Field Full of Dew...

I was driving to work this morning and found myself somewhere between thrilled about the sun blasting my retinas and annoyed at the sheer blinding power of the light. I love the feeling the sunshine gives me, but I hate it early in the morning because I am pretty sure it takes me a couple hours to fully wake up. Plus, I also know in a couple months I will feel starved for sunlight, and more than likely make my way to my annual fake sun places to absorb some man made UV light.. This was the beginning of totally random fleeting thoughts during my morning commute which then mixed with sending a few encouraging text messages to friends and family (at stop lights due to the fact that DC driving and texting = instant party with Jesus). I realized the correlation between my thoughts and feelings towards the sun, friends, and the journey I have been on the last couple years.

Out of almost nowhere, I find myself content again. Totally satisfied with where God has me. I feel normal again, I laugh easily and often once more, thoughts of school or relationships no longer bring very negative visceral reactions, and while the sheer aggravation I experience at work most days is exactly the same, my attitude and perspective has changed. I am so thankful.

What is ironic is I remember telling someone near the end of the summer of '09 that life was just perfect, and I was almost afraid to utter those thoughts because I was fairly certain some rough waters were ahead. I had felt like it was the perfect calm before the storm... (boy was I right on the money with those feelings) You see, my storms tend to have waves of disaster associated with them. 2010 was full of a new mega disaster each month.. I handled it ok, and thankfully was completely surrounded by a support network of family and friends to get me through. The end of 2010 and 2011 so far has been like a slow boiling pressure cooker. I literally felt like I was going to explode like Mount Vesuvius...

I was working so hard to control how things were coming out that not enough stress or pressure was getting released to make any significant difference, and I began dreading the (what felt like ) inevitable explosion, and the poor soul(s) around who would have to take the brunt of that disaster. And, while the support network was there, it had dramatically changed, and no longer felt the same, which left me feeling very alone and protective of myself.

Then out of nowhere God intervened and caused (for no apparent reason) a stillness that was felt to my core, and suddenly I feel at peace once more.

(I did not take either of these pictures, they are linked to where they were found)

All this to paint a picture of what has changed...

All of these thoughts and pictures lead me to realize this morning that it is my turn to be the rallying support for my family and friends who are struggling. It is my turn to support, uphold, encourage, and pray knowing that God will come to their rescue. It is my turn to hold up the arms of my loved ones who are tired (As long as Moses held up his hands, the Israelites were winning, but whenever he lowered his hands, the Amalekites were winning. When Moses’ hands grew tired, they took a stone and put it under him and he sat on it. Aaron and Hur held his hands up—one on one side, one on the other—so that his hands remained steady till sunset. - Exodus 17:11-12).
I know it is not I myself that will change anything, it is not my job to solve their problems, and they will inevitably have to walk through this period just like I did. But, I also know that they will get through this time, just like I did...

In the end, they will feel the peace to their core like a bright sunshine filled morning in a field full of dew.

Perfect Saturday...

Today has been a perfect Saturday.. It has been so long since I have had one, that I almost forgot what they even felt like... looked like.. and more importantly how precious they are. I woke up gloriously late (11am) and was greeted by a text inviting me to join my friend for a run.. Not exactly my favorite, but since it was beautiful outside for the first time in a solid week, and I really have to begin training for my 10k in less than two months, I agreed, and even was ok glad to work off the energy and stress. Although, to be fair, I am terribly out of shape, but glad to get back into it. Then I took my time showering and getting ready for my day, including making myself an amazing omelet. Afterwards I took off to the Metro to take a ridiculously long ride into the city, although it was faster than trying to drive once I passed the expressway!... Slowly I made my way to Ebenezers coffee shop (The coffee shop owned by my church) to spend hours upon hours reading and doing homework. I typically have very little drive to accomplish any of it on the weekend, but since I had a gift card from my roomie (thank you!) I decided it was the perfect excuse to head in, get a change of scenery, and get some things accomplished since I am once again in a class I do not understand much about (Stats AGAIN?!). It feels awesome to be in a familiar setting of coffee and people wafting in and out while I people watch and read incredibly boring articles... It is a nice familiar welcome change of pace.

Later the plan is to meet up with some friends to show them a tri-level jazz club here in the city.. Doing whatever I want, at whatever pace I choose... This is like an old friend I forgot how enjoyable their company is!...

Plus the sun has been out all day!

Summer Oh Summer...

I do not know about anyone else, but summer's mere presence makes me feel better.

I love having the freedom to walk outside with anything and not be blasted by bitter fridged temperatures. It  honestly makes me excited every time I do it.. (26 summers down.. who know show many left!)..

I think it is important to point out that my favorite outfit is comfy capris or shorts and a tank-top.. I love being barefoot or in flip flops and having little to no makeup on with my hair some sort of wrangled out of my face (It has been a long time since I have had to figure out how to do that with short hair..).

I always feel better and more confident tan and fit.. and summer and tan go hand in hand for me.

I love driving with my windows down, hair flowing, and music blaring. I love the smells of summer, when you can tell it is going to rain, just rained, or the scorching heat just soaks in and it feels like very bit of my body is filled with sunshine... The heat never bothers me.

There is some sort of excitement and energy about getting caught in a warm summer storm and getting SOAKED before you can make it to shelter... Which leads me to...

I would be remiss to point out that I love the water.. I am a water baby to the core, and would spend every day next to some sort of water if I could. Hence why the summer job of a boat driver was wonderful to me.. Sunshine AND water... mixed with laughing and screaming kids. Loved it!

I seriously treasure night walks in the summer with the residual heat from the day mixing with the attempted cool of the night.. Moonlight, firefly's, crickets, and frogs creating a surreal ambiance that always makes it feel slightly like a fairytale.

Besides, what would summer be without ice cream, ice drinks, slushies, and lots of fruit!... Some of my favorite things.

There is a freedom that comes with summer, even to this day, even though I work full time and am in school, I always feel more hopeful in the summer. The days are longer, the opportunities feel endless, and the energy is contagious.

I love summer, it is by far, hands down, my favorite season.