A while ago, I decided I would slowly work through the fruits of the spirit... Not in a barrage attack to figure it out and move on, but in the quiets of my heart, slowly, deliberately, and to work through them as they come up and God points things out. Really, I think this will be a never ending pursuit, and that is totally ok with me.
Anyway, I have been thinking a lot lately about the simple concept of being kind, of gentleness to those around you. In the book I Isaac, take thee Rebekah, Ravi points out that regardless, there is no reason to not be kind to your spouse (or anyone really), that simple comment got me thinking about how often I am really not kind.. and oh man let me tell you, I have every excuse.. I have a list of reasons that I can spin to make people feel as though I may just possibly be in the right with my response. When in reality I have no legitimate reason not to be kind, I have no reason not to always respond with gentleness.
I fail at this kindness and gentleness thing every single day, it is really kinda pathetic and sad. I get so frustrated with myself that I even try to justify in my own mind how I was totally in the right for the way I responded, the tone I took, the words I used, or at the very basic... my motives behind the reaction and response to those around me.
I really want to work on this.. as in, really really... I dislike feeling like I have responded poorly to something. I want to build others up, not be the reason they are frustrated or hurt at the end of the day. I truly want to be known for my gentleness.. not necessarily the perceived type of gentleness that never says things that need to be said.. but completely the type that everything is said out of a spirit of love and caring... Which can include being straightforward... :)
I want to make my legacy one of caring, laughter, and a never ending outpouring of Jesus in my life. I think that would be absolutely fantastic... Lord, help me to learn true gentleness.