it is in heaven unlike anyone else. Just like He will use each one of us to do the exact same thing, especially if we intentionally bow and bend our hearts towards Him.
Why do I help others in the joy, fun, exciting, frustrating, awkward, infuriating, and uncertain things? Because God has told me to. There is no other reason.
Sometimes I think we "help" those "less fortunate" than ourselves for credit or recognition. Not always obviously, but sometimes it is even just wanting credit from the person we are helping... Then there are other times when I think we are told to help, and we obey, but in obeying find ourselves feeling incredibly awkward. I have had several instances lately where I feel like God has told me to step in and do something instantly without question. Ironically I find I get incredibly awkward in those moments because I am purely following the Holy Spirit, yet I want no recognition, so it is almost as though I do not want anyone to notice... Even though the particular situations require lots of people around to notice.
Then, on a totally different side, we help people despite themselves. We fight for what is right on their behalf, even though we often are fighting them instead of someone else...
***Pause*** Let me be explicitly clear here, I am not referring to everyone or even close to everyone... It will be clear in a few moments what I am talking about, just stick with me.
Helping can be frustrating business sometimes. I mean really, I have DOZENS of stories of helping people at my church, some funny, annoying, frustrating, infuriating, and many more emotions... and it has only been a few months! Yet ironically, I spend most of my time helping by actually fighting for change within themselves; usually nicely.. but sometimes bluntly... and still other times I completely ignore their bad behavior in order to get them one step closer. (Yup, I just referred to some Christian adults as having bad behavior...)
I find that I keep having to remind myself is that this is purely a season, this is where the heavy lifting comes in, and quite frankly, no matter how I feel I have been told to go and do, and I have no choice but to be obedient.
My job, or at least a huge portion of it is to be a catalyst for change... Actually, if I am being honest, my job is a lot of things... But, mostly my job is to teach people HOW to change. Not because we want everyone to look the same, act the same, smell the same (ew), or speak the same.. But because we want everyone to serve as God has made them uniquely and specifically to do. We want everyone to grow in a way that speaks to their own hearts and minds. A Christ follower should be serving and growing constantly, and in order to do that, we have to change... constantly.
Yet, if we have not ever been in a place or position that has forced change, we tend to stay mostly the same. Sometimes staying the same is reflected in our hair (clearly not mine), our manner of speaking or in the case of "the church" it comes in the form of our comfort zones and the places we are terrified to touch or go. So, my job is to create the space and opportunity for people to learn how to change... I work to give them the tools that will make the process one that each person understands how it works on their level. What makes creating space for change difficult is that, it looks as different as each person that attends our church... which means that everything I do to create space and encourage growth becomes a full frontal assault to someone no matter what I do.
Thankfully (not even joking), the Lord has been with me, and in moments where I was about to lose it on some poor afraid of change soul, God intervened and took care of me and the person I was engaged with. In some instances I was able to clearly see the words and actions for what they were, nervousness. In other cases I was able to respond to what they meant instead of what they were saying. While still other instances, I was given the gift of silence.. No really, for me that does not come easily or often...
I have also been thinking about all of the minor little things I do every. single. day. to help institute change in the hearts of the hundreds of people who attend my church, and subsequently the hundreds of people they have then contact with on a regular basis outside of "the church"... Cause let's be honest here, it only will mean something if the people who currently go to my church learn to grow and change, and then in turn reach out to those they have contact with who do not currently go to church or know Christ.
What I have also been thinking of is how no matter what I do, someone doesn't like it, while at the very same time it is an answer to someone else's prayers. How bizarre... And, talk about having to know where you are going, why you are headed in that direction, and then on-top of it all pray.. lots.
So, if it is so difficult sometimes, why do I help? Because I care. Genuinely. Deep down in my very core, in every fiber of who I am, I care. I was made to care, I was broken to have compassion, I care what happens in your eternal destination. I care what happens to the eternal destinations of the hundreds of people in your sphere of influence. It matters to me that each person be pushed to in turn learn why it matters that they help.
And, no matter what people think or say, I can, and will change the world.
Not me as in Krista by herself, in her own strength; but, "me" as in God created me uniquely and specifically, and He is going to use me to make His kingdom come here on earth as it is in heaven unlike anyone else. Just like He will use each one of us to do the exact same thing, especially if we intentionally bow and bend our hearts towards Him.
Why do I help others in the joy, fun, exciting, frustrating, awkward, infuriating, and uncertain things? Because God has told me to. There is no other reason.
Dec 29, 2012
I Don't Like Christians...
At one point or another as Christians (or non I suppose), we deal with the fact that often times we struggle more with Christians than we do with non-Christians... We all have our theories as to why that is, some more emotional than others and some entirely logical... But, I have been thinking... Who is supposed to reach the Christians?
I have been thinking about the various responses to what Christian's say, what they do, and how each of us tend to either respond or want to respond to those Christians.
Yet, no matter how we feel or don't feel, each of us have a role to play. -- Each of us are told to go and make disciples.
No matter your role in the body of Christ, you were told to make disciples. There is no excuse, no option, no wiggle room. It is simply: Go... In fact, there really is no room for "seasons" of ministry either. So, no matter what is going on in your life, we are told to make disciples.. Obviously this looks different every moment of your life, but we are never given the option of not making disciples.
Now, there is no doubt that this looks different for every person, but what the command also does is remove our ability to have an aversion to other Christians.
Why?
Because, you cannot make a disciple out of someone who does not believe or want to follow and learn about the same Truth you are teaching.
So, no matter how much Christians frustrate us, and no matter how much they say or do things we dislike... or we want to slap their face off for something they have said or done, we are told by Jesus Christ to make disciples of them. It pretty much takes away our "I hate being around Christians" excuse because Jesus didn't care how we felt about other Christians, He told us to go and love them and make them a disciple anyway.
In light of this thought, I challenge you in 2013 to refuse to make excuses for why you do not want to get involved with or hang out with or be around other Christians. Instead decide that no matter what you are going to reach out and make disciples of anyone who will allow you to... Refuse to make it about you, your feelings, and your dislike...
In 2013 choose to refuse to leave the Christians who do not understand, are misinformed, or hurting to someone else to care for. Decide it is your job to help them, love them, and disciple them.
I have been thinking about the various responses to what Christian's say, what they do, and how each of us tend to either respond or want to respond to those Christians.
Yet, no matter how we feel or don't feel, each of us have a role to play. -- Each of us are told to go and make disciples.
No matter your role in the body of Christ, you were told to make disciples. There is no excuse, no option, no wiggle room. It is simply: Go... In fact, there really is no room for "seasons" of ministry either. So, no matter what is going on in your life, we are told to make disciples.. Obviously this looks different every moment of your life, but we are never given the option of not making disciples.
Now, there is no doubt that this looks different for every person, but what the command also does is remove our ability to have an aversion to other Christians.
Why?
Because, you cannot make a disciple out of someone who does not believe or want to follow and learn about the same Truth you are teaching.
So, no matter how much Christians frustrate us, and no matter how much they say or do things we dislike... or we want to slap their face off for something they have said or done, we are told by Jesus Christ to make disciples of them. It pretty much takes away our "I hate being around Christians" excuse because Jesus didn't care how we felt about other Christians, He told us to go and love them and make them a disciple anyway.
In light of this thought, I challenge you in 2013 to refuse to make excuses for why you do not want to get involved with or hang out with or be around other Christians. Instead decide that no matter what you are going to reach out and make disciples of anyone who will allow you to... Refuse to make it about you, your feelings, and your dislike...
In 2013 choose to refuse to leave the Christians who do not understand, are misinformed, or hurting to someone else to care for. Decide it is your job to help them, love them, and disciple them.
Dec 15, 2012
CT Shooting...
There are so many things I could say about the awful shooting in CT... There are so many things I wish I could say... There are so many people I wish I could hug... But, really there is nothing I can say or do that would make it ok again, no words I can offer, no amount of hugs will take away the pain. I keep thinking about those parents, those children, all of the final moments, the thoughts and emotions that went through those small little bodies. The memories that will never go away.. My heart is totally broken for these families.
In the midst of all of it, I wish I had the chance to tell them about Jesus, about receiving comfort from the only one who can give true comfort. I wish I knew why bad things happen like this, I wish I could explain with elegance why this doesn't make sense, but that it will one day.. All I know is that Jesus is the only thing that will make this ok again.
This song is Flags by one of my favorite artists Brooke Fraser. This song is a beautiful description of how I feel about this tragedy, it speaks to the hurting and the mourning and the Truth of what is to come.
To all of the parents, brothers, sister, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and friends of those that are affected by the CT shooting, I am so deeply sorry for your loss. I am praying for you all, and know that Jesus, the only one who can and will make this right one day loves you more than you understand and is beckoning you to come to Him, to share your grief, and to allow Him to heal your hearts.
In the midst of all of it, I wish I had the chance to tell them about Jesus, about receiving comfort from the only one who can give true comfort. I wish I knew why bad things happen like this, I wish I could explain with elegance why this doesn't make sense, but that it will one day.. All I know is that Jesus is the only thing that will make this ok again.
This song is Flags by one of my favorite artists Brooke Fraser. This song is a beautiful description of how I feel about this tragedy, it speaks to the hurting and the mourning and the Truth of what is to come.
To all of the parents, brothers, sister, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and friends of those that are affected by the CT shooting, I am so deeply sorry for your loss. I am praying for you all, and know that Jesus, the only one who can and will make this right one day loves you more than you understand and is beckoning you to come to Him, to share your grief, and to allow Him to heal your hearts.
Dec 10, 2012
The Baby Makes it Simple...
Last Friday night around 115 women ate a beautiful dinner together, we listened to an amazingly talented high school girl play the piano, and I spoke about Christmas.
To be honest it was a very unique experience because it was the first time I had spoken in this way.
I loved it.
I spent a lot of time beforehand praying that God would use my body, use my words, and that He would touch the hearts of the women sitting listening to me... It was interesting preparing for what I was going to talk about because the women ranged from 16-90, most attended our church, but not all of them, and I did not know the majority of them.. Although most of them know who I am.
When I was trying to come up with my topic I talked with my dad, -- My never ending supply of ideas and resources haha -- and we came up with a fantastic illustration using my brothers... another endless supply of funny stories.
My brothers have this pretty funny tradition for Christmas.. They make each others gift the most difficult thing to open ever, and they only using the tools included to open the gift. There are times that the gift takes almost an hour to open! One year (pictures included) there was this paper machete/plumbers glue thing that made the entire house smell disgusting.. Come to find out, once all was said and done and torn open, inside was gross dirty socks... All the while, there was a fake bottom with a beautifully wrapped nice gift. Had my little brother noticed the fake bottom he could have avoided opening the disgusting dirty socks...
When I talked to the ladies on Friday night, I explained this whole tradition, this particular experience, and the correlation it has to Christmas, Christ, and Christianity as a whole.
We take a beautiful gift, and tell others "this is Christ, this is Christmas.. open the gift".. and once they do, they find this gross, disgusting, smelly... 'gift' full of dirty socks.
Who would want that 'gift'?!
Truly, Christmas is about this beautiful baby that was sent to us as a gift.. and, it is as simple as that. This baby, that was small, cute, and smelled like a baby, was sent to us to die because God loves us. Yet, somehow, we turn this gift into dirty socks when presenting it to others. We make Christmas, Christ, and Christianity into this gross thing it was never meant to be.
This beautiful baby came to love us, to die for us, and right away this fact was made clear when Myrrh was given as one of the first gifts to this baby.. You see, Myrrh is used in burials. So, this beautiful baby, who we celebrate on Christmas was born to die from the beginning.
He did not come for who you SHOULD be, but because He loves who you are, and wants to meet you exactly where you are.
He wants to save you because He loves you right now.
It is literally that simple, and yet we make it all into this thing that it is not. We stress ourselves out during Christmas, get impatient standing in line for presents people do not actually need, we spend money we don't need to, and head to parties we feel obligated to go to because we make Christmas this thing it was never meant to be. It was meant to be a celebration of this beautiful baby who loves you...
He. Loves. You. -- As you are, right now; that is the beautiful gift.
This baby; Christ, He makes Christmas and Christianity simple. Let it stay that way.
To be honest it was a very unique experience because it was the first time I had spoken in this way.
I loved it.
I spent a lot of time beforehand praying that God would use my body, use my words, and that He would touch the hearts of the women sitting listening to me... It was interesting preparing for what I was going to talk about because the women ranged from 16-90, most attended our church, but not all of them, and I did not know the majority of them.. Although most of them know who I am.
When I was trying to come up with my topic I talked with my dad, -- My never ending supply of ideas and resources haha -- and we came up with a fantastic illustration using my brothers... another endless supply of funny stories.
My brothers have this pretty funny tradition for Christmas.. They make each others gift the most difficult thing to open ever, and they only using the tools included to open the gift. There are times that the gift takes almost an hour to open! One year (pictures included) there was this paper machete/plumbers glue thing that made the entire house smell disgusting.. Come to find out, once all was said and done and torn open, inside was gross dirty socks... All the while, there was a fake bottom with a beautifully wrapped nice gift. Had my little brother noticed the fake bottom he could have avoided opening the disgusting dirty socks...
When I talked to the ladies on Friday night, I explained this whole tradition, this particular experience, and the correlation it has to Christmas, Christ, and Christianity as a whole.
We take a beautiful gift, and tell others "this is Christ, this is Christmas.. open the gift".. and once they do, they find this gross, disgusting, smelly... 'gift' full of dirty socks.
Who would want that 'gift'?!
Truly, Christmas is about this beautiful baby that was sent to us as a gift.. and, it is as simple as that. This baby, that was small, cute, and smelled like a baby, was sent to us to die because God loves us. Yet, somehow, we turn this gift into dirty socks when presenting it to others. We make Christmas, Christ, and Christianity into this gross thing it was never meant to be.
This beautiful baby came to love us, to die for us, and right away this fact was made clear when Myrrh was given as one of the first gifts to this baby.. You see, Myrrh is used in burials. So, this beautiful baby, who we celebrate on Christmas was born to die from the beginning.
He did not come for who you SHOULD be, but because He loves who you are, and wants to meet you exactly where you are.
He wants to save you because He loves you right now.
It is literally that simple, and yet we make it all into this thing that it is not. We stress ourselves out during Christmas, get impatient standing in line for presents people do not actually need, we spend money we don't need to, and head to parties we feel obligated to go to because we make Christmas this thing it was never meant to be. It was meant to be a celebration of this beautiful baby who loves you...
He. Loves. You. -- As you are, right now; that is the beautiful gift.
This baby; Christ, He makes Christmas and Christianity simple. Let it stay that way.
Dec 2, 2012
Power of Empowering...
I love my job.
Seriously. I mean, I have rough days, long days, hysterical days, unproductive days, stressful days, and everything else that can be associated with a job.. But, there is a purpose that I was made to fulfill at this point in my life, and I love it.
One of my favorite things about my job is that I get to empower people to find where Christ is leading them.
I love watching it dawn on people that they can do what God is laying on their heart...
I love walking people through the process of frustration or uncertainty and fear to confidence in their calling.. How cool is that?
There is a freedom experienced in being empowered to do what you were called to do. The amount of things that can happen, the people that can have their lives changed forever because others were empowered, it is truly amazing and inspiring.
When church does what church is supposed to do, nothing, absolutely nothing can get in our way because God is working and moving through dozens if not hundreds of people. The ripple affect of that is astronomical. The tidal wave is ridiculously large, and nothing can stop it. When the Holy Spirit moves, and hundreds of people follow, you cannot help but be swept up and moved too.
I am beginning to see the positive effects of empowering people. I can feel it in my own life, I now work at a place, and for a boss that tells me to "go and do" without partaking in the planning or details. I am experiencing what it means to be trusted and encouraged to stand up and follow where Christ is leading.. And because of it, I can feel the shift inside of me... And soon, others will begin to feel the shift inside of them... God is moving, and when we are empowered, we too will move mountains and bring glory to God.
It is awesome.
I love what cannot help but come by empowering others.
Seriously. I mean, I have rough days, long days, hysterical days, unproductive days, stressful days, and everything else that can be associated with a job.. But, there is a purpose that I was made to fulfill at this point in my life, and I love it.
One of my favorite things about my job is that I get to empower people to find where Christ is leading them.
I love watching it dawn on people that they can do what God is laying on their heart...
I love walking people through the process of frustration or uncertainty and fear to confidence in their calling.. How cool is that?
There is a freedom experienced in being empowered to do what you were called to do. The amount of things that can happen, the people that can have their lives changed forever because others were empowered, it is truly amazing and inspiring.
When church does what church is supposed to do, nothing, absolutely nothing can get in our way because God is working and moving through dozens if not hundreds of people. The ripple affect of that is astronomical. The tidal wave is ridiculously large, and nothing can stop it. When the Holy Spirit moves, and hundreds of people follow, you cannot help but be swept up and moved too.
I am beginning to see the positive effects of empowering people. I can feel it in my own life, I now work at a place, and for a boss that tells me to "go and do" without partaking in the planning or details. I am experiencing what it means to be trusted and encouraged to stand up and follow where Christ is leading.. And because of it, I can feel the shift inside of me... And soon, others will begin to feel the shift inside of them... God is moving, and when we are empowered, we too will move mountains and bring glory to God.
It is awesome.
I love what cannot help but come by empowering others.
Nov 8, 2012
Life of Others...
I have said it for years, life gets depressing the more you focus on yourself. I am not sure how God worked it out this way, but the more I focus on myself, the more depressed I get about the dumb little things.. Such as, my acne, the 3 lbs I wish was not a part of my stomach, the ever present exhaustion I feel in the mornings, the annoyance of not being able to snap crackle and pop everything back into place in the mornings, the hang nail that requires me to cut my long nails... See?!.. Dumb.
However, somehow (seriously it is like magic), the more I focus on those around me, their needs, their insecurities, their frustrations, their pains, hurts, or just the mundane details of their lives, the more I feel content inside and forget to care that I have split ends and need a hair trimming.
One of the things I love about my job is that I spend all day thinking, strategizing, praying, reading, and talking with other people. I spend all day trying to help others be better versions of themselves... I spend all day trying to encourage those around me... And, almost like magic, spending so much time purposefully paying attention to others causes me to forget to stop in front of the mirror to see if my outfit adequately hides the 3 lbs extra that I dislike about my midsection.
Last night I was talking with one of my roomies from DC, and I realized that I miss her like crazy. We could go a couple weeks without seeing each other while living together, but I always felt her supportive presence in my life. We were catching up on all the changes, new things going on, and the various things we each needed prayer over, and at that point I realized that not only is God amazing at the way He is working things out. Even though I do not have things together completely, He is somehow making things happen... and quickly. And, while from an outside perspective I have made friends, and met so many amazing, loving, and caring people that I am excited to get to know more, I have yet to make my group of friends that I can call just to hang out and eat frosting with (haha.. but no really.. everyone needs that friend.)
For as long as this lasts, I am excited that my job is cultivating a pattern that everything in my life is about other people.. I hope that I have started on an entirely new path for the rest of my life.. I love feeling like I am getting paid to live my life by loving Jesus and loving others... Seriously, sweet.
However, somehow (seriously it is like magic), the more I focus on those around me, their needs, their insecurities, their frustrations, their pains, hurts, or just the mundane details of their lives, the more I feel content inside and forget to care that I have split ends and need a hair trimming.
One of the things I love about my job is that I spend all day thinking, strategizing, praying, reading, and talking with other people. I spend all day trying to help others be better versions of themselves... I spend all day trying to encourage those around me... And, almost like magic, spending so much time purposefully paying attention to others causes me to forget to stop in front of the mirror to see if my outfit adequately hides the 3 lbs extra that I dislike about my midsection.
Last night I was talking with one of my roomies from DC, and I realized that I miss her like crazy. We could go a couple weeks without seeing each other while living together, but I always felt her supportive presence in my life. We were catching up on all the changes, new things going on, and the various things we each needed prayer over, and at that point I realized that not only is God amazing at the way He is working things out. Even though I do not have things together completely, He is somehow making things happen... and quickly. And, while from an outside perspective I have made friends, and met so many amazing, loving, and caring people that I am excited to get to know more, I have yet to make my group of friends that I can call just to hang out and eat frosting with (haha.. but no really.. everyone needs that friend.)
For as long as this lasts, I am excited that my job is cultivating a pattern that everything in my life is about other people.. I hope that I have started on an entirely new path for the rest of my life.. I love feeling like I am getting paid to live my life by loving Jesus and loving others... Seriously, sweet.
Oct 19, 2012
Leisure...
I remember once a while ago that my pastor in DC, Mark Batterson
said that it takes about a year in a half to two years to write a
book.. So, as he saw it, he gains about two years of knowledge or wisdom
every time he reads a book. I love that idea! It makes me feel a bit
like the Matrix when they would download new programs almost
instantaneously, and then they become experienced in things like Kung-Fu
or flying a helicopter... Reading books can feel a little like that.
I am reading a book for work (I get paid for this?!), Finish the Mission, and it is full of wisdom from so many amazing men of God. One of the things it points out is that, whether we are being sent to the ends of the earth or next door, Christians are not at our leisure... We do not get to choose to stroll through or squander our blessings.
I like the idea that we are not afforded excuses for not getting involved and reaching others for Christ. We are not allowed to take our time, but instead we should feel a sense of urgency, I mean, after all, people die every single day without knowing Christ. One of the points that is made in the book is that the Bible is clear that everyone is not without blame, and that some people die knowing just enough about God to be rebellious. As Christians, sometimes we like to make up these obscure scenarios, what if an innocent guy in Africa or the Amazon die without ever having heard about Christ, would God still send them to hell?.. The author of one of the chapters points out that in the scenario we give, of course God would not send him to hell because he is innocent... The problem is no one is innocent, no one is without blame, everyone is rebellious. While I know the Truth in that statement, it definitely caused me to pause and really dwell on the idea once more that we are ALL broken, fallen, and rebellious. Not one is innocent. Ouch.
I love books that challenge me to think deeper, dive deeper, stretch, and grow in my understanding, compassion, and most of all my faith in the one God. I have a long road ahead of me, God has a lot of crazy things coming, most of which I have no concept of... But, what I am most excited about are all the people that God is going to reach, all the things He is going to teach me through them, and all the ways I am going to have my world rocked and my mind blown because of His favor and blessings... Yet, these things serve as a challenge and a reminder, I am not at my leisure, I do not get to stroll through this challenge or take my time.
People must encounter Christ.
I am reading a book for work (I get paid for this?!), Finish the Mission, and it is full of wisdom from so many amazing men of God. One of the things it points out is that, whether we are being sent to the ends of the earth or next door, Christians are not at our leisure... We do not get to choose to stroll through or squander our blessings.
I like the idea that we are not afforded excuses for not getting involved and reaching others for Christ. We are not allowed to take our time, but instead we should feel a sense of urgency, I mean, after all, people die every single day without knowing Christ. One of the points that is made in the book is that the Bible is clear that everyone is not without blame, and that some people die knowing just enough about God to be rebellious. As Christians, sometimes we like to make up these obscure scenarios, what if an innocent guy in Africa or the Amazon die without ever having heard about Christ, would God still send them to hell?.. The author of one of the chapters points out that in the scenario we give, of course God would not send him to hell because he is innocent... The problem is no one is innocent, no one is without blame, everyone is rebellious. While I know the Truth in that statement, it definitely caused me to pause and really dwell on the idea once more that we are ALL broken, fallen, and rebellious. Not one is innocent. Ouch.
I love books that challenge me to think deeper, dive deeper, stretch, and grow in my understanding, compassion, and most of all my faith in the one God. I have a long road ahead of me, God has a lot of crazy things coming, most of which I have no concept of... But, what I am most excited about are all the people that God is going to reach, all the things He is going to teach me through them, and all the ways I am going to have my world rocked and my mind blown because of His favor and blessings... Yet, these things serve as a challenge and a reminder, I am not at my leisure, I do not get to stroll through this challenge or take my time.
People must encounter Christ.
Sep 19, 2012
Nefarious Merchant of Souls...
Nefarious: "extremely wicked or villainous; iniquitous: a nefarious plot."
Tonight I watched a movie at church titled "Nefarious Merchant of Souls" It is a documentary (the first in a three part series) about modern slavery and sex trafficking. It takes you to several places around the world and gives you a glimpse into the reasons and people causing the problem as well as a perspective from the women in each situation. The movie takes you to Moldova, Amsterdam, Thailand, Cambodia, Switzerland and Las Vegas. Each place has a culture that plays a role into the reasons behind prostitution and sex trafficking.
From the very beginning of the movie it is clear that the whole thing will be hard hitting and a very real picture into the entire world of sex trafficking. They interview women who have gotten out, women who have gotten out only to go back to it after the interview, men who pimped out women, men who bought the women, men who own the stores in the red light district they work in, and men and women who are working against the sex trafficking around the world in different capacities.
At the beginning I was saddened but "fine" as they were explaining methodically the various aspects of sex trafficking... Until they got to the portion talking about children in the industry in Thailand and Cambodia.. At that point I began to cry, and continued to cry as they moved through the various countries and finished in Las Vegas. Then, near the end of the movie a few of the women that have gotten out of prostitution and sex trafficking began to explain their encounter with Christ, how they almost died or what caused them to meet Him and know that He has forgiven them, He loves them unconditionally, and that they are forgiven for everything... And that they are valuable to Him. I cried for their pain, but also for their joy in meeting the one Savior who can restore it all. I cried with both pain and joy because no one should ever know their experience, but also because our God is bigger.
I appreciate that a huge part of this movement and organization is prayer, and that they are able to give lots of examples of things they have prayed for and ways God has shown up... As well as they are able to point to the women's success rates in getting out of prostitution and sex trafficking for good because of the therapists reliance and use of prayer.
I plan on getting the movie so I can show it to others. I also plan on looking into the organizations and movement more.. and I plan on increasing my donations to Wellspring International, and encourage you to donate to them as well. I will also look into if I want to support another organization doing great work as well...
Tonight I watched a movie at church titled "Nefarious Merchant of Souls" It is a documentary (the first in a three part series) about modern slavery and sex trafficking. It takes you to several places around the world and gives you a glimpse into the reasons and people causing the problem as well as a perspective from the women in each situation. The movie takes you to Moldova, Amsterdam, Thailand, Cambodia, Switzerland and Las Vegas. Each place has a culture that plays a role into the reasons behind prostitution and sex trafficking.
From the very beginning of the movie it is clear that the whole thing will be hard hitting and a very real picture into the entire world of sex trafficking. They interview women who have gotten out, women who have gotten out only to go back to it after the interview, men who pimped out women, men who bought the women, men who own the stores in the red light district they work in, and men and women who are working against the sex trafficking around the world in different capacities.
At the beginning I was saddened but "fine" as they were explaining methodically the various aspects of sex trafficking... Until they got to the portion talking about children in the industry in Thailand and Cambodia.. At that point I began to cry, and continued to cry as they moved through the various countries and finished in Las Vegas. Then, near the end of the movie a few of the women that have gotten out of prostitution and sex trafficking began to explain their encounter with Christ, how they almost died or what caused them to meet Him and know that He has forgiven them, He loves them unconditionally, and that they are forgiven for everything... And that they are valuable to Him. I cried for their pain, but also for their joy in meeting the one Savior who can restore it all. I cried with both pain and joy because no one should ever know their experience, but also because our God is bigger.
I appreciate that a huge part of this movement and organization is prayer, and that they are able to give lots of examples of things they have prayed for and ways God has shown up... As well as they are able to point to the women's success rates in getting out of prostitution and sex trafficking for good because of the therapists reliance and use of prayer.
I plan on getting the movie so I can show it to others. I also plan on looking into the organizations and movement more.. and I plan on increasing my donations to Wellspring International, and encourage you to donate to them as well. I will also look into if I want to support another organization doing great work as well...
I think the thing that still has my emotions reeling.. and grasping at straws for how to deal with is the realization that so much evil is in the world... So much pain, dispair, hopelessness, fear, and senseless hurting of others.. We were not meant to live like this or ever understand these things. My heart hurts for the little girls who believe they have no value, and for the women who have spent years in situations that are dangerous and have caused them to become jaded and hurting.
I am so thankful for the men especially that are doing things to end sex trafficking, because it is also men causing the problem, and there is just something comforting about men who stand up for what is wrong.
I am thankful for the women involved either due to them having gotten out of it themselves, or due to it being laid on their heart, because it is mothers that are putting their daughters into this lifestyle.
I am so thankful that Christ forgives, changes, restores, makes new, and never leaves us. I am even more thankful of the stories in the movie of how Christ met each person and changed their life.
May 9, 2012
Gay Marriage and Christians...
I spend a great deal of my day online, it is a part of my job, and I love it. I enjoy reading news articles, interest stories, blogs, twitter, facebook, youtube.. I mean you name it and I at least partially am aware of what it is (or will be tomorrow haha).
My favorite medium is blogs, I love them. I love getting a deeper insight into someone's view of the world, cause let's be honest, 140 characters while providing a wonderful platform for laughs just does not connect my heart to yours... So, I blog.
However, upon occasion I get fed up with the "trends," I get tired of reading all the different perspectives on things going on in the world, I get frustrated at both sides of the argument attacking the other for their incompetence, their ignorance etc... etc.. Each side claiming the other is for one reason or another stupid, idiot, un-christian, christian, unloving, loving.. blah blah blah. I just get tired of reading the (thankfully) first amendment right to share opinions.
While I definitely have my own opinions of gay marriage, Obama, government official's views on religion and gay marriage.. the thing I keep coming back to is:
"Conduct yourselves with wisdom toward outsiders, making the most of the opportunity. Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should respond to each person." - Colossians 4:5-6
Did you catch that?
My favorite medium is blogs, I love them. I love getting a deeper insight into someone's view of the world, cause let's be honest, 140 characters while providing a wonderful platform for laughs just does not connect my heart to yours... So, I blog.
However, upon occasion I get fed up with the "trends," I get tired of reading all the different perspectives on things going on in the world, I get frustrated at both sides of the argument attacking the other for their incompetence, their ignorance etc... etc.. Each side claiming the other is for one reason or another stupid, idiot, un-christian, christian, unloving, loving.. blah blah blah. I just get tired of reading the (thankfully) first amendment right to share opinions.
While I definitely have my own opinions of gay marriage, Obama, government official's views on religion and gay marriage.. the thing I keep coming back to is:
"Conduct yourselves with wisdom toward outsiders, making the most of the opportunity. Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should respond to each person." - Colossians 4:5-6
Did you catch that?
"Conduct yourselves with wisdom toward outsiders,
making the most of the opportunity.
Let your speech always be with grace."
The thing that I am the most frustrated with is the lack of ACTUAL conversation about this (or any other hot topic) issues. What is NC saying by voting against gay marriage by such a resounding 20% (which is a huge margin)? Clearly there is reasoning there.. but no one is asking what it is, instead the people who think it is a mean or hateful decision are turning into bullies and name calling or accusing the people who voted against it of being (fill in the blank). Then, in response some Christians are not responding with grace. Instead, they are taking this opportunity to antagonize the situation... Yes, thank you for your sharp wit, but really shut up cause you are hurting the entire conversation at large...
Instead of taking this opportunity to reach out to a very hurt and broken community, and openly admit we are against the sin not the sinner, we are "fighting" back in a manner that causes our voice to get lost in the collective internet noise.
So, once again, as I have said before,
"You were made for so much more than these shadows of who you are clinging onto as your identity.
You were made for more."
And, once again, I always come back to caring more about the individual's state of
salvation and brokenness, and not really caring about the laws, the
public policies or the media's dogging of the issue... If I am going to
say I believe in the Bible and its Truths (capital T), and then if they
come into conflict with the government's laws, I have to choose the
Biblical laws over the government's.
And, to be clear, I have yet to meet anyone who is not completely and totally sinful. Your sexual orientation does not make you better or worse, it makes you fallen and broken.. regardless of if you are "straight" or "gay"... You are broken and sinful.
I am broken and sinful too.
"Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and of death....
For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." - Romans 8:1-2, 38-39
Mar 8, 2012
What is Kony 2012?...
Man, I feel like I got busy for a couple days at work and suddenly I see "Kony 2012" all over my social media outlets.. Which caused me to ask a few people what it was, they gave a few vague answers, I saw several videos floating around Facebook and Twitter, but did not have time to watch the videos until now.
While I am posting the video, I (true to fashion) want to share my thoughts. The video is 30 minutes long... Well. Worth. The. Watch. I cried while watching it, and if you know me, you realize I pretty much never cry...
But, you also know,
I love Africa
I love people
and I love Jesus...
(Jesus is listed last because studies show you will remember the last thing listed the most)
This video (that you are about to watch) is powerful, it is everything a movement SHOULD be. Unlike Occupy Wallstreet, this movement makes sense, it has goals that are SMART (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Time-Bound), the movement shows what to do, how to be involved, and is engaging. So, before I talk a bit about how I feel and what I plan on doing, watch this video... maybe with a tissue or sleeve handy...
If you do not watch the video (see the 3 things you can do at the bottom), the basic goal is to educate EVERYONE as to who Kony is, what he has done, and ensure that the people who CAN do something (politicians) are aware that we WANT them to do something, we want them to step in, and we want them to take the steps necessary to end this.
Here is another article from Foreign Policy that gives a whole lot of information on several parts of this... While I do not agree with his somewhat cynical view of this, I appreciate more information on the entire situation as a whole.
There are so many things about this video that grip my heart. First, there are SO many children that are feeling the affects of this one man (and likely his close military group as well). He is evil, likely controlled and tormented by demons, and his reign has gone one way too long.
To give some perspective, this started when I was one. That is too long.
Also, I love the passion of the man who met Jacob, I love that he is keeping his promise from so many years ago to a hurting and broken boy. I love that he shows how his own little boy even understands what needs to happen, and I love that he has not taken no for an answer.
I love Africa, I love little kids... I love little African boys.. and I am going to support Kony 2012 because I can, because I have the resources to do so, because I love Jesus, Africa, people, children, and do not think it is ever ok for us to stand by when we have the ability to do something, to make a difference.
This whole thing breaks my heart, so I will help.
If you did not watch the video (please do), here are the three quick take aways:
1. Sign the petition here.
2. Get the bracelet and Action Kit here.
3. Donate to Tri here.
Kony 2012.
While I am posting the video, I (true to fashion) want to share my thoughts. The video is 30 minutes long... Well. Worth. The. Watch. I cried while watching it, and if you know me, you realize I pretty much never cry...
But, you also know,
I love Africa
I love people
and I love Jesus...
(Jesus is listed last because studies show you will remember the last thing listed the most)
This video (that you are about to watch) is powerful, it is everything a movement SHOULD be. Unlike Occupy Wallstreet, this movement makes sense, it has goals that are SMART (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Time-Bound), the movement shows what to do, how to be involved, and is engaging. So, before I talk a bit about how I feel and what I plan on doing, watch this video... maybe with a tissue or sleeve handy...
If you do not watch the video (see the 3 things you can do at the bottom), the basic goal is to educate EVERYONE as to who Kony is, what he has done, and ensure that the people who CAN do something (politicians) are aware that we WANT them to do something, we want them to step in, and we want them to take the steps necessary to end this.
Here is another article from Foreign Policy that gives a whole lot of information on several parts of this... While I do not agree with his somewhat cynical view of this, I appreciate more information on the entire situation as a whole.
There are so many things about this video that grip my heart. First, there are SO many children that are feeling the affects of this one man (and likely his close military group as well). He is evil, likely controlled and tormented by demons, and his reign has gone one way too long.
To give some perspective, this started when I was one. That is too long.
Also, I love the passion of the man who met Jacob, I love that he is keeping his promise from so many years ago to a hurting and broken boy. I love that he shows how his own little boy even understands what needs to happen, and I love that he has not taken no for an answer.
I love Africa, I love little kids... I love little African boys.. and I am going to support Kony 2012 because I can, because I have the resources to do so, because I love Jesus, Africa, people, children, and do not think it is ever ok for us to stand by when we have the ability to do something, to make a difference.
This whole thing breaks my heart, so I will help.
If you did not watch the video (please do), here are the three quick take aways:
1. Sign the petition here.
2. Get the bracelet and Action Kit here.
3. Donate to Tri here.
Kony 2012.
Feb 23, 2012
True Joy...
My name is Krista Paula Beata (bee-ah-tuh). While it is unusual, and may sound odd, my name is very dear to me, there is an incredibly rich history behind my name... and I enjoy having two middle names.
You see, my parents named me (and all three of my siblings) based off of the meanings behind the names, they prayed for us, and felt compelled by the meanings they felt held true to who we were meant to be. My beautiful little sister and I both have two middle names, a tradition my older brother and sister in law kept when they had my most adorable niece (known to mankind), and one I will likely keep as well if I ever have a daughter. Making the history even deeper, both of my middle names come from my grossmama (German for grand-mama) and grosspapa (grand-papa), but even more than that, my name literally means "joyful little Christian."
I love it because every part of my name and the history behind it fit me. I very much enjoy the uniqueness that is the story behind my name, I love that the meaning fits me exactly...
Joy has typically been a fairly tangible characteristic of mine, and even more than that, I (like my dad) have a fairly loud laughter that gets more comments than anything else. It took me a while, but now I love the laugh that is often just a little too loud, very distinctive, and causes my entire body to partake in the laughter. One of the things I have found is that my laughter has a direct correlation to my joy... I laugh easily and often... and usually loudly when joy is down the core.
Joy is a choice, joy is hard... But, joy is also a gift I am so thankful my parents have been praying over me since before I was born, and one that seems to be woven into the very fibers of who I am because joy is where I am the most comfortable in my own skin.
There have definitely been periods of my life where I literally could not find joy, it was as if it had evaporated like the mist in the morning, and all that remained was a sweltering day followed by a pitch black night. During those times in my life, when I laid in bed at night, I remember thinking several times, "where has my joy gone?... Oh Lord, find it and bring it back to me..."
Every single time, the joy eventually comes back, not always right away, and sometimes it takes much... much longer than I would ever willingly choose, but it also brings with it an unexpected layer of faith that once again my sweet savior protected me through the heat of the day and carried me through the overwhelming darkness. Each time joy returned to my life, it brought with it an additional understanding of the difficulty it takes to choose joy, but also the absolute importance of joy as well.
True joy is not a result of naivety or a way of choosing not to see reality, there is something about true joy that ushers in hope, that paves a way for faith, and that replaces fear with peace. More specifically, the joy I am speaking about is not to every be confused with happiness, and definitely not to be mistaken for fake or fleeting. I am talking about an unmitigated joy to the very core. The type of joy that could only come from my Lord, my king. The kind of joy that resonates from within and somehow finds a way of reaching to the very core of those it touches as effortlessly as a feather wafting along on a breeze. True, authentic, unhindered joy... That is the joy that returns to me faithfully, brought to me like a perfectly wrapped gift from the God of the universe.
I am so thankful for true joy in my life.
You see, my parents named me (and all three of my siblings) based off of the meanings behind the names, they prayed for us, and felt compelled by the meanings they felt held true to who we were meant to be. My beautiful little sister and I both have two middle names, a tradition my older brother and sister in law kept when they had my most adorable niece (known to mankind), and one I will likely keep as well if I ever have a daughter. Making the history even deeper, both of my middle names come from my grossmama (German for grand-mama) and grosspapa (grand-papa), but even more than that, my name literally means "joyful little Christian."
I love it because every part of my name and the history behind it fit me. I very much enjoy the uniqueness that is the story behind my name, I love that the meaning fits me exactly...
Joy has typically been a fairly tangible characteristic of mine, and even more than that, I (like my dad) have a fairly loud laughter that gets more comments than anything else. It took me a while, but now I love the laugh that is often just a little too loud, very distinctive, and causes my entire body to partake in the laughter. One of the things I have found is that my laughter has a direct correlation to my joy... I laugh easily and often... and usually loudly when joy is down the core.
Joy is a choice, joy is hard... But, joy is also a gift I am so thankful my parents have been praying over me since before I was born, and one that seems to be woven into the very fibers of who I am because joy is where I am the most comfortable in my own skin.
There have definitely been periods of my life where I literally could not find joy, it was as if it had evaporated like the mist in the morning, and all that remained was a sweltering day followed by a pitch black night. During those times in my life, when I laid in bed at night, I remember thinking several times, "where has my joy gone?... Oh Lord, find it and bring it back to me..."
Every single time, the joy eventually comes back, not always right away, and sometimes it takes much... much longer than I would ever willingly choose, but it also brings with it an unexpected layer of faith that once again my sweet savior protected me through the heat of the day and carried me through the overwhelming darkness. Each time joy returned to my life, it brought with it an additional understanding of the difficulty it takes to choose joy, but also the absolute importance of joy as well.
True joy is not a result of naivety or a way of choosing not to see reality, there is something about true joy that ushers in hope, that paves a way for faith, and that replaces fear with peace. More specifically, the joy I am speaking about is not to every be confused with happiness, and definitely not to be mistaken for fake or fleeting. I am talking about an unmitigated joy to the very core. The type of joy that could only come from my Lord, my king. The kind of joy that resonates from within and somehow finds a way of reaching to the very core of those it touches as effortlessly as a feather wafting along on a breeze. True, authentic, unhindered joy... That is the joy that returns to me faithfully, brought to me like a perfectly wrapped gift from the God of the universe.
I am so thankful for true joy in my life.
Feb 11, 2012
Gay, Lesbian, Laws, and Christ...
There are so many times a day that I hear, see or read something having to do with the gay and lesbian community's situation, stances, legislative pushes, marketing campaigns, protests or the opposing positions from various "conservative communities" on all of the same topics. I have been thinking for quite a while about where my stance, my feelings, and my beliefs fall in line with these "issues."
A few (ok probably several) thoughts I have specifically in regards to the gay and lesbian or transgender "community," all the media, and issues regarding this topic...
First, it breaks my heart when anyone (gay or otherwise) attach their main identity to one random thing, be it sexual orientation, race or gender etc...
Hear me:
You were made for so much more than these shadows of who you are clinging onto as your identity.
You were made for more.
I, like everyone else, have personal views on the things that I read or hear about (regardless of the topic), such as legalizing marriage for all, don't ask don't tell, Hollywood's portrayals of gays and lesbians etc.. However, after thinking about these things for a while, I always come back to caring more about the individual's state of salvation and brokenness, and not really caring about the laws, the public policies or the media's dogging of the issue... If I am going to say I believe in the Bible and its Truths (capital T), and then if they come into conflict with the government's laws, I have to choose the Biblical laws over the government's.
While
I understand that politics can really accomplish some good things, ultimately we are charged to
fight the corruption of our society with the gospel, not the ballot box.
We want to change their hearts and expose them to Christ. Really, laws are primarily to protect the weak
or innocent from those who would harm them (i.e. do not murder, do not
steal, do not commit adultery, do not lie, etc.), laws are NOT about
changing hearts. We DO need moral laws, and while realistically, you can outlaw some
particularly destructive behaviors (especially those that harm others),
you simply cannot outlaw temptation... There are some places where God’s
law can encroach on the heart, but human law has no place (do not lust,
do not covet, etc.). The
political and legal fight on homosexuality (from both sides) tends to
cross over the boundary of what only God can forbid (because He can read the
heart) and what man should stay far away from (because we cannot read the
heart).
"We
also know that the law is made not for the righteous but for
lawbreakers and rebels, the ungodly and sinful, the unholy and
irreligious, for those who kill their fathers or mothers, for murderers,
for the sexually immoral, for those practicing homosexuality, for slave
traders and liars and perjurers. And it is for whatever else is
contrary to the sound doctrine that conforms to the gospel concerning
the glory of the blessed God, which he entrusted to me." (1 Timothy 1:9-11)
"Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor practicing homosexuals nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God." (1 Corinthians 6:9-10)
"Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor practicing homosexuals nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God." (1 Corinthians 6:9-10)
"You are not to have sexual relations with a male as you would with a woman. It's detestable." (Leviticus 18:22)
Through all of this, above all else, I care about the individual's salvation, and whether or not Christ's love is being shown to them (and I am not referring to the all things are acceptable or permissible type of love, I mean the authentic I'll walk through anything and die for you kind of love and dedication). I care so much more about whether the person (regardless of the issue or the sin) is being reached out to, exactly where they are in their brokenness, than I do about whether the government says something is or is not acceptable. That is where my heart lands in the end every time.
I think we (myself definitely included) forget so often, and too quickly how prevalent sin is in our lives.. in my own life. Regardless of the sin, pride, lust, adultery, drunkenness, homosexuality, lying, cutting etc.. etc.. Are you "born this way"?.. Quite frankly I have no idea, maybe, probably. But, that is not an argument to STAY living in sin, it merely means that regardless of the sin or the struggle you were born with, we ALL have fallen short of the glory of God. Due to the nature of how fallen, broken, and sinful we are, it is literally born in us because literally no one even has the chance of being perfect (It is by the grace of God that we are saved).
"The
wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness
and wickedness of human beings who suppress the truth by their
wickedness, since what may be known about God is plain to them, because
God has made it plain to them. For since the creation of the world God's
invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been
clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people
are without excuse. For although they knew God, they neither glorified
him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and
their foolish hearts were darkened. Although they claimed to be wise,
they became fools and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images
made to look like mortal human beings and birds and animals and
reptiles.
Therefore
God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual
impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another. They
exchanged the truth about God for a lie, and worshiped and served
created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen.
Because
of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women
exchanged natural sexual relations for unnatural ones. In the same way
the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed
with lust for one another. Men committed shameful acts with other men,
and received in themselves the due penalty for their error. Furthermore,
just as they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of
God, so God gave them over to a depraved mind, so that they do what
ought not to be done." (Romans 1:18-28)
The things I see regarding the issue of being gay or lesbian is this: it is not a new thing. It is not suddenly something we as humans are dealing with now, it is not more prevalent now than it was in years past, it is talked about numerous times throughout history (and in the Bible) as things humans have been dealing with for thousands of years.
Laws and policies are not going to help the situation or make it worse, laws are not where people's salvation is won. I understand that everyone has their role to play in the body of Christ (head, foot, mouth, ear, hands etc..) and I am not saying anyone else should or should not pursue legislation or laws, all I am saying is that my personal place is firmly planted in the exclusive care about the person's eternal salvation, not whether the government has deemed something appropriate or not. While I understand that this is a slippery slope, I am not actually making or explaining my position on any law or policy... What I am doing is explaining that when comparing someone's heart, their soul, their salvation to a law or policy, I could careless about the law or policy. I only care about the individual's salvation.
I talked with my dad about this topic, and he pointed out a few things that I think are worth mentioning, there
is no evidence in scripture that becoming a believer “sets us free” from temptation. We find ZERO guarantees of being set free from ANY
temptation in this natural life. It
is very likely temptation of any kind will need to be resisted for the entirety of your life. What Jesus can
do, is give them (us all) the wisdom to avoid the temptation (whether it be homosexuality, sexual temptations of any kind, alcohol, etc.. etc..), and the strength to
resist that temptation (AND if they have been engaging in that sin and
it has become a genuine spiritual bondage, Jesus CAN set them free from
the bondage – temptation to sin, and bondage to that sin are NOT the same
thing).
I also think it is SO important to point out, just
because I am not tempted by the same sin as my neighbor does NOT make
me more holy. It just makes me a different person. Different people have
different weaknesses, but the fact is: we all have (and were
probably born with) weaknesses to some kind of sin...
Also, please.. please hear me... A person who is a
Christian and “living the normal life of a homosexual (i.e.
regularly engaging in homosexual sin)” is just as problematic as a
Christian who is constantly lying, constantly cheating on their spouse,
constantly stealing or constantly doing any other sin... That is not to
say they will lose their salvation, but the ramifications of their
behavior WILL cause problems in their life, both naturally and spiritually
(one of them being constantly separating us from real intimacy with
God). Since Jesus calls us to holiness, continual, intentional sin of
any kind is not OK, and can have serious consequences in our heart (including, I believe, that it could, not necessarily will, but could eventually hardening our hearts so that we just might abandon our faith). On
the other hand, homosexual sin is no more or less wrong than any other
sexual sin. All are wrong, and all have serious spiritual and natural
consequences.
Jesus calling us to a life of salvation in Him is a
call to moral cleanliness, and the moral part is NOT optional.
Responding to Jesus’ Lordship (meaning not just acknowledging He's real and brings salvation, but that He is Lord) includes repentance of sin, all sin,
including any and all sexual sin. Repentance means “to feel genuine
remorse, and to turn away from." However, the really neat
part is that merely refraining from sin is NOT at all what makes us holy. Faith
in Jesus alone makes us holy, and that holiness from Jesus then empowers us to
resist temptation, and make moral decisions.
In other words, real faith
in Jesus cleanses our hearts, and makes us actually ABLE to resist
temptation and lead genuinely moral lives. Praise the Lord it actually has little to nothing to do with us!
Feb 6, 2012
Are you Born Again?...
It was a simple conversation followed by a couple knowing smiles, and my heart just swelled.
One of my co-workers walks past my desk usually a couple times a day on their way to and from the kitchen for coffee or tea. Thanks to my strategically placed cubical, I see virtually everyone who comes onto my floor, and I do not mind in the slightest saying hi, good morning, have a great day or just smiling at everyone who walks by. It is not a big interruption to my day, and often times it provides enough of a break from what I am focusing on to help me re-focus for another little while.
Anyway, this particular co-worker is always pleasant (like virtually all of them are) with a very genuine smile. Today was similar to the other days, except, just as they were about to reach the door to walk back down the stairs, they turned around and paused, then made their way back to my desk saying, "I have a question for you, which you do not have to answer if you are not comfortable..." I had no idea what was coming, and knowing the totally random range of things I get asked on a daily basis, I just laughed and responded with, "Okay."
"Are you born again?"
I smiled, and just responded with a simple, "Yes I am."
I got the sweetest knowing smile in response, then a satisfactory nod, and an "I thought so."
That is when I laughed and asked what made them wonder that, and I got the biggest compliment I can recall in the last few months:
"I just thought so."
With a satisfied smile, they turned and began walking away, at which point I called after them, "Are you?" They paused in the doorway, turned around, smiled again and said, "Yes." and were gone through the door back to work.
I sat in silence for a few moments and just smiled, it was one of the most profoundly impacting conversations, yet entirely simple, "Are you born again?" It was clear, it was direct, it was void of non-nonchalance, and it avoided the common "are you a Christian?".. it was deeper, it was specific, and it was more meaningful.
But, what impacted me the most was the knowing smile and the satisfactory look afterwards, almost as though they were glad to know they were correct in what they saw. As if something struck them as distinctly different, and they were glad to know that they had guess exactly right. For this, I am so thankful.
I am amazed at how my sweet savior works, and I am completely humbled that someone who passes by my desk a couple times a day and has fairly limited conversation with me knew exactly what they were seeing.
"Are you born again?"
Jan 10, 2012
21 Days of Prayer...
Today my church is starting 21 Days of Prayer. I am so excited and whole heartedly jumping into this because I feel compelled to be a part of this. I feel as though this is a game changer for me, and I feel like I am starting something new with these next 21 days.
Here is a small excerpt from my pastor's blog (Mark Batterson),
"David set the standard in Psalm 5:3:
In the morning, O Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning, I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation.
One of the reasons why many people don’t feel intimacy with God is because they don’t have a daily rhythm with God. They have a weekly rhythm. If all you have with God is a weekly touchpoint called church, you’ll lose touch
with God. Would that work with your spouse or your kids? It doesn’t
work in God’s family either. We need to establish a daily rhythm in
order to have a daily relationship with God. The best way to do that is
to begin the day in prayer.
Is it always easy? No. That’s why I love the determination in David’s voice: In the morning, O Lord, you will hear my voice. That’s what it takes doesn’t it? It’s hard to get up early, but that is what makes praying hard so hard. Setting your alarm is a stewardship issue! David was determined to circle his day in prayer. I don’t know if he prayed through his calendar or wrote down his requests in a prayer journal. But I know that he prayed with specificity and consistency. And that is what drawing prayer circles is all about.
This is the day the Lord has made! Circle it.
To sign up for the 21-Day Prayer Challenge, go here.
You can purchase individual copies of The Circle Maker on amazon.com. For free resources and bulk discounts, go to www.thecirclemaker.com."
Today, I start the 21 Days of Prayer with fasting and just asking God what His plans are, where my focus should be, and to burden my heart with the things that burden His. I want Him to teach me His ways, to show me where He is guiding me, and where He is asking me to rest and wait on Him.
Should be an interesting and way exciting 21 days.
Jan 9, 2012
Unexpected Growth...
How do you respond when you are having a conversation with someone you care about, and it is a topic that makes you uncomfortable and feel vulnerable?... I ramble.. I make significantly less eye contact.. and sometimes I get flush in the face. It is lovely (please note the sarcasm).
However, I had one of these types of conversations last night, and it was interesting to say the least. The overall conversation was really good, it did not go at all how I thought it would (which typically is a good thing), and the response to what I was bringing up and talking about was not at all what I was expecting (also a good thing). I typically try to prepare the person I am talking to in advance, letting them know that I need them to understand what I mean instead of necessarily hearing what I am saying, and then I usually apologize for the massive amounts of rambling that is about to take place as I try to muddle my way through the emotional thoughts that are about to fall out randomly...
What is interesting to me though is how God is using these types of conversations to grow me in ways I have yet to experience and in ways I was not at all expecting.
One of the most bizarre things that took place during the conversation last night was I literally felt my head and heart trying to wrap my mind around what I was hearing.. I knew I was hearing truth, I knew that the response to my emotional ramblings was authentic, but most of all, I knew that the value being communicated while coming from this person, was actually a sweet whisper slowly expanding in my heart from my wonderful creator reminding me that I am treasured... While the voice came from the incredibly sweet and thoughtful person sitting next to me on the couch, the words were entirely that of my Lord... And, I eloquently responded internally with what was the equivalent of stuttering, "uh..uh.. uh.. w..w..what?" You see, I had no issues understanding cognitively what was being said to me, but what I struggled believing was that the truth in the words applied to me, to every part of who I am, and that my value has little to nothing to do with me at all, has nothing to do with my actions, my past, my successes or my failures.
My value and worth comes from my Lord.
I am always amazed and so incredibly thankful for the people that God uses to speak to me in new and special ways. I love how each person fills a specific role, has a unique place in my life, and how so many people can say the exact same thing.. but somehow when a certain person says it, the meaning and impact take on a completely different meaning and light. What I love even more is when the person is clueless as to the profound impact they have made on me. I get so amused when I try to communicated and explain what has happened and how God has used them, I get this sweet smile, but a completely unknowing and not understanding smile in response.
My God is awesome, and I love how He never ceases to amaze.
However, I had one of these types of conversations last night, and it was interesting to say the least. The overall conversation was really good, it did not go at all how I thought it would (which typically is a good thing), and the response to what I was bringing up and talking about was not at all what I was expecting (also a good thing). I typically try to prepare the person I am talking to in advance, letting them know that I need them to understand what I mean instead of necessarily hearing what I am saying, and then I usually apologize for the massive amounts of rambling that is about to take place as I try to muddle my way through the emotional thoughts that are about to fall out randomly...
What is interesting to me though is how God is using these types of conversations to grow me in ways I have yet to experience and in ways I was not at all expecting.
One of the most bizarre things that took place during the conversation last night was I literally felt my head and heart trying to wrap my mind around what I was hearing.. I knew I was hearing truth, I knew that the response to my emotional ramblings was authentic, but most of all, I knew that the value being communicated while coming from this person, was actually a sweet whisper slowly expanding in my heart from my wonderful creator reminding me that I am treasured... While the voice came from the incredibly sweet and thoughtful person sitting next to me on the couch, the words were entirely that of my Lord... And, I eloquently responded internally with what was the equivalent of stuttering, "uh..uh.. uh.. w..w..what?" You see, I had no issues understanding cognitively what was being said to me, but what I struggled believing was that the truth in the words applied to me, to every part of who I am, and that my value has little to nothing to do with me at all, has nothing to do with my actions, my past, my successes or my failures.
My value and worth comes from my Lord.
I am always amazed and so incredibly thankful for the people that God uses to speak to me in new and special ways. I love how each person fills a specific role, has a unique place in my life, and how so many people can say the exact same thing.. but somehow when a certain person says it, the meaning and impact take on a completely different meaning and light. What I love even more is when the person is clueless as to the profound impact they have made on me. I get so amused when I try to communicated and explain what has happened and how God has used them, I get this sweet smile, but a completely unknowing and not understanding smile in response.
My God is awesome, and I love how He never ceases to amaze.
Dec 31, 2011
Nice to Meet You 2012...
So, while I have always said I do not typically make new years resolutions (if you need a resolution.. do it now.. today.. don't wait for a fake time to start one), last year I had a couple, that I am proud to say I accomplished! I wanted to blog more (check!) and I wanted to get in better shape.. (double check!)
Typically I have feelings about the year to come.. a lot of hopes.. but often times my feelings are fairly accurate about what is to come. Now, I do not mean specifics or situations.. I literally mean feelings. What is interesting to me is I do not have ANY real feelings or direction for 2012.. Other than it being pretty apparent this next year is going to be... different than what I have been experiencing lately (last couple years), I realistically have no idea what to expect from the next year. You see, it is not that I feel like God has me in a fog so I CANNOT see what is coming... but, much more that God literally is just asking me to be in the here and now... and take things as they come.
Which leads me to my New Years Resolutions... I would like to continue the 2011 resolutions.. get/stay in shape, and blog as many days a week as I can. It is really nice to have this running history, especially since I have now been blogging for several years.
Ok, so, this year I want to really focus on being in the here and now.. I do not want to worry about tomorrow nor borrow tomorrow's trouble today (yup, I said the same thing two different ways..).
I want to exercise more compassion, grace, mercy, and love than I have in years past.
I want to diligently complete the next year of my double masters program, which will mean I will have one or two classes left at the end of 2012.
I want to work better at controlling my mouth.
And, I want to draw closer to my sweet savior Jesus Christ, and I want to learn more about who He is, and subsequently who I am supposed to be... I want to learn how to love people on behalf of him better this year... 2011 was a year that caused me to struggle with this more than I am ok with, I want 2012 to be better.
So, those are my "New Years Resolutions"... Not your typical resolutions, but that is sorta how I roll... Now to pray them into existence!
Typically I have feelings about the year to come.. a lot of hopes.. but often times my feelings are fairly accurate about what is to come. Now, I do not mean specifics or situations.. I literally mean feelings. What is interesting to me is I do not have ANY real feelings or direction for 2012.. Other than it being pretty apparent this next year is going to be... different than what I have been experiencing lately (last couple years), I realistically have no idea what to expect from the next year. You see, it is not that I feel like God has me in a fog so I CANNOT see what is coming... but, much more that God literally is just asking me to be in the here and now... and take things as they come.
Which leads me to my New Years Resolutions... I would like to continue the 2011 resolutions.. get/stay in shape, and blog as many days a week as I can. It is really nice to have this running history, especially since I have now been blogging for several years.
Ok, so, this year I want to really focus on being in the here and now.. I do not want to worry about tomorrow nor borrow tomorrow's trouble today (yup, I said the same thing two different ways..).
I want to exercise more compassion, grace, mercy, and love than I have in years past.
I want to diligently complete the next year of my double masters program, which will mean I will have one or two classes left at the end of 2012.
I want to work better at controlling my mouth.
And, I want to draw closer to my sweet savior Jesus Christ, and I want to learn more about who He is, and subsequently who I am supposed to be... I want to learn how to love people on behalf of him better this year... 2011 was a year that caused me to struggle with this more than I am ok with, I want 2012 to be better.
So, those are my "New Years Resolutions"... Not your typical resolutions, but that is sorta how I roll... Now to pray them into existence!
Dec 18, 2011
Not My Own...
Several weeks ago, Dick Foth spoke at my church for a two part series "Hallowed" which roughly means "Holy." He talked about the Lords prayer and just what exactly are we asking for when we say the Lords prayer. In case you have never heard it or just want a refresher:
"Our Father, who art in Heaven,
Hallowed be thy name.
Thy Kingdom Come,
Thy will be done on earth, as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses,
As we forgive those who trespass against us.
And, lead us not into temptation,
But deliver us from the evil one.
For thine is the Kingdom,
The power,
and the Glory,
For ever and ever.
Amen."
Even though this is old English, I still like this version the best.
There is a different cadence to it that I enjoy, which is ironic since I do not really like any other verses in old English.
One of the things that was pointed out was "Thy will be done.." and how even in the Garden of gesthemany where Jesus was crying, praying, and basically asking God to find another way to save us He essentially said "Thy will be done.."...
"...he fell with his face to the ground. He prayed, 'My Father, if it is possible, take this cup of suffering away from me. But let what you want be done, not what I want.'" -Matthew 26:39b
This has really been sticking with me lately after Dick Foth made mention of, how different would our lives and the lives of those around us look if more people said more often "... not my will, but yours..."
So, what if?.. What if I said that more times a day than I can count? How different would my life look if every prayer, everything ended with "but, not my own will, but yours be done here."? Would my life dramatically change?
I dunno, maybe.
Maybe I would stop stressing so much,
Maybe I would be less afraid of getting hurt again,
Maybe I would stop trying to keep everything together perfectly,
Maybe I would stop paying attention to the wrongs against me,
Maybe I would stop trying to control everything,
Maybe I would be more patient,
Maybe I would be more compassionate,
Maybe I would see someone else's hurt before my own,
Maybe I would be less selfish,
Maybe I would begin to be more fulfilled in every situation,
Maybe I would have more peace and contentment in my life,
Maybe I would hurt more because I was seeking God's will more,
Maybe my life would get harder,
Maybe I would cry more,
Maybe my heart would be broken more for what breaks God's,
Maybe I would get hurt more,
Maybe I would get my heart broken again,
Maybe I would love unabashedly,
Maybe more people would come to know Christ,
Maybe God would change the world with my life.
Lately I have been thinking a lot about this concept, and just working through the idea that I want to walk through any door and any path the Lord has put before me regardless of what is going on or the result.
This was aided by today's sermon by Mark Batterson about how sometimes God's plan does not make sense for 55-1500 years... He listed several stories in the Bible that the individuals would likely have said "thanks but no thanks" and would have chosen to write it differently, but that later, and sometimes 1500 years (and however many generations that is) later it all makes perfect beautiful sense as to why something happened the way it did. He also pointed out that when God does miracles, they never are convenient, and often really get in the way of life and our plans. Such an interesting thought.
Am I open to be inconvenienced for God?.. Gosh I hope so.
I guess I just feel like I am at this place right now where I know that some crazy things are coming around the corner, some probably scary, others exciting, likely some stressful things, and everything in between, but what I know above and beyond that is I desire God's will over my own. With Him directing and taking the lead I have no reason to fear...
Not my own, but yours my King.
"Our Father, who art in Heaven,
Hallowed be thy name.
Thy Kingdom Come,
Thy will be done on earth, as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses,
As we forgive those who trespass against us.
And, lead us not into temptation,
But deliver us from the evil one.
For thine is the Kingdom,
The power,
and the Glory,
For ever and ever.
Amen."
Even though this is old English, I still like this version the best.
There is a different cadence to it that I enjoy, which is ironic since I do not really like any other verses in old English.
One of the things that was pointed out was "Thy will be done.." and how even in the Garden of gesthemany where Jesus was crying, praying, and basically asking God to find another way to save us He essentially said "Thy will be done.."...
"...he fell with his face to the ground. He prayed, 'My Father, if it is possible, take this cup of suffering away from me. But let what you want be done, not what I want.'" -Matthew 26:39b
This has really been sticking with me lately after Dick Foth made mention of, how different would our lives and the lives of those around us look if more people said more often "... not my will, but yours..."
So, what if?.. What if I said that more times a day than I can count? How different would my life look if every prayer, everything ended with "but, not my own will, but yours be done here."? Would my life dramatically change?
I dunno, maybe.
Maybe I would stop stressing so much,
Maybe I would be less afraid of getting hurt again,
Maybe I would stop trying to keep everything together perfectly,
Maybe I would stop paying attention to the wrongs against me,
Maybe I would stop trying to control everything,
Maybe I would be more patient,
Maybe I would be more compassionate,
Maybe I would see someone else's hurt before my own,
Maybe I would be less selfish,
Maybe I would begin to be more fulfilled in every situation,
Maybe I would have more peace and contentment in my life,
Maybe I would hurt more because I was seeking God's will more,
Maybe my life would get harder,
Maybe I would cry more,
Maybe my heart would be broken more for what breaks God's,
Maybe I would get hurt more,
Maybe I would get my heart broken again,
Maybe I would love unabashedly,
Maybe more people would come to know Christ,
Maybe God would change the world with my life.
Lately I have been thinking a lot about this concept, and just working through the idea that I want to walk through any door and any path the Lord has put before me regardless of what is going on or the result.
This was aided by today's sermon by Mark Batterson about how sometimes God's plan does not make sense for 55-1500 years... He listed several stories in the Bible that the individuals would likely have said "thanks but no thanks" and would have chosen to write it differently, but that later, and sometimes 1500 years (and however many generations that is) later it all makes perfect beautiful sense as to why something happened the way it did. He also pointed out that when God does miracles, they never are convenient, and often really get in the way of life and our plans. Such an interesting thought.
Am I open to be inconvenienced for God?.. Gosh I hope so.
I guess I just feel like I am at this place right now where I know that some crazy things are coming around the corner, some probably scary, others exciting, likely some stressful things, and everything in between, but what I know above and beyond that is I desire God's will over my own. With Him directing and taking the lead I have no reason to fear...
Not my own, but yours my King.
Dec 17, 2011
Personal Christmas Traditions...
I have a method to the way I Christmas shop, it tends to be one of the last weekends before Christmas, I have a list for all 11 family members to help guide me and keep me from getting distracted or forgetting anyone (terrible.. but there's a lot of them!). I prefer to be shopping exclusively for Christmas, I do not like having other things on my list because it just ends up distracting me.. And finally, I always would rather go by myself, this allows me to get in and out or mosey as long as I want to at each store. I love it because I end up spending the entire day thinking about my family, what Christmas will be like, the possible reactions they will have, the gifts they will love or react to the most, the laughter that will go with the explinations as to why I bought something or the story behind the wrapping... Then, I get really excited to wrap all the gifts and make them look perfect.
I also prefer to go by myself because I get less impatient by all the people rushing to get in lines and the last of whatevers to get the best deals... I find my blood pressure is always lower when I am by myself, and I have the chance to smile and say excuse me over and over... It is Christmas after all, why be a jerk about anything?
Once I have everything bought, I love to take an evening to wrap everything at once.. It usually takes me several hours because I decorate each gift making it its own special brand of perfect. I tend to have themes, sometimes they are clearly Christmas, other times they are just festive, and still other times they resemble modern decoration more than anything else. Everything tends to match, and, while I am sure my family appreciates my effort, the reality is I enjoy spending the couple hours to do this more than I think any of them like getting perfectly wrapped gifts. For me the presentation and the "wow, that looks perfect" is part of the excitement of opening all the gifts..
Not to mention, with the size our family is quickly growing to it tends to look like our Christmas tree had a volcanic eruption of gifts and they have flowed beyond the base of the tree like lava... haha The gifts to and from everyone literally take up half the living room.
Merry Christmas! May you find the reason for the joy of this season, and the truth about the birth of a precious baby that we celebrate.
I also prefer to go by myself because I get less impatient by all the people rushing to get in lines and the last of whatevers to get the best deals... I find my blood pressure is always lower when I am by myself, and I have the chance to smile and say excuse me over and over... It is Christmas after all, why be a jerk about anything?
Once I have everything bought, I love to take an evening to wrap everything at once.. It usually takes me several hours because I decorate each gift making it its own special brand of perfect. I tend to have themes, sometimes they are clearly Christmas, other times they are just festive, and still other times they resemble modern decoration more than anything else. Everything tends to match, and, while I am sure my family appreciates my effort, the reality is I enjoy spending the couple hours to do this more than I think any of them like getting perfectly wrapped gifts. For me the presentation and the "wow, that looks perfect" is part of the excitement of opening all the gifts..
Not to mention, with the size our family is quickly growing to it tends to look like our Christmas tree had a volcanic eruption of gifts and they have flowed beyond the base of the tree like lava... haha The gifts to and from everyone literally take up half the living room.
Merry Christmas! May you find the reason for the joy of this season, and the truth about the birth of a precious baby that we celebrate.
Dec 13, 2011
Connecting Again...
I have been doing a lot of praying lately about all sorts of things, friends, family, a wide variety of health, schooling, relationships, safety, salvation etc..etc.. I have really grown to love my getting ready for the day/bed time while I wash my face, do my hair, make up or brush my teeth because it gives me a chance to pick one or two of the things on my 3x5 prayer cards to focus on and really touch the face of God. While I pray throughout the day, I tend to view these 30 minutes to an hour a couple times a day, just before I fall asleep, and while I drive to or from work as real anchors in my talking moments with my sweet Savior.
I have felt a serious sense of connection once again to my sweet Jesus, partially because He clearly has overcome a lot of things in my life and it is fairly apparent we are on to new and as of yet unattained heights. But, with that comes a lot of prayer for relationships, not just mine, but also the ones my friends (or family) are in. Friendships, dating, engaged or married relationships, and just really asking that God take over and overwhelm their (and my) minds and hearts..
What is interesting to me is how much peace and contentment comes from these moments I am connecting with my Lord. I have no idea what is going on in the minds and hearts of a lot of my friends or family that I am praying for but, what I do know is everyone I know could use some additional prayers.. Including myself.
There are a lot of things going on that I did not see coming and certainly was not expecting, and since that just wreaks of a loss of control, I am slightly prone to freak mentally... Yet, in reality I know that freaking out does nothing to aid the situation.. And still, even in the midst, at my very core, at the center of my internal storms I know that my God is here, walking through and guiding me speaking words of "peace be still." I realized last week that no matter the outcomes of things going on in my life right now, I would always choose to walk through these doors.
Last night I was talking to someone about the idea of pain, frustration, brokenness, and how much people often try to drowned out the thoughts and feelings with various methods... drinking, movies, games, incessant noise, drugs, sleep etc..etc.. What I realized is, I never want to forget these moments of pain, fear, brokenness. I do not want to undo the memories and let them fade away like the mundane memories I have already forgotten throughout my life. I want to always remember both the good and the bad things that I have been through. I have learned so much about what I believe and who I am through these instances that, forgetting would be not just tragic, but devastating to me. I realized last night that even though I have had some serious shouting matches at the Lord (I've yet to have him shout back), I always knew He is still here, He loves me, and one day it all will make perfect beautiful sense. I also realized last night that while I never actively choose the painful mistakes I have made again, I know that the only way I will be able to keep from repeating the same stupid things over and over is by remembering... even if remembering is really painful, I will still choose it... It is such an intense motivator for me.
I want to be better tomorrow than I was today. I want to love better, care more, have more compassion, and draw closer to the one and only Lord.
I have felt a serious sense of connection once again to my sweet Jesus, partially because He clearly has overcome a lot of things in my life and it is fairly apparent we are on to new and as of yet unattained heights. But, with that comes a lot of prayer for relationships, not just mine, but also the ones my friends (or family) are in. Friendships, dating, engaged or married relationships, and just really asking that God take over and overwhelm their (and my) minds and hearts..
What is interesting to me is how much peace and contentment comes from these moments I am connecting with my Lord. I have no idea what is going on in the minds and hearts of a lot of my friends or family that I am praying for but, what I do know is everyone I know could use some additional prayers.. Including myself.
There are a lot of things going on that I did not see coming and certainly was not expecting, and since that just wreaks of a loss of control, I am slightly prone to freak mentally... Yet, in reality I know that freaking out does nothing to aid the situation.. And still, even in the midst, at my very core, at the center of my internal storms I know that my God is here, walking through and guiding me speaking words of "peace be still." I realized last week that no matter the outcomes of things going on in my life right now, I would always choose to walk through these doors.
Last night I was talking to someone about the idea of pain, frustration, brokenness, and how much people often try to drowned out the thoughts and feelings with various methods... drinking, movies, games, incessant noise, drugs, sleep etc..etc.. What I realized is, I never want to forget these moments of pain, fear, brokenness. I do not want to undo the memories and let them fade away like the mundane memories I have already forgotten throughout my life. I want to always remember both the good and the bad things that I have been through. I have learned so much about what I believe and who I am through these instances that, forgetting would be not just tragic, but devastating to me. I realized last night that even though I have had some serious shouting matches at the Lord (I've yet to have him shout back), I always knew He is still here, He loves me, and one day it all will make perfect beautiful sense. I also realized last night that while I never actively choose the painful mistakes I have made again, I know that the only way I will be able to keep from repeating the same stupid things over and over is by remembering... even if remembering is really painful, I will still choose it... It is such an intense motivator for me.
I want to be better tomorrow than I was today. I want to love better, care more, have more compassion, and draw closer to the one and only Lord.
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