Endorphins change things... Or, at least we are told they do. And, I can certainly attest to the fact that when I am more active I feel better, my joints do not hurt as much, my body holds itself together better (part of the disorder thing I have). But, mostly I just enjoy the way my body looks more, I like when my muscles have just that little extra touch of toneness then they do when I am not working out. I find I am more confident in what I wear, and I like the way my body looks in general when I am more active.. Maybe yet another reason I LOVE summer...
So, I have gotten a gym membership again (well a free week pass until my paycheck comes and I can afford the real membership), and I have been invited to audition for a dance group this weekend. I figure I would probably REALLY enjoy the dance group, which is 12 weeks of 2 hour dance classes on Saturdays. PLUS, the gym I am going to has a cardio kickboxing class.. Yahtzee!.. Also, I think it might have a pool as well.. Double Yahtzee! With all of these things working with me, I will be in fantastic shape in no time, and I will be happier in general, partially because I will no longer just be going home to do homework.
I am excited to be tone again.. and to get to punch things.. swim away my stress.. and dance.. which means laughing a LOT. Martial arts and dancing!?.. Yess Please!
Jan 11, 2011
Jan 10, 2011
Whispers...
Today work was.. fine, but interesting because I can tell God is moving inside of me, I felt different, and my reactions were less.. obnoxious (at least to me). I felt myself reasoning through into patience.. (YES!!.. Thank you Jesus!).
I continue to think about and mull over what God is doing and how the Holy Spirit is moving inside of me.. Because He is, and I can feel Him slowly loosening my grip on things wiping away the grime off my windows and shining Himself into my dustiness.
I called one of my best friends tonight as I drove.. I. Love. Her. I just called mostly because I really missed her and did not have anything particular to say, but wanted to ramble away about nothingness. But, true to form she always figures out something is off, and not necessarily wrong, just there is something ticking away inside my head... So, we chatted about the things I have begun to realize. Here are a few...
No, I am not actually happy in DC... But, I will be.
I have been incredibly stressed, and feeling like "I just need to survive"
I have had worse than no patience.
The last two months have been about making it, not actually enjoying it.
I do not feel like people understand me here.
I can FEEL my defensive walls, and I loath them.
I have to stop looking at DC as temporary and take every moment I have.
I stopped looking for the reasons God brought me here and planted me.
I cannot re-create Lynchburg, I was asked to make something new.
I miss my group of friends who totally understood me and brought out the best in me.
While I can love on the Saved.. I can never forget the Lost.
I am Loved, and I will pass that on.
God will help me. Slowly I will begin to unclench my fists. Little by little I will relax and actually be myself, instead of just reflexive reactions. One day at a time I will begin to see like blazing suns the purpose God has for me, the promises He's made to me, and the revelations along my journey... I will be obedient.. But first, I have to actually start listening to His whispers.
I continue to think about and mull over what God is doing and how the Holy Spirit is moving inside of me.. Because He is, and I can feel Him slowly loosening my grip on things wiping away the grime off my windows and shining Himself into my dustiness.
I called one of my best friends tonight as I drove.. I. Love. Her. I just called mostly because I really missed her and did not have anything particular to say, but wanted to ramble away about nothingness. But, true to form she always figures out something is off, and not necessarily wrong, just there is something ticking away inside my head... So, we chatted about the things I have begun to realize. Here are a few...
No, I am not actually happy in DC... But, I will be.
I have been incredibly stressed, and feeling like "I just need to survive"
I have had worse than no patience.
The last two months have been about making it, not actually enjoying it.
I do not feel like people understand me here.
I can FEEL my defensive walls, and I loath them.
I have to stop looking at DC as temporary and take every moment I have.
I stopped looking for the reasons God brought me here and planted me.
I cannot re-create Lynchburg, I was asked to make something new.
I miss my group of friends who totally understood me and brought out the best in me.
While I can love on the Saved.. I can never forget the Lost.
I am Loved, and I will pass that on.
God will help me. Slowly I will begin to unclench my fists. Little by little I will relax and actually be myself, instead of just reflexive reactions. One day at a time I will begin to see like blazing suns the purpose God has for me, the promises He's made to me, and the revelations along my journey... I will be obedient.. But first, I have to actually start listening to His whispers.
Jan 9, 2011
Grow...
Today one of the girls I live with and I tried another location of the church we have been attending.. I really loved this location, it felt more "me" and the music was perfect.. I think I forget how much I like this church in between Sunday's.. but, to be fair, I have been here for just over 2 months, and have been gone on Sunday for at least half that time. However, today I just felt like "I love this church." Partially because the worship was great, partially because the people felt like I could relate to them better, and partially because the sermon was on point... again.
Pastor Joel talked about God's promise to Abram in Genesis 12:1-? He explained that we have to be obedient before we get the blessing promised us, and we have to GO before we can understand what the promise means.. But, even beyond all of that we have to be diligent and walk the road set before us usually without knowing what multitude of blessings is about to come our way. God WANTS to bless us, He WANTS to make covenants and fulfill them.. all because these things glorify Himself. He does these things to us, for us, with us, in us, etc..etc.. because they bring Him glory.. But, we are not often given all of the details. Then, it was pointed out that God cannot reveal things to us until we have been obedient and had genuine faith... God cannot count our faith as riotousness until we actually respond in a manner consistent with the faith we would like to say and sometimes DO say we have.
Lots of times throughout the sermon Pastor Joel talked about the fact that Abram WENT.. He did not know where, but knew God would show him when the time was right... And then I realized.. I went, but stopped looking for all that God has set before me. As though all the plan consisted of was my job, place to live, and school work... How sad that I have forgotten to keep looking for each next step and each next blessing to this journey God has me on.
I will post more on this as the week progresses and I begin to formulate what I think God is beginning to create and grow in me.
I will grow where I am planted.. I am not supposed to re-create what I had elsewhere. I am supposed to explore and figure out what has been made new and set before me... I need to figure this out... And, I am sure God will help me this week!
Pastor Joel talked about God's promise to Abram in Genesis 12:1-? He explained that we have to be obedient before we get the blessing promised us, and we have to GO before we can understand what the promise means.. But, even beyond all of that we have to be diligent and walk the road set before us usually without knowing what multitude of blessings is about to come our way. God WANTS to bless us, He WANTS to make covenants and fulfill them.. all because these things glorify Himself. He does these things to us, for us, with us, in us, etc..etc.. because they bring Him glory.. But, we are not often given all of the details. Then, it was pointed out that God cannot reveal things to us until we have been obedient and had genuine faith... God cannot count our faith as riotousness until we actually respond in a manner consistent with the faith we would like to say and sometimes DO say we have.
Lots of times throughout the sermon Pastor Joel talked about the fact that Abram WENT.. He did not know where, but knew God would show him when the time was right... And then I realized.. I went, but stopped looking for all that God has set before me. As though all the plan consisted of was my job, place to live, and school work... How sad that I have forgotten to keep looking for each next step and each next blessing to this journey God has me on.
I will post more on this as the week progresses and I begin to formulate what I think God is beginning to create and grow in me.
I will grow where I am planted.. I am not supposed to re-create what I had elsewhere. I am supposed to explore and figure out what has been made new and set before me... I need to figure this out... And, I am sure God will help me this week!
Jan 8, 2011
Love and Laughter...
My "bff" got married yesterday. It was absolutely amazing, and I can honestly say I was just overjoyed with excitement and love and wonder at how awesome God's plan and path are for each one of us!
A year ago Sarah and I had just survived a massive argument that at the end neither of us really could remember why we had started arguing, except that we knew we were each safe.. and were mad the other had not been calling as much as normal.. Without realizing we were both needing the mind-reading support of the other... We were both really struggling and life was just hard.. not necessarily for any reason at all.. Satan's just a jerk.
Now, a year later.. Her life has changed forever.. and years of my prayers were answered in a few simple words and exchanging of rings.. It was truly awesome, and she was thrilled, but totally at peace and calm about it all.. I love her so dearly, and am forever thankful for God bringing us together.. I have needed her friendship so many more times then I like to admit, and that she would ever know!
On to other things from this weekend...
I tend to write in a bit of a cryptic way so that those aware of situations and things going on get all sorts of insight and information, and those unaware get pretty much a basic overview of what is going on. Both people get pictures and glimpses of my heart and an authentic view of who I am, but the reality is sometimes carefully chosen words protect not only the private people in my life who do not like their life blasted across the internet (as if my blog had that much influence), but it also is an exercise for me personally to communicate well...
This instance is no different.. Sorry. :)
Several months ago my friend commenced into this incredibly intricately woven.. funny plan to.. you guessed it.. Hook me up. (Story of my life haha) This story has been going on for about 5 months at this point, but the comical part is I have done little to actually be apart of "my story".. I did not initiate it, did not encourage it, did not bring it up, and certainly did not ask for it... in fact, I have done so little that I have been told what is going on as an innocent bystander. But, what makes the story so incredibly funny is the fact that I am supposed to be a key player.. since you know.. she's trying to set ME up with this guy.
I am normally a little leery with the whole being set up thing.. I have had a few doosey experiences, but given the right friend who knows me well, I will give it a chance. Since this friend knows me well, I decided not to shut down the idea right away.. 5 months ago.. So, I have spent the last several months being an innocent bystander in this whole thing, and have not actually had anything substantial take place.. except for a few incredibly awkward but funny moments, that ironically did not involve this guy and I.. just the people around us TALKING about us... without both of us present.. it has always just been one of us... How could this be?.. Well we had not met.. Amusing beyond all amusings.. and it has all felt like a sitcom/arranged marriage type situation. The type where you know someone has GOT to be filming this whole thing because there is no way these types of situations actually happen to people right?!..
Nope, they happen in the sitcom that is my life!
Well, this weekend 5 months of build up and this guy and I met... And, he earned some major kudos for how he initiated and lead.. I was pleasantly surprised. He also handled the awkwardness imposed by our mutual friend with incredible grace and style. The interaction was normal, no super incredible story, nothing too forward or assuming, just casual, enjoyable, with a touch of curiosity... It helped that he was surprisingly tall and attractive. I am not expecting anything to come of this, except for the absolutely amazing and funny story I have already. But, I am open to seeing where God leads next.. 2010 was an awful year, but I am so glad to have been there.. I have no idea what to expect from 2011... And, I like it that way!
A year ago Sarah and I had just survived a massive argument that at the end neither of us really could remember why we had started arguing, except that we knew we were each safe.. and were mad the other had not been calling as much as normal.. Without realizing we were both needing the mind-reading support of the other... We were both really struggling and life was just hard.. not necessarily for any reason at all.. Satan's just a jerk.
Now, a year later.. Her life has changed forever.. and years of my prayers were answered in a few simple words and exchanging of rings.. It was truly awesome, and she was thrilled, but totally at peace and calm about it all.. I love her so dearly, and am forever thankful for God bringing us together.. I have needed her friendship so many more times then I like to admit, and that she would ever know!
On to other things from this weekend...
I tend to write in a bit of a cryptic way so that those aware of situations and things going on get all sorts of insight and information, and those unaware get pretty much a basic overview of what is going on. Both people get pictures and glimpses of my heart and an authentic view of who I am, but the reality is sometimes carefully chosen words protect not only the private people in my life who do not like their life blasted across the internet (as if my blog had that much influence), but it also is an exercise for me personally to communicate well...
This instance is no different.. Sorry. :)
Several months ago my friend commenced into this incredibly intricately woven.. funny plan to.. you guessed it.. Hook me up. (Story of my life haha) This story has been going on for about 5 months at this point, but the comical part is I have done little to actually be apart of "my story".. I did not initiate it, did not encourage it, did not bring it up, and certainly did not ask for it... in fact, I have done so little that I have been told what is going on as an innocent bystander. But, what makes the story so incredibly funny is the fact that I am supposed to be a key player.. since you know.. she's trying to set ME up with this guy.
I am normally a little leery with the whole being set up thing.. I have had a few doosey experiences, but given the right friend who knows me well, I will give it a chance. Since this friend knows me well, I decided not to shut down the idea right away.. 5 months ago.. So, I have spent the last several months being an innocent bystander in this whole thing, and have not actually had anything substantial take place.. except for a few incredibly awkward but funny moments, that ironically did not involve this guy and I.. just the people around us TALKING about us... without both of us present.. it has always just been one of us... How could this be?.. Well we had not met.. Amusing beyond all amusings.. and it has all felt like a sitcom/arranged marriage type situation. The type where you know someone has GOT to be filming this whole thing because there is no way these types of situations actually happen to people right?!..
Nope, they happen in the sitcom that is my life!
Well, this weekend 5 months of build up and this guy and I met... And, he earned some major kudos for how he initiated and lead.. I was pleasantly surprised. He also handled the awkwardness imposed by our mutual friend with incredible grace and style. The interaction was normal, no super incredible story, nothing too forward or assuming, just casual, enjoyable, with a touch of curiosity... It helped that he was surprisingly tall and attractive. I am not expecting anything to come of this, except for the absolutely amazing and funny story I have already. But, I am open to seeing where God leads next.. 2010 was an awful year, but I am so glad to have been there.. I have no idea what to expect from 2011... And, I like it that way!
Jan 7, 2011
Jan 6, 2011
Jan 3, 2011
Be Made New...
So I tell you this, and insist on it in the Lord, that you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking.
18 They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts.
19 Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, and they are full of greed.
20 That, however, is not the way of life you learned
21 when you heard about Christ and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus.
22 You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires;
23 to be made new in the attitude of your minds;
24 and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.
25 Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body.
26 “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry,
27 and do not give the devil a foothold.
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