Don't Be Afraid to Date
Hope you enjoy it!
Oh, and here's an updated picture of my 16 week old Great Dane Puppy (the one provided in the blog post he was 9 weeks old!)
Dec 18, 2012
First Guest Post!...
I wrote my first ever guest blog post! I am super excited about it, and love how God connects people through social media! This connection was made because I commented on a blog post written by Renee Johnson Fisher who operates Divotional Diva, she then contacted me and asked if I would be willing to write a blog post for her about dating... I was thrilled! So, today, I present you my first ever guest blog post:
Don't Be Afraid to Date
Hope you enjoy it!
Oh, and here's an updated picture of my 16 week old Great Dane Puppy (the one provided in the blog post he was 9 weeks old!)
Don't Be Afraid to Date
Hope you enjoy it!
Oh, and here's an updated picture of my 16 week old Great Dane Puppy (the one provided in the blog post he was 9 weeks old!)
Dec 17, 2012
Sacrificial Love...
It has been a very difficult few weeks. I finally had a normal two days off (woot!)... And then, I literally slept both days away. Friday I took a six hour nap, and then Friday night I went to bed at midnight, and woke up at noon on Saturday... with a 10 minutes break in the middle to take my puppy outside.. I felt SO much better, but was rather annoyed at how much time I had wasted.
However, if the sheer amount of time I spent sleeping is not a perfect indication of the level of exhaustion I was feeling, I am not sure what would be... Except for now, I have not been able to accomplish the things on my to-do list that I needed to. Dang it.
I came into this job knowing that it would be hard. I knew I was called to be here for such a time as this, and I was prepared; or so I thought. I realize that I often have the "I can handle it" type attitude towards most things, I also know that I am not often one to express the heartfelt emotions deep down. I mean, I will tell others how I feel, but I do not often actually allow the intimate close feelings to show... That is really vulnerable. So, for whatever reason I will talk about it without expressing it.
And then, I listened to my dad talking about a moment years ago when he was in the beginning stages of losing it as we learned that his mom (grandma) had died. He explained how he felt, and how things began to crumble... and he glanced sideways and saw 16 year old me as I lost it, and he instantly sealed his feelings and emotions away knowing I needed him. -- He said it took a couple months before the seal broke and he dealt with his own grief. But, I was amazed because I remember those few moments vividly; it has been almost 12 years since then.
Sometimes I think about that morning from time to time without much more than a faint recognition of the scar that once was; and yet somehow, when I was listening to my dad talk about how he felt, and how it impacted him so profoundly, but that I was more important, and that he saw my need of him... I cried. I did not cry due to my own pain from that morning, but because I realized how much, and how many times in my life that I have survived difficult situations because my mom and dad sealed away their feelings to support and love me through my difficult situations over their own.
In a way it makes so much sense how and why I am the way I am about pain and emotions. It helps me understand why in highly emotional situations I rarely fall apart, but it also shows why the pain and suffering of otheres impacts me so deeply... It was how I was raised. Loving others first and before my own pain and troubles is more important no matter what.
What an amazing expression of love that is neither deserved nor expected, and yet cherished more deeply than words can adequately express.
My parents are amazing people that I do not deserve, but am so thankful for.
What an intensely clear and perfect reminder as to why I am doing what I am doing, and why sleeping away two days in order to restore myself so that I can move forward to loves others for Christ is worth every minute.
However, if the sheer amount of time I spent sleeping is not a perfect indication of the level of exhaustion I was feeling, I am not sure what would be... Except for now, I have not been able to accomplish the things on my to-do list that I needed to. Dang it.
I came into this job knowing that it would be hard. I knew I was called to be here for such a time as this, and I was prepared; or so I thought. I realize that I often have the "I can handle it" type attitude towards most things, I also know that I am not often one to express the heartfelt emotions deep down. I mean, I will tell others how I feel, but I do not often actually allow the intimate close feelings to show... That is really vulnerable. So, for whatever reason I will talk about it without expressing it.
And then, I listened to my dad talking about a moment years ago when he was in the beginning stages of losing it as we learned that his mom (grandma) had died. He explained how he felt, and how things began to crumble... and he glanced sideways and saw 16 year old me as I lost it, and he instantly sealed his feelings and emotions away knowing I needed him. -- He said it took a couple months before the seal broke and he dealt with his own grief. But, I was amazed because I remember those few moments vividly; it has been almost 12 years since then.
Sometimes I think about that morning from time to time without much more than a faint recognition of the scar that once was; and yet somehow, when I was listening to my dad talk about how he felt, and how it impacted him so profoundly, but that I was more important, and that he saw my need of him... I cried. I did not cry due to my own pain from that morning, but because I realized how much, and how many times in my life that I have survived difficult situations because my mom and dad sealed away their feelings to support and love me through my difficult situations over their own.
In a way it makes so much sense how and why I am the way I am about pain and emotions. It helps me understand why in highly emotional situations I rarely fall apart, but it also shows why the pain and suffering of otheres impacts me so deeply... It was how I was raised. Loving others first and before my own pain and troubles is more important no matter what.
What an amazing expression of love that is neither deserved nor expected, and yet cherished more deeply than words can adequately express.
What an intensely clear and perfect reminder as to why I am doing what I am doing, and why sleeping away two days in order to restore myself so that I can move forward to loves others for Christ is worth every minute.
Dec 15, 2012
CT Shooting...
There are so many things I could say about the awful shooting in CT... There are so many things I wish I could say... There are so many people I wish I could hug... But, really there is nothing I can say or do that would make it ok again, no words I can offer, no amount of hugs will take away the pain. I keep thinking about those parents, those children, all of the final moments, the thoughts and emotions that went through those small little bodies. The memories that will never go away.. My heart is totally broken for these families.
In the midst of all of it, I wish I had the chance to tell them about Jesus, about receiving comfort from the only one who can give true comfort. I wish I knew why bad things happen like this, I wish I could explain with elegance why this doesn't make sense, but that it will one day.. All I know is that Jesus is the only thing that will make this ok again.
This song is Flags by one of my favorite artists Brooke Fraser. This song is a beautiful description of how I feel about this tragedy, it speaks to the hurting and the mourning and the Truth of what is to come.
To all of the parents, brothers, sister, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and friends of those that are affected by the CT shooting, I am so deeply sorry for your loss. I am praying for you all, and know that Jesus, the only one who can and will make this right one day loves you more than you understand and is beckoning you to come to Him, to share your grief, and to allow Him to heal your hearts.
In the midst of all of it, I wish I had the chance to tell them about Jesus, about receiving comfort from the only one who can give true comfort. I wish I knew why bad things happen like this, I wish I could explain with elegance why this doesn't make sense, but that it will one day.. All I know is that Jesus is the only thing that will make this ok again.
This song is Flags by one of my favorite artists Brooke Fraser. This song is a beautiful description of how I feel about this tragedy, it speaks to the hurting and the mourning and the Truth of what is to come.
To all of the parents, brothers, sister, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and friends of those that are affected by the CT shooting, I am so deeply sorry for your loss. I am praying for you all, and know that Jesus, the only one who can and will make this right one day loves you more than you understand and is beckoning you to come to Him, to share your grief, and to allow Him to heal your hearts.
Dec 12, 2012
So Over It...
I am so over school.
Seriously, I am having the worst time motivating myself to do my homework... as in currently I have a paper to write, and instead I am blogging. Awesome.
I recognize that a large part of my aversion to school is that I have 1 week left of this class and 2 classes left until I have completed my double masters! (woohoo!!) -- Which, I keep explaining to people sounds way more impressive than it actually is.
I also realize that part of my struggle with motivation is that I have been putting in a crazy number of hours at work the last few weeks, so homework just feels like added stress and like it is taking time that I would rather be putting into work... Which I guess is a good thing that despite the number of hours, I still would rather put my time into work.
On a slightly different note.. I when I took this job I was told that my work would cover me getting a Masters of Divinity.. I sorta freaked out when I was presented with this.. I mean SERIOUSLY... Who needs THREE masters degrees?!... No. One. I informed them I would not really think about it until I had completed these two degrees in May. However, I have been letting the idea ruminate in my head, and turning over all of the possible outcomes of getting an M. Div. or not.
I have narrowed it down to two basic ideas:
Basically, I have not come to any final conclusion. I have no doubt that God will make it pretty clear one way or another how it will all work out and what He wants me to do.. Thankfully I am not feeling stressed about it, just mulling the possibilities over in my head...
I have begun to plan out how my dad could get the same degree with me!.. I think that might be the only way I survive and make it through haha... But no, seriously.
Seriously, I am having the worst time motivating myself to do my homework... as in currently I have a paper to write, and instead I am blogging. Awesome.
I recognize that a large part of my aversion to school is that I have 1 week left of this class and 2 classes left until I have completed my double masters! (woohoo!!) -- Which, I keep explaining to people sounds way more impressive than it actually is.
I also realize that part of my struggle with motivation is that I have been putting in a crazy number of hours at work the last few weeks, so homework just feels like added stress and like it is taking time that I would rather be putting into work... Which I guess is a good thing that despite the number of hours, I still would rather put my time into work.
On a slightly different note.. I when I took this job I was told that my work would cover me getting a Masters of Divinity.. I sorta freaked out when I was presented with this.. I mean SERIOUSLY... Who needs THREE masters degrees?!... No. One. I informed them I would not really think about it until I had completed these two degrees in May. However, I have been letting the idea ruminate in my head, and turning over all of the possible outcomes of getting an M. Div. or not.
I have narrowed it down to two basic ideas:
- If I am going to pursue a life of ministry (which I obviously love) then an M. Div. makes complete and perfect sense.
- However, if I am not planning on or even thinking I am going to pursue a career in ministry, it would make little to no sense to pursue another masters degree, let alone one in divinity.
Basically, I have not come to any final conclusion. I have no doubt that God will make it pretty clear one way or another how it will all work out and what He wants me to do.. Thankfully I am not feeling stressed about it, just mulling the possibilities over in my head...
I have begun to plan out how my dad could get the same degree with me!.. I think that might be the only way I survive and make it through haha... But no, seriously.
Dec 10, 2012
The Baby Makes it Simple...
Last Friday night around 115 women ate a beautiful dinner together, we listened to an amazingly talented high school girl play the piano, and I spoke about Christmas.
To be honest it was a very unique experience because it was the first time I had spoken in this way.
I loved it.
I spent a lot of time beforehand praying that God would use my body, use my words, and that He would touch the hearts of the women sitting listening to me... It was interesting preparing for what I was going to talk about because the women ranged from 16-90, most attended our church, but not all of them, and I did not know the majority of them.. Although most of them know who I am.
When I was trying to come up with my topic I talked with my dad, -- My never ending supply of ideas and resources haha -- and we came up with a fantastic illustration using my brothers... another endless supply of funny stories.
My brothers have this pretty funny tradition for Christmas.. They make each others gift the most difficult thing to open ever, and they only using the tools included to open the gift. There are times that the gift takes almost an hour to open! One year (pictures included) there was this paper machete/plumbers glue thing that made the entire house smell disgusting.. Come to find out, once all was said and done and torn open, inside was gross dirty socks... All the while, there was a fake bottom with a beautifully wrapped nice gift. Had my little brother noticed the fake bottom he could have avoided opening the disgusting dirty socks...
When I talked to the ladies on Friday night, I explained this whole tradition, this particular experience, and the correlation it has to Christmas, Christ, and Christianity as a whole.
We take a beautiful gift, and tell others "this is Christ, this is Christmas.. open the gift".. and once they do, they find this gross, disgusting, smelly... 'gift' full of dirty socks.
Who would want that 'gift'?!
Truly, Christmas is about this beautiful baby that was sent to us as a gift.. and, it is as simple as that. This baby, that was small, cute, and smelled like a baby, was sent to us to die because God loves us. Yet, somehow, we turn this gift into dirty socks when presenting it to others. We make Christmas, Christ, and Christianity into this gross thing it was never meant to be.
This beautiful baby came to love us, to die for us, and right away this fact was made clear when Myrrh was given as one of the first gifts to this baby.. You see, Myrrh is used in burials. So, this beautiful baby, who we celebrate on Christmas was born to die from the beginning.
He did not come for who you SHOULD be, but because He loves who you are, and wants to meet you exactly where you are.
He wants to save you because He loves you right now.
It is literally that simple, and yet we make it all into this thing that it is not. We stress ourselves out during Christmas, get impatient standing in line for presents people do not actually need, we spend money we don't need to, and head to parties we feel obligated to go to because we make Christmas this thing it was never meant to be. It was meant to be a celebration of this beautiful baby who loves you...
He. Loves. You. -- As you are, right now; that is the beautiful gift.
This baby; Christ, He makes Christmas and Christianity simple. Let it stay that way.
To be honest it was a very unique experience because it was the first time I had spoken in this way.
I loved it.
I spent a lot of time beforehand praying that God would use my body, use my words, and that He would touch the hearts of the women sitting listening to me... It was interesting preparing for what I was going to talk about because the women ranged from 16-90, most attended our church, but not all of them, and I did not know the majority of them.. Although most of them know who I am.
When I was trying to come up with my topic I talked with my dad, -- My never ending supply of ideas and resources haha -- and we came up with a fantastic illustration using my brothers... another endless supply of funny stories.
My brothers have this pretty funny tradition for Christmas.. They make each others gift the most difficult thing to open ever, and they only using the tools included to open the gift. There are times that the gift takes almost an hour to open! One year (pictures included) there was this paper machete/plumbers glue thing that made the entire house smell disgusting.. Come to find out, once all was said and done and torn open, inside was gross dirty socks... All the while, there was a fake bottom with a beautifully wrapped nice gift. Had my little brother noticed the fake bottom he could have avoided opening the disgusting dirty socks...
When I talked to the ladies on Friday night, I explained this whole tradition, this particular experience, and the correlation it has to Christmas, Christ, and Christianity as a whole.
We take a beautiful gift, and tell others "this is Christ, this is Christmas.. open the gift".. and once they do, they find this gross, disgusting, smelly... 'gift' full of dirty socks.
Who would want that 'gift'?!
Truly, Christmas is about this beautiful baby that was sent to us as a gift.. and, it is as simple as that. This baby, that was small, cute, and smelled like a baby, was sent to us to die because God loves us. Yet, somehow, we turn this gift into dirty socks when presenting it to others. We make Christmas, Christ, and Christianity into this gross thing it was never meant to be.
This beautiful baby came to love us, to die for us, and right away this fact was made clear when Myrrh was given as one of the first gifts to this baby.. You see, Myrrh is used in burials. So, this beautiful baby, who we celebrate on Christmas was born to die from the beginning.
He did not come for who you SHOULD be, but because He loves who you are, and wants to meet you exactly where you are.
He wants to save you because He loves you right now.
It is literally that simple, and yet we make it all into this thing that it is not. We stress ourselves out during Christmas, get impatient standing in line for presents people do not actually need, we spend money we don't need to, and head to parties we feel obligated to go to because we make Christmas this thing it was never meant to be. It was meant to be a celebration of this beautiful baby who loves you...
He. Loves. You. -- As you are, right now; that is the beautiful gift.
This baby; Christ, He makes Christmas and Christianity simple. Let it stay that way.
Dec 8, 2012
Totally Different...
What a couple weeks it has been.
This post is sorta a random smattering of things, but it is exactly what is rattling around in my head... I finally had a full day off today, the first in a few weeks. And, I basically did nothing all day, I read, caught up on a few shows I had missed, painted my nails, went to the lighting of the Christmas tree here in Clarkston, got Chinese food, watched MIB3, and played with my puppy... Literally that was my day, and it was glorious.
A little over a week ago my great grandmother passed away. While sad, I knew it was coming and was more thankful that she had gone home. I also knew without any doubts that it was her time due to a few prayers and a dream I had. However, the visitations and funeral made for a ridiculously busy weekend full of LOTS of time spent driving. Not to mention it added a lot of stress merely due to the time I was not able to dedicate to my schoolwork or my laundry list of things I needed to get done for work.
I love my job, honestly, it has been a very long time since I have loved a job this much, and even then the last time the job was not my sweet spot, so it was not as fulfilling. However, I have never really thought before about the random challenges of working at a church. Some people surprise me with how supportive they are, how much they are intentional about investing in me... While others say ridiculous things that really are only said to me because I am paid. I have also discovered that while it is always somewhat difficult to figure out who you can and cannot trust at a new job, it is even more difficult when that job is working for a church. I have discovered that it is a delicate situation that requires a lot of wisdom in making friends, and it is very difficult to distinguish who is your friend because of who you are, and who is your friend because of the job you have. It also is interesting, (and I certainly have not done it flawlessly) to figure out who is trustworthy, who fakes a smile, who will be upfront and honest, and who will be the gossip... And yet, there are people who have totally surprised me by their support. Seriously their unending support and encouragement from some entirely unexpected corners is such an interesting situation to find yourself in.
This week has been crazy, and full of more frustration and tasks than anyone can possibly fit into a schedule and remain sane... I mean really, I accomplished maybe a third of the tasks on my to-do list... But, I did buy my ticket to East Asia, and will be spending two weeks in February there working with other people, seeing an old friend (hopefully), and getting to see the sights (woot woot!)!!
I also got to speak to about 115 ladies on Friday night. I feel as though it went well, and although there are definitely a few things I would do differently if I could, it was a fantastic learning experience for me. Especially since this was the first time I have ever done anything close to preaching (oh man...). I will post more about this later this week.
Tonight, I am so thankful for where I am. I love the things I see God doing, and even on frustrating and annoying days I know God is moving, and I am so thankful to be a part of it. I am exhausted, but I am excited about the things I am learning throughout every thought, emotion, situation, and relationship. Talk about a really weird experience and time in my life. Totally different than any other.
This post is sorta a random smattering of things, but it is exactly what is rattling around in my head... I finally had a full day off today, the first in a few weeks. And, I basically did nothing all day, I read, caught up on a few shows I had missed, painted my nails, went to the lighting of the Christmas tree here in Clarkston, got Chinese food, watched MIB3, and played with my puppy... Literally that was my day, and it was glorious.
A little over a week ago my great grandmother passed away. While sad, I knew it was coming and was more thankful that she had gone home. I also knew without any doubts that it was her time due to a few prayers and a dream I had. However, the visitations and funeral made for a ridiculously busy weekend full of LOTS of time spent driving. Not to mention it added a lot of stress merely due to the time I was not able to dedicate to my schoolwork or my laundry list of things I needed to get done for work.
I love my job, honestly, it has been a very long time since I have loved a job this much, and even then the last time the job was not my sweet spot, so it was not as fulfilling. However, I have never really thought before about the random challenges of working at a church. Some people surprise me with how supportive they are, how much they are intentional about investing in me... While others say ridiculous things that really are only said to me because I am paid. I have also discovered that while it is always somewhat difficult to figure out who you can and cannot trust at a new job, it is even more difficult when that job is working for a church. I have discovered that it is a delicate situation that requires a lot of wisdom in making friends, and it is very difficult to distinguish who is your friend because of who you are, and who is your friend because of the job you have. It also is interesting, (and I certainly have not done it flawlessly) to figure out who is trustworthy, who fakes a smile, who will be upfront and honest, and who will be the gossip... And yet, there are people who have totally surprised me by their support. Seriously their unending support and encouragement from some entirely unexpected corners is such an interesting situation to find yourself in.
This week has been crazy, and full of more frustration and tasks than anyone can possibly fit into a schedule and remain sane... I mean really, I accomplished maybe a third of the tasks on my to-do list... But, I did buy my ticket to East Asia, and will be spending two weeks in February there working with other people, seeing an old friend (hopefully), and getting to see the sights (woot woot!)!!
I also got to speak to about 115 ladies on Friday night. I feel as though it went well, and although there are definitely a few things I would do differently if I could, it was a fantastic learning experience for me. Especially since this was the first time I have ever done anything close to preaching (oh man...). I will post more about this later this week.
Tonight, I am so thankful for where I am. I love the things I see God doing, and even on frustrating and annoying days I know God is moving, and I am so thankful to be a part of it. I am exhausted, but I am excited about the things I am learning throughout every thought, emotion, situation, and relationship. Talk about a really weird experience and time in my life. Totally different than any other.
Dec 2, 2012
Power of Empowering...
I love my job.
Seriously. I mean, I have rough days, long days, hysterical days, unproductive days, stressful days, and everything else that can be associated with a job.. But, there is a purpose that I was made to fulfill at this point in my life, and I love it.
One of my favorite things about my job is that I get to empower people to find where Christ is leading them.
I love watching it dawn on people that they can do what God is laying on their heart...
I love walking people through the process of frustration or uncertainty and fear to confidence in their calling.. How cool is that?
There is a freedom experienced in being empowered to do what you were called to do. The amount of things that can happen, the people that can have their lives changed forever because others were empowered, it is truly amazing and inspiring.
When church does what church is supposed to do, nothing, absolutely nothing can get in our way because God is working and moving through dozens if not hundreds of people. The ripple affect of that is astronomical. The tidal wave is ridiculously large, and nothing can stop it. When the Holy Spirit moves, and hundreds of people follow, you cannot help but be swept up and moved too.
I am beginning to see the positive effects of empowering people. I can feel it in my own life, I now work at a place, and for a boss that tells me to "go and do" without partaking in the planning or details. I am experiencing what it means to be trusted and encouraged to stand up and follow where Christ is leading.. And because of it, I can feel the shift inside of me... And soon, others will begin to feel the shift inside of them... God is moving, and when we are empowered, we too will move mountains and bring glory to God.
It is awesome.
I love what cannot help but come by empowering others.
Seriously. I mean, I have rough days, long days, hysterical days, unproductive days, stressful days, and everything else that can be associated with a job.. But, there is a purpose that I was made to fulfill at this point in my life, and I love it.
One of my favorite things about my job is that I get to empower people to find where Christ is leading them.
I love watching it dawn on people that they can do what God is laying on their heart...
I love walking people through the process of frustration or uncertainty and fear to confidence in their calling.. How cool is that?
There is a freedom experienced in being empowered to do what you were called to do. The amount of things that can happen, the people that can have their lives changed forever because others were empowered, it is truly amazing and inspiring.
When church does what church is supposed to do, nothing, absolutely nothing can get in our way because God is working and moving through dozens if not hundreds of people. The ripple affect of that is astronomical. The tidal wave is ridiculously large, and nothing can stop it. When the Holy Spirit moves, and hundreds of people follow, you cannot help but be swept up and moved too.
I am beginning to see the positive effects of empowering people. I can feel it in my own life, I now work at a place, and for a boss that tells me to "go and do" without partaking in the planning or details. I am experiencing what it means to be trusted and encouraged to stand up and follow where Christ is leading.. And because of it, I can feel the shift inside of me... And soon, others will begin to feel the shift inside of them... God is moving, and when we are empowered, we too will move mountains and bring glory to God.
It is awesome.
I love what cannot help but come by empowering others.
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