Cricket In the Silence...

Today I feel better, different... I do not really have any explanation, except for my Savior.. because to be honest, physically I FEEL terrible today. I was up insanely late two nights in a row, I have begun rehab on my back, plus I have been running a lot, then all the not stretching enough or drinking as much water as I need... And, as my little icing on top, for someone who hates running with a passion, running a couple miles every night has been a HUGE feat for me!.. Plus, the massive heat-wave we are experiencing means that after dark it has been around 90 with humidity at least! Lung capacity while running has been shot because of breathing in water instead of air.. :/

I bought David Crowder's new cd Church Music and LOVE it.. On my way into work today I was listening to it (for the 20 dozenth time in 3 days), and this song really struck me... it's perfect.. Actually the whole cd feels like it was meant for me at this point in what is going on, but this song is right on for today.

My hands are searching for You 

My arms are outstretched towards You 

I feel You on my fingertips 

My tongue dances behind my lips for You 

This fire rising through my being 

Burning, I'm not used to seeing You 

I'm alive, I'm alive 

I can feel you all around me 

Thickening the air I'm breathing 

Holding on to what I'm feeling 

Savoring this heart that's healing 

My hands float up above me 

And You whisper You love me 

And I begin to fade 

Into our secret place 

The music makes me sway 

The angels singing say we are alone with You 

I am alone and they are too with You 

And so I cry 

The light is white 

And I see You 

I'm alive, I'm alive, I'm alive 

Take my hand, I give it to you 

Now you own me, all I am 

You said You would never leave me 

I believe You, I believe

Somehow, in the chaos that has been my mind, the last couple days have felt overwhelmingly silent. The type where you go from such a loud overwhelming noise to... nothing, and the dramatic and sudden change startles you. My mind has done just that... Silence. The type of change where suddenly, you can hear a cricket's overwhelming chirp in the silence, instead of the normal cadence of the loud noises. My mind has not become silent in the "I suddenly have no thoughts" type way at all, but in a "there is a sudden dramatic shift" type way. The pause before the storm, the held breath just before the race gun goes off, the split second before you dive, the overwhelming pounding of your heartbeat... 

I do not know where, why, or what it means.. but it feels like a sweet and welcome change. I like feeling the silence enough to hear the cricket chirp in my mind.