Mar 13, 2009

Chaos as a Pace...

So, I don't know how you function, I tend to function best when I have more to do then I can possibly fit into my schedule. I relish in feeling like my life is "hopping." I love it when I look at my planner and I can't figure out how I managed to pull it all off. I laugh though when I actually have to tell people what my plans are because they get this glazed over "OH MY GOSH" look on their face. haha!

I have had people tell me before that I shouldn't be so busy because that takes away my ability to hear from God. And while that CAN be the case I seriously fight the idea that it simply is a given that because I love being busy and go to great lengths to maintain my pace of life (for the most part at least).. I refuse to believe that one causes the other. However, what I will concede is that if I am not purposeful about it God can slip to the bottom of my list before I've even set foot on the floor in the morning. One of the things I do have to be careful of, and intentional about is to make sure God gets His time just like any other friend of mine, and that I plan out time specifically for them.

I love my chaotic pace of life, I also realize it more than likely later there will be times in my life where I simply can't maintain the pace that I keep currently... a perk of being single for sure :)

In case there are any questions, let me explain why I enjoy a fast, busy, slightly chaotic pace of life.. I like knowing I've been productive. When I can look back at my day and I remember every task I accomplished, the people I talked with, the people I remembered, the chats with God, the worship moments, the service projects, the gifts I bought etc..etc.. I very much enjoy the exhaustion at the end of the night when I'm lying in my bed knowing that I gave everything I had to my day. I tried to seize every moment, I tried to laugh and express the joy and love I feel from my creator. Part of it goes back to making my goal to live my life 110% every day for my Sweet Savior. I hate the idea of living my life as a means of tithe alone.. I don't want it to be about the 10% I give back, I want it to all be about the fact that it's God's anyway. So, in my mind I like knowing I was productive and I like knowing that I gave God everything so obviously he will bless it because that's all I had... That and I feel like I am more on top of things when I'm busy, my mind feels sharper.

Haha.. I realize part of this seems like an odd approach, but I really want to know I did everything on my end to allow God to use me. And, in a way my chaotic pace allows me to do a barrage of things... And, no, I don't feel like I do them less effectively because of how busy I am, it's the exact opposite, I feel like I do them all more diligently because I have just this certain amount of time to give this task, so I better do it well the first time so I don't have to come back to it later.

Odd I know, but I enjoy it and don't feel bad for it... unless the pace allows me to leave God behind, that's when I have to re-prioritize everything.

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